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Feb. 16th, 2009 06:53 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
longsufferinglyTitle: omg otp!!1!
Author: Chash
Fandom: Bones
Pairing: Booth/Brennan (sort of)
Rating: PG
Warnings: Meta, Gary Stu fanfiction.
Word Count: ~1,800 words
Summary: Sweets gets his best work done during their weekly sessions.
Notes:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
phrenk and I decided that Sweets totally writes Booth/Brennan fanfic, and then inarticulate pointed out that he was totally the Gary Stu who got them together, and then this happened.
Disclaimer: Not mine, don't sue.
Dr. Lance Sweets strolled down the corridor towards his office, flipping through his case files as he prepared for another day of hard work finding criminals and fighting for justice.
He was shocked, upon coming to his door, to find Special Agent Seeley Booth hanging around outside, scuffing his feet nervously against the carpet. It was unlike him.
*
"I don't see why it's such a big deal," says Dr. Brennan. Sweets glances up from his paper. Agent Booth's smile is easy, his posture open; it's not a serious argument, not on his side. Sometimes he gets over-invested in pie. "I like other desserts. I happen to have an aversion to baked fruit. It's not a crime."
"I'm not saying it's a crime, I'm saying it's a prejudice."
They'll be going at this for a while. Sweets turns back to his notes.
*
"Agent Booth. To what to I owe the pleasure?" asked Dr. Sweets.
Booth was silent, uncharacteristically. Something was totally up. "Can we go inside?" asked the agitated agent. "I need to talk to you."
"Of course. You know I'm always here for you."
"I know that," Booth muttered, in a voice that was quiet enough it was clear Sweets wasn't supposed to hear it. He decided to humor Booth and not mention it.
"So, what's up?" asked Dr. Sweets, gesturing to a seat for the older man.
"I'm having problems with Bones."
"Problems?" asked Dr. Sweets. Agent Booth and his stormy partnership with talented, beautiful forensic anthropologist Temperance Brennan, Bones to her partner, had been the focus of Sweets' research for some time. He had been expecting--no, counting on--a conversation like this, most likely from Booth, as the more emotional member of the pair. The tension between them was unmistakable, and a blowup was inevitable.
*
"Back me up on this Sweets," says Booth.
Sweets zones in. "Sorry, what?"
"He isn't paying attention," says Dr. Brennan.
"He isn't," Booth agrees. "He's more interested in his notes than us."
"I can't believe we aren't interesting enough for him. I'm very interesting."
"I'm interested!" Sweets protests. "I apologize, Agent Booth. Please, repeat whatever you said."
"I said Bones is being prejudiced, and as a scientist she should have an open mind. People's tastes change."
"I am very familiar with my tastes!"
"I do think it's interesting how resistant you are to the idea of giving pie another chance, especially given how close the two of you are."
"I don't think not liking his favorite food has any larger implications for our relationship."
"The pie is a metaphor, Dr. Brennan," Sweets explains.
"No, it's not. It's pie," says Booth.
*
"She's acting weird."
"I assume you mean beyond her normal eccentricities."
"Yes, Sweets, outside of that."
"I'll need more information to help you, Agent Booth."
Booth began to pace. Sweets could only hope one of the two had finally realized the deeper feelings they shared. He was sure that whatever was going on with Dr. Brennan was a result of her deep and consuming love for her handsome partner, whether or not she knew it.
"I don't know. She's been . . . distant, strange, she won't spend time with me. I'm worried. I think I did something wrong. Did I do something wrong?"
"When was the last time you talked to her without this . . . weirdness?"
"I don't know, Tuesday?"
*
"Okay, never mind," says Booth, throwing up his hands. "Sweets, you got anything real for us to talk about?"
"I object to your implication that this isn't a legitimate psychological pursuit," says Sweets. "But yeah, we can totally do trust exercises."
"Trust exercises?" asks Booth. "Like I fall backward and she catches me?"
"I don't want to catch him."
