(no subject)

[longsufferingly]

This one turned out a little longer than anticipated, so it gets its own post! J2 blind date for stewie_rocks94! As a reminder, bidding for help_haiti runs until January 20, so if you haven't checked it out, definitely do so! My big auction is up here, and there are tons of other awesome people selling themselves all over, so definitely take a look around. Also, I am kind of sick, so I am STRIVING to get stuff written for January 22, but I am also dizzy and occasionally incoherent, so. I will get them done as soon as I can with a minimum sacrifice of quality.


After Genevieve tells Jared that she's really not up for anything serious and breaks his heart, his friends start trying to set him up.

It's kind of sweet, in a way. He was out of the entire dating thing for a while--first the shock of getting dumped by the girl he thought he might marry, and then just weariness. He'd been dating since he was fourteen, and by twenty-eight, he was just tired of it.

Milo is the first one to bring it up. "Dude, this is depressing."

"What?" asks Jared. "How much I'm kicking your ass here?"

"The fact that you are this good at Mario Kart."

"Jealous?"

"You need more to do with your life."

"I do plenty," says Jared. "Being single isn't a crime, you know."

"I know," says Milo. "But it's sad, you know? You're in your prime. You need to get back out there."

"I do not."

"Look, I've got a friend."

Jared groans.

"Seriously! Her name's Alexis, she's cute, she's funny, she's totally your type."

Jared sighs. "You're not gonna shut up about this, are you?"

"Nope," says Milo shamelessly. "It's for your own good, man. Time to get back on the saddle."

"Fine," says Jared, glaring. "Just tell me when and where."

*

Alexis is pretty cute and funny, and she's definitely Jared's type, but that's actually kind of a problem. She's too small and dark-haired for him to feel comfortable--he's on edge and unsure and second guessing everything. Alexis can clearly tell, and they part on good terms without any expectation of anything else happening.

It's not that bad, all told.

But it opens up the floodgates.

*

"So, I hear you're dating again," says Katie.

"I went on a date, yeah," says Jared warily.

"Well, you should go out with my friend Jessica," says Katie. "She's awesome. Seriously hot, too. If she was even a little bi, I'd hit that."

"I don't think dating someone because you can't is the best idea."

"She's too hot for no one to be dating her, Jared," says Katie earnestly. "It's a crime. You have got to do this."

Jared sighs. "Fine. But you owe me."

"After you see her?" says Katie. "You're totally going to owe me."

*

About halfway through the date with Jessica, she confesses that she's maybe a little into girls, and Jared says he's kind of into guys, and they spend the rest of the date talking about how bisexuality is a valid life choice, and, yes, Katie really does like girls.

Three days later, Jared gets a voicemail from Katie admitting that she owes him, and Jared can't help grinning.

*

After that, Jared assumes that some sort of betting pool is established, because suddenly it's all dates all the time. Misha has a cousin who's new in town (she's as crazy as he is, though, which is too much crazy for Jared); Tom's sister has a friend who has a friend who needs a date to a premiere (Jared doesn't think she remembers how to eat); AJ has a friend who just realized he's gay (but it turns out he's not). Jared thinks that if there was an Guinness record for "most awkward blind dates orchestrated by well-meaning friends," he'd have it in the bag.

He tries to remind himself that they mean well, but it's honestly driving him crazy.

*

His reputation gets so great that Ashlee, who works in the cubicle next to his, even decides to get in on it.

"Hey, Jared," she says, with an overly innocent look. Jared likes Ashlee, sort of--it's an impersonal like, mostly because she's never done anything to make him dislike her. But he suspects that she's kind of a bitch, possibly.

"Hey," says Jared cautiously.

"I hear you're single, right?"

"Yeah."

She beams. "Omigosh, do you want to do me the biggest favor?"

"Not until I know what it is," says Jared, giving her a smile to let her know he's not totally unwilling. Jared's a helpful guy, when he can be.

"Okay, so, you know Mackenzie in accounting?"

"Sort of. I don't think we've ever talked."

"Her brother is gorgeous, and I've been trying to get her to set me up with him forever. And she said he never dates, which I can't believe, because, omigosh."

"Right," says Jared, losing interest by the second.

"Anyways," says Ashlee, apparently sensing she's losing him, "she just broke up with her boyfriend and I guess he's worried about her or something, because he said he'd only go out if she went on a date too. Like a double date! And she says she likes tall guys with good sense of humor and I thought she'd like you!"

