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longsufferinglyTitle: I'm Sticking With You
Author:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
chash
Fandom: Supernatural RPS
Pairing: Jared Padalecki/Jensen Ackles
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Real person fiction, irreverence about religion in general.
Word Count: 917 words
Summary: Technically, they're in a relationship, but mostly they just have sex and bicker. Sometimes at the same time.
Disclaimer: Lies and untruths.
"Just so you know," says Jensen. "I'm really bad at being in love."
"Fuck that," says Jared. "Let's just have fun."
"Oh, being in love is supposed to be fun? No wonder I was sucking at it."
"Stick with me," says Jared, grinning. "I'll show you how it's done."
*
Three weeks in, Jared says, "I'm converting to Hinduism."
Jensen doesn't even look up. "Why Hinduism?"
"Your blowjobs, man. Blowjobs that good? Proof that there is a god."
"A Hindu god."
"Yeah."
"So my blowjobs made you find...is there a Hindu equivalent of finding Jesus?"
"Finding Krishna."
"Right. My blowjobs made you find Krishna."
"I'm a changed man."
"Sure you are."
*
They figure they should probably tell at least Kripke that they're dating. Or whatever it is they're doing. Sleeping together and living together and making out when they don't have time for sex.
In the end, they get Kripke, Sera, and Kim together and tell them all at once.
"Of course you are," says Kripke.
"You really had me going for a minute there," says Sera.
Kim just tells them to stop wasting his time.
"Did they not believe us?" asks Jared.
"Nope."
"Huh," says Jared. "I didn't see that one coming."
*
"Oh Ganesh, yes!" says Jared when he comes.
"Dude," says Jensen.
"I'm just trying it out," Jared protests.
"I'm using my veto power."
"You don't have veto power."
"If you're going to fuck me and say 'Ganesh' when you come, then you're not going to fuck me."
"This is religious persecution."
"You're not actually Hindu."
"Well, I could be."
Jensen snuggles into Jared's chest. "Sure you could, honey. Go to sleep."
*
"So how do we prove this isn't a prank?" asks Jensen.
"What wouldn't we do for a prank?"
Both of them consider this for a long time. It's a really good question.
"Have sex in front of them," says Jensen finally.
"I'm not having sex in front of them!" says Jared. "Can't we just make out?"
"We'd do that for a prank," says Jensen.
"Have we done that for a prank?" asks Jared. "I can't remember."
"This is my point," says Jensen, sighing. "God, it's like the Boy who Cried Wolf. But with gay sex."
"I had gay sex on the set of Cry_Wolf," says Jared thoughtfully.
"Was it with Bon Jovi?" asks Jensen. "Dude, please say you had sex with Bon Jovi."
"Aren't you supposed to be jealous?"
"Hell no," says Jensen. "If you slept with him, then I slept with him. By association."
"I don't think it works like that."
"Yeah it does," says Jensen. "If A equals B and B equals C, then A equals C, bitch."
"If by equals, you mean has gay sex with."
"Yeah."
Jared stares at him for a minute. "Did you seriously just use the transitive property to prove you had sex with Bon Jovi?"
"Admit it," says Jensen with a leer, "you're a little turned on right now."
"Freak," says Jared.
But then they have sex anyway, so Jensen wins this round.
*
"Oh Buddha!"
"I don't think Buddha's a god."
"Buddha damn it," says Jared, collapsing in a boneless pile on Jensen.
Jensen pats him on the back consolingly.
*
"Maybe you could just give me a handjob in front of them," says Jared.
"Can you not talk about this while I'm right here?" asks Jim.
"You believe we're fucking, right, Jim?" asks Jared.
"I don't want to know," says Jim.
"But I don't have to give Jared a handjob in front of you, right?" says Jensen.
"You had better not," says Jim.
"Thanks for your support," says Jared with a grin.
*
"Oh Xenu!"
"Absolutely fucking no," says Jensen.
*
"How about Allah?" asks Jared.
Jensen nuzzles under Jared's jaw. "Still weird."
"You're vetoing everything that isn't Christian," says Jared, angling his head for better access. "That's pretty close-minded."
"God is a general term," Jensen points out. "Can you shut up?"
"Make me," says Jared, and Jensen gets on that.
Which, naturally, is when the PA walks in.
"Jared, we need you for--oh! Um. I'm sorry. I'll just, um...Jared, you're supposed to be filming in, um. Five minutes."
She scampers out.
"Oh sweet Moses," says Jared, leaning back and laughing.
"No Moses either," says Jensen.
"Whatever you say, Hitler."
*
After that, word pretty much gets around that Jared and Jensen were actually serious about the whole relationship thing. Which is a shock for everyone on set.
Sera still seems dubious. "You probably knew the PA was coming."
"What do you want?" asks Jared. "A video of us making out in the shower?"
"I bet you'd just argue the whole time about not fitting."
"That did happen the first time we had sex in the shower," Jared admits.
"Just because you're a fucking giant."
"That's just how the great spirit made me," says Jared.
"What the hell religion is that supposed to be?"
"Native American."
"If you yell that next time I fuck you, I'm dumping you."
Sera clears her throat.
"Okay, okay. I believe you."
"Thank the great spirit," says Jared.
Jensen smacks him.
*
"So you know, we've been doing pretty okay with this love thing," says Jared.
"Really? I was just using you for sex," says Jensen.
"Yeah? How long were you gonna keep using me for sex?"
"I dunno," says Jensen. "Rest of my life?"
"You want to have gross old man sex with me?" asks Jared. "That's so sweet, man."
"Fuck you," says Jensen.
"Yeah, okay," says Jared.