"All right, no trust exercises. How's the case going?"
They can debate facts for hours. Sweets has plenty of time.
*
"Did anything exceptional happen?"
"If something exceptional happened, I wouldn't need your help, Sweets," said Booth, using aggression to cover up the kinship and affection he truly felt for his brilliant psychiatrist.
"Just humor me," said Sweets, skillfully manipulating his unwilling witness.
"We were working a case," said Booth.
"The Pooler murder," said Sweets. His peerless profiling of the killer had cracked the gruesome case wide open only yesterday.
"Yeah, that one. Anyway, we went out for coffee to talk about the case," he said, fidgeting a little. Clearly, Sweets was on the right track.
"Did you talk about anything else?"
*
"I just think it would be safer if I carried a gun."
"Last time you had a gun you shot a guy."
"That's what you do with guns! Why would I have a gun if I wasn't going to shoot anyone?"
"Agent Booth, are you denying Dr. Brennan a gun to assert your masculinity in the partnership?"
"What?" asks Booth.
"What?" asks Dr. Brennan.
Sweets loves when he gets to do this. "Dr. Brennan takes the traditionally masculine, rational role in the relationship, while you rely on your feelings and instincts."
"Look, I wear the pants in this relationship."
"Usually we both wear pants," Brennan points out.
"Look, Bones is not manly. She's very, very womanly. She's a woman."
"I am a woman."
"Is that important to you, Agent Booth?" asks Sweets.
"Of course it's important!"
"Why?" asks Brennan.
*
Booth looked away.
"Agent Booth, if you want my help--"
"I told her I had a date with Payton."
"Payton as in Agent Payton Perotta?"
"Yes. Look, it's not a big deal."
Dr. Sweets considered his next move carefully. He wasn't sure how to proceed--it was clear that jealousy was a factor here, a huge factor, but he wasn't sure if Agent Booth was ready yet to accept his partner's true motivation.
"Clearly," said Dr. Sweets cautiously, "it is."
Agent Booth sighed and sat down. "I know what you're going to say."
"You do?" asked Dr. Sweets.
*
"Look, I'm just acknowledging that you're a woman. I don't see what's wrong with that."
"Nothing. But it doesn't have any impact on our relationship."
Booth snorts out a chuckle. "It has an impact."
"No, it doesn't. I wouldn't feel differently about you if you were a woman."
"Yes you would," says Booth, laughing. He repositions, and Sweets knows that this, unlike the pie, actually does bother Agent Booth. This is totally going to be the plot of his next story. Maybe some kind of freak accident can turn Agent Booth into a woman and Dr. Brennan can realize her attraction to his regular form.
But one thing at a time, he needs to finish this one first.
"Our personal conversations would take on a different dimension, probably, but our professional relationship wouldn't be impacted at all."
"Yes it would."
"Agent Booth, you seem threatened by the idea that Dr. Brennan is unconcerned with your masculinity."
"There is no reason to be concerned about my masculinity!" says Booth. "I am super masculine."
*
"Look, Sweets, I'm not stupid. I know I'm in love with Bones."
Dr. Sweets was, for once in his exceptional career, taken by surprise. "You do?"
"Have you seen her? She's gorgeous, intelligent, amazing . . ."
"And the two of you are perfect complements."
"I know that! I just don't think she does."
"Has it occurred to you that dating other women isn't the best way to show her how you feel?"
"I'm not trying to show her how I feel."
Dr. Sweets was, luckily for him, a master of interpreting that which was not being stated outright. "You're trying to make her jealous."
"Yes, I am. But she's not acting jealous, she's just acting weird."
"Dr. Brennan might show feelings differently than other people," Sweets started.
"Look, Sweets, bottom line: do you think she feels the same?
*
"Does Sweets' masculinity have an impact on your relationship?" asks Booth.
"No, not at all."
"It shouldn't be a factor," says Sweets. "As your therapist I should be almost a non-entity."