"It's not really a blind date if I already know the girl," Jared points out.

"I said I'd ask you and she said that'd be okay! Come on, she's cute, right?"

Jared considers. If Ashlee hadn't told Mackenzie that she was asking Jared, he'd definitely say no, because office romances are really awkward. On the other hand, Mackenzie's always seemed like a nice girl, and he doesn't want her to think that he doesn't like her.

He sighs. "Yeah, fine. I'll go," he says.

"You're my favorite, Jared! Thank you so much. I'll text you the details, okay! You're the best!"

Jared sometimes wishes he was more of a dick. He should get lessons from Chad or something.

*

Jared ends up arriving before Ashlee and Mackenzie's brother, for which he is profoundly grateful. Mackenzie gives him a warm smile as he slides in across from her.

"Hey. It's Jared, right?"

"Yeah. Hi."

She rubs the back of her neck, smile fading into nervousness. "Listen, um. I don't know what Ashlee told you, but--I'm not really looking for anything right now. Especially not an office thing, because I tried dating someone from work a while ago and it went really badly, so--"

"Hey, don't worry about it," says Jared. "Honestly, I just didn't want her giving me wounded puppy dog eyes every time I saw her. I do have to work next to her."

Mackenzie laughs. "Yeah, that's why I gave in. She saw one picture of my brother on my desk and decided they were meant to be. Wouldn't take no for an answer."

"So, what's gonna convince her?"

"Hopefully the way he's not into women. Which I tried to tell her, but she wasn't really getting it."

"Oh," says Jared, a little strangely. He doesn't check out guys that much, mostly because his gaydar is for shit. Yeah, twinks he can usually figure out, but most guys he has to be told. And once he knows, he can't stop checking them out, wondering about them.

So that's going to be awkward.

"That isn't a problem for you, is it?" asks Mackenzie, with a hard look.

"No!" says Jared, probably too quickly. "No, I'm bi, so--" he clarifies quickly. "If it was a problem for me, I'd be in trouble."

Mackenzie laughs. "Guess so."

"So," says Jared, clearing his throat a little awkwardly. "Accounting. How's that?"

Mackenzie takes the subject change gracefully, and Jared finds himself having not a bad time at all.

*

By the time Ashlee arrives, Mackenize has talked Jared into sitting next to her, because she really, really doesn't want to sit next to Ashlee. He teases her a little about throwing her brother to the wolves, but she scoffs and says that Jensen can handle himself.

"Hi!" says Ashlee brightly. "You two look cozy."

"Hey, Ash. Jensen said he's gonna be a little late, and we should order," says Mackenzie with a sweet smile.

"I can't believe you got me a date with him, thank you soooo much," says Ashlee.

Mackenzie sighs. "Sure," she says, with the tone of someone who's had this conversation too many times.

"So, what are you guys getting?" Ashlee asks brightly. "What's good?"

Jared prepares himself for an awkward night.

*

Jensen arrives right after they place their orders for appetizers. He slides in next to Ashlee with an apologetic smile. "Sorry, it got kind of crazy at the office."

Ashlee was right--Jensen is hot. He has short brown hair and green eyes, and freckles. Jared never thought freckles were a turn-on before, particularly, but they really suit Jensen.

"Hi," he says, looking from Ashlee to Jared. "You guys must be Ashlee and--Jared, right?"

"Yeah," says Jared, too quickly. "Jared."

"Nice to meet you. I'm Jensen." He gives Jared a quick smile, a flash of white teeth, and Jared kind of wishes Mackenzie had never mentioned the gay thing. Because now he's going to be having really inappropriate thoughts about him all night.

"So, Jensen, what do you do?" asks Ashlee.

Jensen turns away from Jared to look at her. "I do design for a video game company, actually. Computer rendering and stuff."

"Wait, seriously?" asks Jared. "Dude, that's awesome! Anything I might have played?"

"Depends on what you're into. It's mostly survival-horror stuff. My boss is kind of a B-movie junkie, so I spend a lot of time trying to build a scarier zombie. But, hey, that's kind of cool, right?"

"Are you kidding? I wish I got to do anything that cool."

"Mac said you guys were in customer service?" Jensen asks.

"Yeah. It's--well, it pays the bills, you know?"

Jensen laughs. "Hey, never underestimate the importance of the day job."

