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May. 25th, 2009 12:25 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
longsufferinglyHappy birthday, ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
hd_obsession!
Have a fic.
Goin' to the Chapel
Jared/Jensen, PG
When Jared was five, he wanted to marry his cousin Amy, because he's from Texas, and he had to live the hick stereotype.
Okay, that's not why. He really wanted to marry her because she liked Transformers and had a few less cooties than other girls.
Then she punched him and knocked out one of his teeth because he told her he thought her hair ribbon was stupid, and that was the end of that.
*
When Jared was ten, he wanted to marry Claudia Young, because she had a ten-speed bike, and if you were married to someone, you got their stuff.
She was his first kiss, and she bit his lip so hard it bled trying to seem sexy.
He didn't want to marry someone who made him bleed, because you had to kiss a lot if you were married, and Jared didn't like bleeding that much.
*
When Jared was fifteen, he was dating Pamela Jenkins, so he assumed he was going to marry her. That was what you did after dating.
He lost his virginity to her; he hoped it got better with more practice.
Then she cheated on him with Tom Lincoln, and Jared realized that you didn't have to want to marry someone to have sex with them.
He thought he should have realized it sooner.
*
When Jared was twenty, his brother got married.
He was dating Alexis then, but he didn't want to marry her.
"How'd you know?" he asked Jeff.
"Know what?"
"You know," said Jared. "She's your one and only."
Jeff laughed. "You just know, Jared."
"Everyone always says that."
"I know. Lame answer, right?"
"Totally," Jared agreed.
"I guess," said Jeff slowly, "I just thought one day how much it was going to suck to break up with her. Because you always break up, right? And then I thought--I never wanted to. I thought when I was old and gray and her tits were sagging, I'd still want her around, still love her."
Jared snorted. "Man, you're a romantic."
Jeff shoved him in the shoulder. "Shut up, toolbag."
*
When Jared was twenty-five, he wanted to marry Sandy McCoy.
But when he was twenty-two, he'd met Jensen Ackles.
That fucked everything up pretty good.
*
When Jared is thirty, he marries Jensen Ackles.
Jensen doesn't have a ten-speed bike, and he thinks Power Rangers are cooler than Transformers, and someday his tits are going to sag.
Somehow, none of it matters.
"Fuck you," says Jensen, squeezing his pecs. "These are going to be perky for fucking ever."
Jared laughs.
He just knows.
hd_obsession!Have a fic.
Goin' to the Chapel
Jared/Jensen, PG
When Jared was five, he wanted to marry his cousin Amy, because he's from Texas, and he had to live the hick stereotype.
Okay, that's not why. He really wanted to marry her because she liked Transformers and had a few less cooties than other girls.
Then she punched him and knocked out one of his teeth because he told her he thought her hair ribbon was stupid, and that was the end of that.
*
When Jared was ten, he wanted to marry Claudia Young, because she had a ten-speed bike, and if you were married to someone, you got their stuff.
She was his first kiss, and she bit his lip so hard it bled trying to seem sexy.
He didn't want to marry someone who made him bleed, because you had to kiss a lot if you were married, and Jared didn't like bleeding that much.
*
When Jared was fifteen, he was dating Pamela Jenkins, so he assumed he was going to marry her. That was what you did after dating.
He lost his virginity to her; he hoped it got better with more practice.
Then she cheated on him with Tom Lincoln, and Jared realized that you didn't have to want to marry someone to have sex with them.
He thought he should have realized it sooner.
*
When Jared was twenty, his brother got married.
He was dating Alexis then, but he didn't want to marry her.
"How'd you know?" he asked Jeff.
"Know what?"
"You know," said Jared. "She's your one and only."
Jeff laughed. "You just know, Jared."
"Everyone always says that."
"I know. Lame answer, right?"
"Totally," Jared agreed.
"I guess," said Jeff slowly, "I just thought one day how much it was going to suck to break up with her. Because you always break up, right? And then I thought--I never wanted to. I thought when I was old and gray and her tits were sagging, I'd still want her around, still love her."
Jared snorted. "Man, you're a romantic."
Jeff shoved him in the shoulder. "Shut up, toolbag."
*
When Jared was twenty-five, he wanted to marry Sandy McCoy.
But when he was twenty-two, he'd met Jensen Ackles.
That fucked everything up pretty good.
*
When Jared is thirty, he marries Jensen Ackles.
Jensen doesn't have a ten-speed bike, and he thinks Power Rangers are cooler than Transformers, and someday his tits are going to sag.
Somehow, none of it matters.
"Fuck you," says Jensen, squeezing his pecs. "These are going to be perky for fucking ever."
Jared laughs.
He just knows.
