I watched The Lake House.
Mar. 8th, 2009 10:14 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
longsufferinglyThe Breakup Ritual
Big Bang Theory (Gen, Sheldon&Penny)
Spoilers for "The White Asparagus Triangulation."
788 words.
Sheldon is an expert in many fields, but female interpersonal relationship problems are not one of them.
His sisters had what his mother referrer to as "boy trouble," and when this happened they was unpleasant to be around and more disagreeable than usual. During these times, Sheldon gave them a wide berth and tried to avoid injury; Missy in particular had a temper on her.
In his adult life, he has been spared from almost all kids of relationship drama, male and female. His peer group is given to moping and whining about romance, but it's the lack of it, not the loss. While Sheldon doesn't understand the impulse, it's at least familiar and easy to deal with. Leonard doesn't expect him to be sympathetic or helpful, so there's no need for him to even pretend.
As with all other things, however, Penny is different.
It's Saturday night when the problems begin. Sheldon has just put in his laundry. He's prepared for a leisurely night of World of Warcraft while Leonard is out, but his plans are all for naught when Penny comes in, without even knocking.
Even more unfortunately, she's crying.
"He dumped me!" is the first thing she says.
"Oh dear," says Sheldon. "Are you having some sort of emotional breakdown? Leonard isn't here right now, you should do it somewhere else."
Of course, Penny ignores him, and sits down, sniffling, in his spot.
"Could you sob uncontrollably a little to your right?" he asks.
Penny looks up at him with watery eyes. "Are you kidding me? I got my heart broken and you're telling me to get out of your spot?"
"It's my spot."
"Don't you want to hear what happened?"
"No, but I think you're going to tell me anyway."
As predicted, she does. "He cheated on me! On me! With a brunette! And her breasts? Were not that good. Why would anyone do that? Have you seen me?"
"I'm seeing you right now."
"Why are men such jerks?"
"Evolutionarily speaking there is an argument to be made for--"
"That was rhetorical!"
Sheldon is, against his will, impressed. "I didn't know you knew that word."
Penny manages to cry and glare at him at the same time, which is also rather impressive. "I'm not stupid, Sheldon."
He doesn't have a response to this. Instead, he returns to Warcraft and hopes Penny takes the hint, which she does not.
"I thought we were so happy together, you know?"
"Not really."
"We got along so well."
"You aren't going to stop talking about this, are you?"
"I'm sorry my pain is so inconvenient for you."
"Thank you. Not nearly enough people realize what a burden their feelings can be on others."
Penny glares.
Sheldon sighs. There's no getting around it. "Do you have ice cream?"
"Ice cream?"
"It's my understanding that when one is suffering through a traumatic breakup, one eats ice cream and watches films with girlfriends. Since you seem incapable of going to one of those girlfriends, I seem to have no choice but to join you."
The look in Penny's eyes at this statement is worrying, but the situation seems unavoidable.
*
"The conceit of this film is ridiculous," says Sheldon, his ice cream halfway to his mouth. He can stay silent no longer.
"Oh, what, it's cute."
"The mailbox is an ordinary mailbox. How did it gain powers?"
"Maybe a radioactive spider bit it."
"I don't see why that would give it the power to transport mail through time. Also, it doesn't have any DNA that could be altered. A mailbox isn't alive, Penny."
"Yeah, that was really the problem with that scenario."
*
"This violates the logic of time travel."
"Sheldon, it's time travel. It's not real."
"Yes, but time travel can be handled in a realistic manner. Take, for example, Babylon 5, in which--"
"It's a romantic comedy! Keanu Reeves is in it! It's not supposed to make sense!"
"Well excuse me for holding Keanu Reeves to a higher standard!"
The remainder of ice cream is melting between them and Sheldon's laundry is in need of folding that he has not been allowed to do. All in all, it's a total waste of an evening.
"Thanks, Sheldon," says Penny, as she gets up.
"For what?"
"For being there."
"You didn't really give me a choice. You refused to leave my apartment."
"Just take the compliment, okay?"
"Okay." He hesitates. "I hope you feel better." He does not add "so that you will stop coming here and crying."
He meant sometime in the future, but Penny smiles and says, "You know, I really do."
