(no subject)

[longsufferingly]

THREE THINGS.

1. I finished the first page of requests from my Christmas drabble meme the other day! So here's a directory of the requests from there so far!

RPS
Tractorbeam Christmas timestamp for juice817
Going to Hell timestamp; Jared's first day living with Jensen for jellicle
J2!Love Actually for setissma
Jared/Jensen mistletoe for hd_obsession
Twilight AU, Edward!Jared/Bella!Jensen for pomavera
Dean ♥ Titanic for moodswingers
Mike hooks up Jared and Jensen for pez_gurl
Jared/Jensen Christmas shopping for family for matalinolukaret
Jared + Jensen + snowman for tinkabell007
J2: flannel sheets and insomnia for wendy
College AU timestamp Christmas for pyroblaze18
Jared and Jensen in a barfight for too_rational
J2 nutcracker for 1orelai
J2 magical unicorn AU for inarticulate
College AU, Mike + Christmas for ellerigbee
Jensen only sleeps with people as pretty as he is for rsadelle
Jared's distressing love of Mexican food for annella
J2, files, calculators and working late at night for joans23
Ugly Christmas sweaters for lazy_daze

Supernatural
Sam/Dean, rickrolled for deidre_c
Sam/Dean Christmas angst for clubinthesky

Other fandoms
Psych; Gus and Shawn the old married couple for oxoniensis
Omi and Buffy hunt vampires for lady_ganesh

2. I picked up a couple prompts at tvm's domestic fic meme.
Arguing about who does what chores... and trading off with sexual favours
Jensen falls asleep on the couch and wakes up in the middle of the night covered with a blanket

3. keepaofthecheez had a dream where Jensen was a stripper and Jared was the cop who kept busting him for being a stripper, and Jensen LOVED JARED but Jared kept telling him to put clothes on, and I did a little comment fic on that because...that's what I do? I dunno. ANYWAY. I might expand on it someday, but for now, I'll just put what I did. It has porn! As a warning.


"This is the third time this week, Midway," said Jared. Jared knew that "Pudgy Midway" was just the guy's stripper name, but he hadn't found any real ID, which made charging him really fucking hard.

Not that this was the only thing Midway made hard, but Jared was ignoring that. He had a job to do, and fucking Vancouver's most notorious stripper wasn't in his job description.

"Gee, Officer Padalecki," Midway drawled, "I'm real sorry." His eyes flicked up and down Jared's body, checking him out blatantly and shamelessly. "Isn't there something I can do to make it up to you?"

Jared glared at him. "Stop taking your clothes off for money."

"Hey, for you?" Midway shot back, winking. "I'd do it for free."

"Next time I get you, I'm going to hold you overnight."

"Aww, are you a cuddler, Officer Padalecki? I should've known."

Jared gritted his teeth. "Get out of my station, Midway."

Midway blew a kiss as he left.

Jared stormed back into his office, locking the door. He had to figure out something to do about this fucking guy.

He knew jerking off wasn't the correct response, but he also definitely had to do it before he could get anything else done.

*

"You can't just fuck your way out of this," said Jared, voice hard. "I wouldn't let you go just because you let me fuck you."

He was getting sick of Midway always fucking propositioning him, like it'd get him out of the charges. Like somehow, Jared was so easily corruptible that he'd just turn the other way if Midway blew him. And he really hated it because he wanted it so fucking much, he was afraid he'd let Midway do it one of these days.

Midway looked at him for a long minute. "Jensen," he said finally.

Jared blinked. "What?"

Midway's gaze didn't waver. "My name's Jensen Ackles. I'm from Richardson, Texas. My social security number is--"

"What are you doing?"

"Book me," he said. "Book me, lock me up, do whatever you want. And after that's done? I'm still going to want to fuck you."

Jared bit his lip. "What?"

Midway--no, Jensen--no Ackles--kept looking up at Jared, looking like fucking sex, because he was a stripper and that was his job. His job was making Jared go crazy.

"I want you, Officer Padalecki."

Jared swallowed. "I have to check that name out," he said, voice hoarse.

"It's real," said Jensen, smiling a little. "I wouldn't lie to you."

"Why not?" asked Jared. He felt off balance, like his ears were full of water.

Jensen smiled more, soft and real and--holy Jesus fuck.

"Oh," said Jared.

*

Jared was just planning to stop by Tim Hortons for a quick cup of coffee and a sandwich or something, but as he was leaning back in his booth, resting his eyes for a second after his long night shift, he heard a familiar and totally unexpected voice.

"Mornin', Officer Padalecki."

