(no subject)

[longsufferingly]

INSTEAD OF WRITING ANY OF THE SHIT I AM SUPPOSED TO WRITE, I WROTE THIS. I'm also working on other things, though, don't worry!

Transpacific Soulmates
RPF gen, G, Jensen, Jared, Ohno, and Nino. For phrenk!

As background, Ohno, of the Japanese boyband Arashi, likes to sneak off and go fishing and get REALLY TAN (or...really orange), against the wishes of his managers (who prefer him not orange). And then I saw Jensen Ackles at Rising Con and he looked KIND OF ORANGE and we decided he must have gone fishing with Ohno.


"I'm just saying," says Jared, "I'm sure there are plenty of guys in Vancouver who would be happy to be your fishing buddy."

"Yeah," Jensen shoots back, "but they don't understand."

Jared rolls his eyes. "Right, only whatsisface understands your epic man pain."

"Ohno," says Jensen absently.

"What? Lose your ticket."

"No, Ohno. That's his name."

Jared blinks. "Dude, his life must be one endless Who's On First joke."

Jensen glares at Jared. "He's Japanese. Also? You're a moron."

"Whatever, go see your fishing boyfriend. I'm not offended. I have better BFFs."

"No you don't," Jensen points out, and smiles when Jared waves his middle finger instead of saying goodbye.

*

Jensen admits that it's kind of sad to have to have an interpreter to go fishing, but Nishikawa is a very nice woman who seems to not mind standing there and translating the five words he and Ohno say to each other during their trips.

Jensen opens up with, "They're thinking about putting Dean in a cursed tanning bed," and enjoys the way it gets three times longer when Nishikawa turns it into Japanese.

"Because of your color?" Nishikawa asks, for Ohno.

The more Jensen fishes, the more tan he gets. Ohno has achieved this really impressive hue that, Jensen won't lie, he's kind of jealous of. He looks like he would glow faintly orange in the dark.

"Yeah." He snorts. "They used to want me to be tanner, and now they're saying it's too much."

"My managers try to stop me from fishing to keep me pale," says Ohno. "You can't let them rule your life."

"Jared tries to stop me from fishing," Jensen says thoughtfully. "But that's just because he's a dumbass."

"Ah," says Ohno, who sounds, even through the language barrier, like someone who's been there. "Like Ninomiya."

Jensen doesn't really know what that means, because he doesn't listen to a lot of Japanese boybands, even if he fishes with their leaders.

"Probably," Jensen agrees. "Like Ninomiya."

*

Jensen isn't entirely surprised when Sera calls him up the next week. "Jensen, why are the directors telling me you're orange?" she asks.

Jensen glances at Jared and regrets putting this call on speakerphone. Jared looks really smug.

"He is orange!" says Jared.

"Jared, why is he orange?"

"I can just leave if you're not going to involve me in this conversation," says Jensen.

"He's fishing with a Japanese boyband," says Jared.

"Not the whole boyband," Jensen protests. "Just the lead vocalist. I met him when we were doing meetings for the anime."

There's a long pause. "Jesus Christ, Jensen," Sera finally says. "This haunted tanning bed episode better do really well."

*

It does, of course. Jensen can act the shit out of anything. He and Ohno go fishing to celebrate, and somehow Jared and Ninomiya end up tagging along, which is the worst idea ever.

"This is awesome!" says Jared. He's running around with Ninomiya on his shoulders, while Jensen and Ohno desperately try to pretend they don't know them. "He's, like, pocket-sized!"

"We've created a monster," Jensen mutters.

"Yeah," agrees Ohno. He shrugs. "Maybe you can use it for a show too."

Jensen glances back at Jared and Ninomiya and snorts. "Yeah, forget Lucifer. There's our next big bad right there."