"That's exactly how I see you, yes. Except when you involve us in your personal life."
Sweets tries to tell himself that this was exactly what he wanted her to say, and that his masculinity is in no way threatened.
"Yeah, that's weird when he involves us in his personal life," agrees Booth.
Sweets is really not interested in hearing this part of the conversation.
*
Sweets couldn't bring himself to lie to Booth. "Yes, I believe she does."
Booth let out a long sigh of relief. "You think she knows?"
"That you love her, or that she loves you?"
"Either, both? I don't know! Look, Sweets, I've never truly loved anyone before. Maybe it's because of my unresolved issues with my father, I'm not sure, but Bones is on a level entirely different from anyone else I've ever known, and I'm sure she's my soulmate. But I don't know what to do, and you're the only one who can help me."
"All right," said Sweets, knowing Booth was speaking the truth, "I'll help you."
*
Booth's phone rings. "It's Caroline. I gotta get this, Sweets."
"Something about the case?" asks Sweets absently, trying to figure out how he'll advise Booth to pursue Dr. Brennan. The romantic part of him would like to believe that Booth just confessing his feelings would result in Dr. Brennan replying in kind, but he knows it won't be that easy. Booth's path to love will be longer, more difficult.
"I assume so," says Dr. Brennan. "You seem very engrossed in your notes this week."
Sweets feels a little sheepish; he tries not to get too preoccupied with his stories, but he's got a really good feeling about this one.
"Up and at 'em, Bones," says Booth, "Caroline got us a warrant."
Sweets gets up to see them out.
"You're not going to object to our leaving early?" asks Dr. Brennan. "You usually object."
"I wouldn't want to stand in the way of justice," says Sweets.
"Bones, come on, murderers to find!"
Dr. Brennan gives Sweets a strange look as she leaves, but she goes, and Sweets gets to his computer.
He doesn't like when they leave early, but he really wants to type up this story. He's pretty sure the guys on the Bred in the Bone LiveJournal community are going to love this chapter, once he finishes the find/replace on the names.
He's totally the best BNF ever.
Author: Chash
Fandom: Bones
Pairing: Booth/Brennan (sort of)
Rating: PG
Warnings: Meta, Gary Stu fanfiction.
Word Count: ~1,800 words
Summary: Sweets gets his best work done during their weekly sessions.
Notes:
phrenk and I decided that Sweets totally writes Booth/Brennan fanfic, and then inarticulate pointed out that he was totally the Gary Stu who got them together, and then this happened.Disclaimer: Not mine, don't sue.
Dr. Lance Sweets strolled down the corridor towards his office, flipping through his case files as he prepared for another day of hard work finding criminals and fighting for justice.
He was shocked, upon coming to his door, to find Special Agent Seeley Booth hanging around outside, scuffing his feet nervously against the carpet. It was unlike him.
*
"I don't see why it's such a big deal," says Dr. Brennan. Sweets glances up from his paper. Agent Booth's smile is easy, his posture open; it's not a serious argument, not on his side. Sometimes he gets over-invested in pie. "I like other desserts. I happen to have an aversion to baked fruit. It's not a crime."
"I'm not saying it's a crime, I'm saying it's a prejudice."
They'll be going at this for a while. Sweets turns back to his notes.
*
"Agent Booth. To what to I owe the pleasure?" asked Dr. Sweets.
Booth was silent, uncharacteristically. Something was totally up. "Can we go inside?" asked the agitated agent. "I need to talk to you."
"Of course. You know I'm always here for you."
"I know that," Booth muttered, in a voice that was quiet enough it was clear Sweets wasn't supposed to hear it. He decided to humor Booth and not mention it.
"So, what's up?" asked Dr. Sweets, gesturing to a seat for the older man.
"I'm having problems with Bones."
"Problems?" asked Dr. Sweets. Agent Booth and his stormy partnership with talented, beautiful forensic anthropologist Temperance Brennan, Bones to her partner, had been the focus of Sweets' research for some time. He had been expecting--no, counting on--a conversation like this, most likely from Booth, as the more emotional member of the pair. The tension between them was unmistakable, and a blowup was inevitable.