Jared opened his eyes to see Jensen fucking Ackles with a pen behind his ear and a friendly, if distant, smile on his lips.

"Hi," said Jared dumbly. He hadn't busted Jensen for a week, had almost figured the dude skipped town, but here he was, waiting tables. "What are you doing?" he asked, like it wasn't obvious.

"Joined the unwashed masses," said Jensen. "I'm legit now." He looked like he might say more, but didn't. "What can I get you?"

Jared stammered out his order, watching Jensen nod as he wrote it down. "I'll be right back with your coffee," he said, and then he left. No flirting, no innuendo, nothing.

Jared watched him go, confused and horny and angry at himself for never taking Jensen up on this when he had the chance.

Jensen was completely normal throughout Jared's meal, so much so that Jared had to assume that Jensen's sex drive up and died when he stopped stripping. Jared polished off his sandwich and his coffee and stretched out, popping his neck. Being nocturnal still didn't completely suit him, and he was torn between exhaustion and punchy energy. It definitely wasn't his favorite combination.

He perked up a little as Jensen came over, and then perked up a lot as Jensen's features relaxed into his familiar sexy smirk.

"Can I fill you up?" Jensen asked, and it was the worst pickup line in the world, but Jared had been regretting letting Jensen go for a week, and jerking off thinking about him for fucking months, so it didn't take much.

Jared surged out of his seat, grabbed Jensen by the arm, and fucking dragged him into the bathroom, locking the door and shoving Jensen up against it in one fluid motion.

"Isn't this illegal?" asked Jensen, looking like Christmas had come early.

"Shut up," said Jared, and kissed him.

Only after did he wonder if maybe strippers didn't kiss people, but he barely had time to think about it before Jensen was kissing him back, hard and desperate and everything Jared had been fantasizing about for longer than he was willing to admit.

Jensen laughed a little at first, but it didn't last long--the laughs turned to moans and then into desperate noises. It was like Jensen couldn't get enough and didn't even know what he wanted; his hands were all over Jared, unbuttoning his shirt a little before skittering off to feel Jared's arms, his back. Jared didn't know what to do either, wanted everything at once. He settled for getting his hand directly into Jensen's pants, working the fly open and jerking Jensen off, slow and dirty.

Jensen was making needy noises into his neck, his hands stilling as Jared tugged harder, and it was the hottest thing Jared had ever seen. He couldn't help bumping the fingers of his other hand into Jensen's mouth, letting Jensen suck them, and finally trailing them down Jensen's back, pushing his jeans down and getting his fingers in the cleft of Jensen's ass.

"Jesus," said Jensen into his throat. "Fingering me in a public bathroom? You're pretty kinky."

"Next time I'll bring my handcuffs," said Jared, rubbing his fingers slowly around Jensen's entrance. He barely noticed his casual assumption that they'd be doing this again.

"Jesus," Jensen repeated, and then he was coming all over Jared's shirt, messy and amazing, a boneless pile slumped over Jared against the bathroom door.

He recovered after a second, dropped to his knees and pulled Jared's pants off in one smooth motion.

"Been thinking about this for a while," Jensen said, staring at Jared's cock with something like awe.

"Me too," Jared admitted. The smile that earned him wasn't smug or self-satisfied, just happy, like Jensen didn't know he was the hottest thing in the world, like he had no idea Jared would really want him.

Jared had to fight back the ridiculous urge to hug him or cuddle him or something, but only for a minute, because after that, Jensen's mouth was on his cock, sucking hard, and Jared couldn't really think anymore.

He threaded his hand in Jensen's hair, almost petting the short spikes, amazed at the softness of it.

"Mmm," said Jensen, humming around his cock, and then he pulled back long enough to say, "Jared," kind of amazed. Jared didn't even know Jensen knew his first name, and it's enough to have him coming all over Jensen's face, without even meaning to.

"God," he said, laughing a little as Jensen scrubbed the cum off his face with one hand.

He hauled Jensen up to make out a little more after that, the best reassurance he could give that yeah, this was something for him too. Something he thought about.

"So," Jensen said, pulling back, "I think my break's over."

Jared laughed.

"Can I call you sometime?" Jensen asked, looking a little shy as he cleaned himself up with toilet paper.

Jared grinned. "When do you get off?"

"You going to take me out to breakfast, Officer Padalecki?" asked Jensen.

"Jared," Jared corrected, wanting to hear it again.

"Jared," Jensen agreed, like he was tasting it.

"Yeah," said Jared. "I'm taking you out."

Jensen grinned and blushed. The guy took his clothes off for a living, but a date embarrassed him? God, Jared was already so far gone.

He didn't much mind.