"Yeah, it feeds my video game habit, thus keeping you in a job."

"Exactly. God bless the economy."

"So, let's see," says Jared, leaning back. "Survival-horror. Resident Evil stuff?"

"Pretty much. Our latest was Salvation, came out last year."

"Hey, I totally played that! Seriously badass. Couldn't sleep without a nightlight for a week, but, you know."

Jensen laughs again. "Hey, that's what I like to hear. I make a grown man cry, I'm doing my job right."

"I didn't cry," says Jared. He flashes Jensen a grin. "Not much, anyway."

Jensen snorts. "Single manly tear?"

"Exactly."

Mackenzie clears her throat, looking amused. "So, Ashlee. How's customer service going?"

Jared flushes, realizing he's definitely been flirting with Mackenzie's brother, who is not his date. But Jensen flashes him another quick smile as Ashlee starts bitching about a crazy customer, and Jared can't bring himself to feel too bad.

*

At the end of the night, Jensen gallantly explains to Ashlee that he appreciates her help getting his little sister out again, but he's really not interested in her, or women. Ashlee looks put-out, and Jared wonders if she was hoping to turn him or something.

He gives Jared another one of his smiles and says, "Good to meet you, Jared."

Jared can't actually leave it at that, though, so he screws up his courage and says, "Hey, could I get your number? You know, in case I need some video games on the cheap."

Jensen laughs and ducks his head. "Yeah, sure."

Mackenzie gives him a significant look, and Jared pretends not to notice.

*

"So," says Chad. "You went on a double date, fell for the chick's brother, and now you're too afraid to call him, even though you know he likes dick. I've got this, right?"

Jared groans. "Much as I wish you didn't, yeah. That's pretty much it."

"Dude, you've gone on like thirty dates since you and Genevieve split. How can you be wussing out now?"

"I didn't know any of them," says Jared. "I didn't care."

"And now you care," says Chad, shaking his head. "Dude, suck it up."

It's far from the worst advice Chad has ever given him.

*

Three days later, Mackenzie stops by his cubicle.

"Hey, Jared."

"Hey! What's up?"

She bites her lip. "So, my friend is new in town, really doesn't know a lot of people. I was wondering--you up for another blind date?"

It's not like Jared can say, "I'd rather not, I'm too hung up on your brother," and he's not really prepared with any other excuses, so what ends up coming out of his mouth is, "Sure, no problem."

Mackenzie shoots him a grin. "Anyone ever tell you you're kind of too nice?"

"I tell myself every day."

She laughs. "Thanks, Jared."

*

Really, Jared tells himself, the fact that Mackenzie is setting him up at all is probably evidence that Jensen is not interested. Because if Jensen were interested, he probably would have mentioned it to her, given she was the one who introduced them.

Or maybe he just thinks that if Jared were interested, he would have called, after going to all the trouble of getting his number, instead of chickening out every time he thought about it.

All of these things are running through his brain as he waits at his table, trying not to think about his actual date. Mackenzie gave him no information, and he's trying not to perk up every time someone comes in, because it's not like he'd know it was his date anyway.

At least, that's what he tells himself until Jensen comes in.

Jensen looks around and spots Jared pretty much instantly, and since Jared is still looking at him, it's not like he can save them both an awkward moment by pretending he didn't see him.

Weirdly, Jensen looks mildly terrified before squaring his shoulders and walking over.

"Did you--" he sighs and starts over, rubbing the back of his neck just like Mackenzie had. "My sister set you up, didn't she."

"Yeah," says Jared, a little taken aback.

"God, I'm going to kill her. I told her I don't need dating help, and--" he groans.

"Wait," says Jared, feeling really, really slow. "You're my date?"

"Unless Mac set us both up for blind dates at the same restaurant at the same time."

"Oh," says Jared.

"I told her you weren't into guys, but I guess she--"

"Yeah I am," says Jared.

Jensen stares for a minute. "You are?"

"Yeah." Jared smiles at him. "And I've been trying to get up the nerve to ask you out since I met you, so I feel like I owe your sister."

Jensen cautiously slides into the booth across from him. "Oh. So--we're on a date?"

"Yeah," says Jared. "I hope so."

Jensen smiles back and laughs a little. "So I guess I don't have to kill my sister."

"I don't think so," says Jared.

"Great," says Jensen. He smirks. "So, where are you from?"

Jared's got a good feeling about this one.