And that's pretty much that.
Author:
chashFandom: Supernatural RPS
Pairing: Jared Padalecki/Jensen Ackles
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Real person fiction, irreverence about religion in general.
Word Count: 917 words
Summary: Technically, they're in a relationship, but mostly they just have sex and bicker. Sometimes at the same time.
Disclaimer: Lies and untruths.
"Just so you know," says Jensen. "I'm really bad at being in love."
"Fuck that," says Jared. "Let's just have fun."
"Oh, being in love is supposed to be fun? No wonder I was sucking at it."
"Stick with me," says Jared, grinning. "I'll show you how it's done."
*
Three weeks in, Jared says, "I'm converting to Hinduism."
Jensen doesn't even look up. "Why Hinduism?"
"Your blowjobs, man. Blowjobs that good? Proof that there is a god."
"A Hindu god."
"Yeah."
"So my blowjobs made you find...is there a Hindu equivalent of finding Jesus?"
"Finding Krishna."
"Right. My blowjobs made you find Krishna."
"I'm a changed man."
"Sure you are."
*
They figure they should probably tell at least Kripke that they're dating. Or whatever it is they're doing. Sleeping together and living together and making out when they don't have time for sex.
In the end, they get Kripke, Sera, and Kim together and tell them all at once.
"Of course you are," says Kripke.
"You really had me going for a minute there," says Sera.
Kim just tells them to stop wasting his time.
"Did they not believe us?" asks Jared.
"Nope."
"Huh," says Jared. "I didn't see that one coming."
*
"Oh Ganesh, yes!" says Jared when he comes.
"Dude," says Jensen.
"I'm just trying it out," Jared protests.
"I'm using my veto power."
"You don't have veto power."
"If you're going to fuck me and say 'Ganesh' when you come, then you're not going to fuck me."
"This is religious persecution."
"You're not actually Hindu."
"Well, I could be."
Jensen snuggles into Jared's chest. "Sure you could, honey. Go to sleep."
*
"So how do we prove this isn't a prank?" asks Jensen.
"What wouldn't we do for a prank?"
Both of them consider this for a long time. It's a really good question.
"Have sex in front of them," says Jensen finally.
"I'm not having sex in front of them!" says Jared. "Can't we just make out?"
"We'd do that for a prank," says Jensen.
"Have we done that for a prank?" asks Jared. "I can't remember."
"This is my point," says Jensen, sighing. "God, it's like the Boy who Cried Wolf. But with gay sex."
"I had gay sex on the set of Cry_Wolf," says Jared thoughtfully.
"Was it with Bon Jovi?" asks Jensen. "Dude, please say you had sex with Bon Jovi."
"Aren't you supposed to be jealous?"
"Hell no," says Jensen. "If you slept with him, then I slept with him. By association."
"I don't think it works like that."
"Yeah it does," says Jensen. "If A equals B and B equals C, then A equals C, bitch."
"If by equals, you mean has gay sex with."
"Yeah."
Jared stares at him for a minute. "Did you seriously just use the transitive property to prove you had sex with Bon Jovi?"
"Admit it," says Jensen with a leer, "you're a little turned on right now."
"Freak," says Jared.
But then they have sex anyway, so Jensen wins this round.
*
"Oh Buddha!"
"I don't think Buddha's a god."
"Buddha damn it," says Jared, collapsing in a boneless pile on Jensen.
Jensen pats him on the back consolingly.
*
"Maybe you could just give me a handjob in front of them," says Jared.
"Can you not talk about this while I'm right here?" asks Jim.
"You believe we're fucking, right, Jim?" asks Jared.
"I don't want to know," says Jim.
"But I don't have to give Jared a handjob in front of you, right?" says Jensen.
"You had better not," says Jim.
"Thanks for your support," says Jared with a grin.
*
"Oh Xenu!"
"Absolutely fucking no," says Jensen.
*
"How about Allah?" asks Jared.
Jensen nuzzles under Jared's jaw. "Still weird."
"You're vetoing everything that isn't Christian," says Jared, angling his head for better access. "That's pretty close-minded."
"God is a general term," Jensen points out. "Can you shut up?"
"Make me," says Jared, and Jensen gets on that.
Which, naturally, is when the PA walks in.
"Jared, we need you for--oh! Um. I'm sorry. I'll just, um...Jared, you're supposed to be filming in, um. Five minutes."
She scampers out.
"Oh sweet Moses," says Jared, leaning back and laughing.
"No Moses either," says Jensen.
"Whatever you say, Hitler."
*
After that, word pretty much gets around that Jared and Jensen were actually serious about the whole relationship thing. Which is a shock for everyone on set.
Sera still seems dubious. "You probably knew the PA was coming."
"What do you want?" asks Jared. "A video of us making out in the shower?"
"I bet you'd just argue the whole time about not fitting."
"That did happen the first time we had sex in the shower," Jared admits.
"Just because you're a fucking giant."
"That's just how the great spirit made me," says Jared.
"What the hell religion is that supposed to be?"
"Native American."
"If you yell that next time I fuck you, I'm dumping you."
Sera clears her throat.
"Okay, okay. I believe you."
"Thank the great spirit," says Jared.
Jensen smacks him.
*
"So you know, we've been doing pretty okay with this love thing," says Jared.
"Really? I was just using you for sex," says Jensen.
"Yeah? How long were you gonna keep using me for sex?"
"I dunno," says Jensen. "Rest of my life?"
"You want to have gross old man sex with me?" asks Jared. "That's so sweet, man."
"Fuck you," says Jensen.
"Yeah, okay," says Jared.
And that's pretty much that.