Sheldon assumes this means he can fold his laundry now.
Big Bang Theory (Gen, Sheldon&Penny)
Spoilers for "The White Asparagus Triangulation."
788 words.
Sheldon is an expert in many fields, but female interpersonal relationship problems are not one of them.
His sisters had what his mother referrer to as "boy trouble," and when this happened they was unpleasant to be around and more disagreeable than usual. During these times, Sheldon gave them a wide berth and tried to avoid injury; Missy in particular had a temper on her.
In his adult life, he has been spared from almost all kids of relationship drama, male and female. His peer group is given to moping and whining about romance, but it's the lack of it, not the loss. While Sheldon doesn't understand the impulse, it's at least familiar and easy to deal with. Leonard doesn't expect him to be sympathetic or helpful, so there's no need for him to even pretend.
As with all other things, however, Penny is different.
It's Saturday night when the problems begin. Sheldon has just put in his laundry. He's prepared for a leisurely night of World of Warcraft while Leonard is out, but his plans are all for naught when Penny comes in, without even knocking.
Even more unfortunately, she's crying.
"He dumped me!" is the first thing she says.
"Oh dear," says Sheldon. "Are you having some sort of emotional breakdown? Leonard isn't here right now, you should do it somewhere else."
Of course, Penny ignores him, and sits down, sniffling, in his spot.
"Could you sob uncontrollably a little to your right?" he asks.
Penny looks up at him with watery eyes. "Are you kidding me? I got my heart broken and you're telling me to get out of your spot?"
"It's my spot."
"Don't you want to hear what happened?"
"No, but I think you're going to tell me anyway."
As predicted, she does. "He cheated on me! On me! With a brunette! And her breasts? Were not that good. Why would anyone do that? Have you seen me?"
"I'm seeing you right now."
"Why are men such jerks?"
"Evolutionarily speaking there is an argument to be made for--"
"That was rhetorical!"
Sheldon is, against his will, impressed. "I didn't know you knew that word."
Penny manages to cry and glare at him at the same time, which is also rather impressive. "I'm not stupid, Sheldon."
He doesn't have a response to this. Instead, he returns to Warcraft and hopes Penny takes the hint, which she does not.
"I thought we were so happy together, you know?"
"Not really."
"We got along so well."
"You aren't going to stop talking about this, are you?"
"I'm sorry my pain is so inconvenient for you."
"Thank you. Not nearly enough people realize what a burden their feelings can be on others."
Penny glares.
Sheldon sighs. There's no getting around it. "Do you have ice cream?"
"Ice cream?"
"It's my understanding that when one is suffering through a traumatic breakup, one eats ice cream and watches films with girlfriends. Since you seem incapable of going to one of those girlfriends, I seem to have no choice but to join you."
The look in Penny's eyes at this statement is worrying, but the situation seems unavoidable.
*
"The conceit of this film is ridiculous," says Sheldon, his ice cream halfway to his mouth. He can stay silent no longer.
"Oh, what, it's cute."
"The mailbox is an ordinary mailbox. How did it gain powers?"
"Maybe a radioactive spider bit it."
"I don't see why that would give it the power to transport mail through time. Also, it doesn't have any DNA that could be altered. A mailbox isn't alive, Penny."
"Yeah, that was really the problem with that scenario."
*
"This violates the logic of time travel."
"Sheldon, it's time travel. It's not real."
"Yes, but time travel can be handled in a realistic manner. Take, for example, Babylon 5, in which--"
"It's a romantic comedy! Keanu Reeves is in it! It's not supposed to make sense!"
"Well excuse me for holding Keanu Reeves to a higher standard!"
The remainder of ice cream is melting between them and Sheldon's laundry is in need of folding that he has not been allowed to do. All in all, it's a total waste of an evening.
"Thanks, Sheldon," says Penny, as she gets up.
"For what?"
"For being there."
"You didn't really give me a choice. You refused to leave my apartment."
"Just take the compliment, okay?"
"Okay." He hesitates. "I hope you feel better." He does not add "so that you will stop coming here and crying."
He meant sometime in the future, but Penny smiles and says, "You know, I really do."
Sheldon assumes this means he can fold his laundry now.