*
"Back me up on this Sweets," says Booth.
Sweets zones in. "Sorry, what?"
"He isn't paying attention," says Dr. Brennan.
"He isn't," Booth agrees. "He's more interested in his notes than us."
"I can't believe we aren't interesting enough for him. I'm very interesting."
"I'm interested!" Sweets protests. "I apologize, Agent Booth. Please, repeat whatever you said."
"I said Bones is being prejudiced, and as a scientist she should have an open mind. People's tastes change."
"I am very familiar with my tastes!"
"I do think it's interesting how resistant you are to the idea of giving pie another chance, especially given how close the two of you are."
"I don't think not liking his favorite food has any larger implications for our relationship."
"The pie is a metaphor, Dr. Brennan," Sweets explains.
"No, it's not. It's pie," says Booth.
*
"She's acting weird."
"I assume you mean beyond her normal eccentricities."
"Yes, Sweets, outside of that."
"I'll need more information to help you, Agent Booth."
Booth began to pace. Sweets could only hope one of the two had finally realized the deeper feelings they shared. He was sure that whatever was going on with Dr. Brennan was a result of her deep and consuming love for her handsome partner, whether or not she knew it.
"I don't know. She's been . . . distant, strange, she won't spend time with me. I'm worried. I think I did something wrong. Did I do something wrong?"
"When was the last time you talked to her without this . . . weirdness?"
"I don't know, Tuesday?"
*
"Okay, never mind," says Booth, throwing up his hands. "Sweets, you got anything real for us to talk about?"
"I object to your implication that this isn't a legitimate psychological pursuit," says Sweets. "But yeah, we can totally do trust exercises."
"Trust exercises?" asks Booth. "Like I fall backward and she catches me?"
"I don't want to catch him."
"All right, no trust exercises. How's the case going?"
They can debate facts for hours. Sweets has plenty of time.
*
"Did anything exceptional happen?"
"If something exceptional happened, I wouldn't need your help, Sweets," said Booth, using aggression to cover up the kinship and affection he truly felt for his brilliant psychiatrist.
"Just humor me," said Sweets, skillfully manipulating his unwilling witness.
"We were working a case," said Booth.
"The Pooler murder," said Sweets. His peerless profiling of the killer had cracked the gruesome case wide open only yesterday.
"Yeah, that one. Anyway, we went out for coffee to talk about the case," he said, fidgeting a little. Clearly, Sweets was on the right track.
"Did you talk about anything else?"
*
"I just think it would be safer if I carried a gun."
"Last time you had a gun you shot a guy."
"That's what you do with guns! Why would I have a gun if I wasn't going to shoot anyone?"
"Agent Booth, are you denying Dr. Brennan a gun to assert your masculinity in the partnership?"
"What?" asks Booth.
"What?" asks Dr. Brennan.
Sweets loves when he gets to do this. "Dr. Brennan takes the traditionally masculine, rational role in the relationship, while you rely on your feelings and instincts."
"Look, I wear the pants in this relationship."
"Usually we both wear pants," Brennan points out.
"Look, Bones is not manly. She's very, very womanly. She's a woman."
"I am a woman."
"Is that important to you, Agent Booth?" asks Sweets.
"Of course it's important!"
"Why?" asks Brennan.
*
Booth looked away.
"Agent Booth, if you want my help--"
"I told her I had a date with Payton."
"Payton as in Agent Payton Perotta?"
"Yes. Look, it's not a big deal."
Dr. Sweets considered his next move carefully. He wasn't sure how to proceed--it was clear that jealousy was a factor here, a huge factor, but he wasn't sure if Agent Booth was ready yet to accept his partner's true motivation.
"Clearly," said Dr. Sweets cautiously, "it is."
Agent Booth sighed and sat down. "I know what you're going to say."
