SPN/Psych RPS fic

[longsufferingly]

timmesque wanted Psych/Supernatural crossover RPS. So here we have Psych/Supernatural crossover RPS, in five scenes. It doesn't even get a real header, because I'm that lazy. Also because it is full of ~*~surprises~*~

1.

It starts because they miss Rosenbaum. Not that Tom isn't still awesome, but he's all mopey and hangs out with Justin Hartley and Aaron Ashmore now, and Jared has this grudgematch with Aaron Ashmore that he doesn't want to explain to Jensen, presumably because it is that stupid.

There are only so many other TV shows that film in Vancouver, and Jensen watched that episode of Psych with Gary Cole in it because he kind of likes Gary Cole, so they figure they might as well try drinking together.

"You know," says James Roday, "I have this theory that Shawn Spencer is actually Dean's twin, and they were separated at birth."

"Huh," says Jensen.

"It'd probably be healthy if Dean had another brother to fixate on," says Jared.

"Shut up, Sam would totally get jealous."

"Sam could have Gus," says James Roday.

"No, he couldn't," says Dule Hill.

"So, look," says Jared, as the conversation lulls. "I don't want to be rude, but we have a lot of expectations from drinking buddies." He looks to Jensen for support.

"Yeah, yeah," agrees Jensen.

"We've been burned before. Rosenbaum left his shithole of a show and broke our hearts."

"Hey, I was on that show," Jensen objects.

"You left it because I was cooler."

"I did leave it because you were cooler," Jensen grants.

"Anyway," says Jared, "here's the problem. We like you guys and all, but can you be as crazy as Michael Rosenbaum?"

Dule Hill and James Roday look at each other for a while, communicating silently.

"No," says Dule Hill finally.

"But we know someone who can."


2.

It turns out Maggie Lawson is actually clinically insane.

"Tequila's on me, bitches!" she shouts.

"It's kind of like if Rosenbaum was a hot girl," says Jensen.

"All Tom's dreams come true in one person," agrees Jared.

"We can never introduce them."

"Her and Tom or her and Mike?"

Jensen considers this. "Either."


3.

"No, no, Timmy here loves when people help him with his lines," says James. He's got a giant sign that reads "KISS ME NOW, SPENCER."

"So all we have to do is come on your set and hold up signs that ask your co-star to jump you? Sounds pretty basic," says Jensen.

"Isn't that kind of gay?" asks Jared.

"Dude," says James. "You two live together."

"But we don't make out," says Jensen.

"Well, not much," agrees Jared.


4.

"I'm not sure this was a good idea," says James, tilting his head.

"This was a terrible idea," agrees Jared.

"They're gonna get drunk and try to ground us," says Dule.

"Sometimes Jeff gets drunk and tries to get us to hunt the undead," says Jensen.

"Maybe they'll tell us we should bond about being psychic," Jared muses.

"Uh, guys?" says Dule. "I think we didn't consider the worst possibility."

Jensen turns and drops his drink. He could have gone his entire life without seeing Corbin Bernsen and Jeffrey Dean Morgan making out.

"I think we're brothers now," Jared says, sounding shell-shocked.

"I'm not moving into your gay house."

"Please," says Jared, "like we'd let you live in our gay house."


5.

"I can't believe you replaced me with guys from a USA show!" rages Rosenbaum when he comes in for a guest spot.

"We were heartbroken," says Jensen.

"He cried himself to sleep every night."

"I thought I cried myself to sleep because of my gay crush on you."

"That too. Crier."

"USA isn't even a real channel! What happened to your CW loyalty?"

"We got a better offer."

"They can't be as crazy as me," says Rosenbaum glumly.

Jared and Jensen exchange a look. They don't mention Maggie Lawson. There are rules.