"You do?" asked Dr. Sweets.
*
"Look, I'm just acknowledging that you're a woman. I don't see what's wrong with that."
"Nothing. But it doesn't have any impact on our relationship."
Booth snorts out a chuckle. "It has an impact."
"No, it doesn't. I wouldn't feel differently about you if you were a woman."
"Yes you would," says Booth, laughing. He repositions, and Sweets knows that this, unlike the pie, actually does bother Agent Booth. This is totally going to be the plot of his next story. Maybe some kind of freak accident can turn Agent Booth into a woman and Dr. Brennan can realize her attraction to his regular form.
But one thing at a time, he needs to finish this one first.
"Our personal conversations would take on a different dimension, probably, but our professional relationship wouldn't be impacted at all."
"Yes it would."
"Agent Booth, you seem threatened by the idea that Dr. Brennan is unconcerned with your masculinity."
"There is no reason to be concerned about my masculinity!" says Booth. "I am super masculine."
*
"Look, Sweets, I'm not stupid. I know I'm in love with Bones."
Dr. Sweets was, for once in his exceptional career, taken by surprise. "You do?"
"Have you seen her? She's gorgeous, intelligent, amazing . . ."
"And the two of you are perfect complements."
"I know that! I just don't think she does."
"Has it occurred to you that dating other women isn't the best way to show her how you feel?"
"I'm not trying to show her how I feel."
Dr. Sweets was, luckily for him, a master of interpreting that which was not being stated outright. "You're trying to make her jealous."
"Yes, I am. But she's not acting jealous, she's just acting weird."
"Dr. Brennan might show feelings differently than other people," Sweets started.
"Look, Sweets, bottom line: do you think she feels the same?
*
"Does Sweets' masculinity have an impact on your relationship?" asks Booth.
"No, not at all."
"It shouldn't be a factor," says Sweets. "As your therapist I should be almost a non-entity."
"That's exactly how I see you, yes. Except when you involve us in your personal life."
Sweets tries to tell himself that this was exactly what he wanted her to say, and that his masculinity is in no way threatened.
"Yeah, that's weird when he involves us in his personal life," agrees Booth.
Sweets is really not interested in hearing this part of the conversation.
*
Sweets couldn't bring himself to lie to Booth. "Yes, I believe she does."
Booth let out a long sigh of relief. "You think she knows?"
"That you love her, or that she loves you?"
"Either, both? I don't know! Look, Sweets, I've never truly loved anyone before. Maybe it's because of my unresolved issues with my father, I'm not sure, but Bones is on a level entirely different from anyone else I've ever known, and I'm sure she's my soulmate. But I don't know what to do, and you're the only one who can help me."
"All right," said Sweets, knowing Booth was speaking the truth, "I'll help you."
*
Booth's phone rings. "It's Caroline. I gotta get this, Sweets."
"Something about the case?" asks Sweets absently, trying to figure out how he'll advise Booth to pursue Dr. Brennan. The romantic part of him would like to believe that Booth just confessing his feelings would result in Dr. Brennan replying in kind, but he knows it won't be that easy. Booth's path to love will be longer, more difficult.
"I assume so," says Dr. Brennan. "You seem very engrossed in your notes this week."
Sweets feels a little sheepish; he tries not to get too preoccupied with his stories, but he's got a really good feeling about this one.
"Up and at 'em, Bones," says Booth, "Caroline got us a warrant."
Sweets gets up to see them out.
"You're not going to object to our leaving early?" asks Dr. Brennan. "You usually object."
"I wouldn't want to stand in the way of justice," says Sweets.
"Bones, come on, murderers to find!"
Dr. Brennan gives Sweets a strange look as she leaves, but she goes, and Sweets gets to his computer.
He doesn't like when they leave early, but he really wants to type up this story. He's pretty sure the guys on the Bred in the Bone LiveJournal community are going to love this chapter, once he finishes the find/replace on the names.
He's totally the best BNF ever.
