(no subject)

[longsufferingly]

So, for spn_j2_bigbang, I'm planning to write Supernatural, and am very excited about this! However, in my Tell Me What to Write post, flamingquill gave me a very tempting prompt which I totally wanted to write for not-Big-Bang. I'm sure someone will someday do an awesome and plotty treatment of Harry Potter featuring Jared and Jensen, but I am not that person, at least not today.

The Boy Who Was Kind of A Tool, All Things Considered
Jared/Jensen, Jared/others, PG, 3200 words. In which Jensen Ackles is the Boy Who Lived, Jeff Padalecki and Sandy McCoy are his BFFs, and Jared Padalecki is totally over him.


Jensen might not have had many--or any--friends growing up, but he still knows that you're not supposed to crush on your best friend's little sibling. He thinks that it's one of those instinctual things that everyone knows--little siblings are off-limits without express written permission, and asking for express written permission is also off-limits. In fact, mentioning in any way that you might, potentially, think your best friend's little brother is hot is completely verboten.

Which is why it's good that the first time he sees Jeff's little brother kissing Aldis Hodge, he's just with Sandy.

"What the hell!" he says, staring.

"What?" asks Sandy. She doesn't even look up from her book, which Jensen finds pretty annoying, given half the time when he's scared or upset, there's an evil wizard about to destroy them.

"Since when is Jared dating Aldis Hodge?"

"It's been about a week, I think," says Sandy absently.

"But--since when does Jared like guys?"

Now Sandy does look up, raising her eyebrows at him pointedly. "Jensen."

"What?"

"You remember second year? You know, when Jared followed you around like a lost puppy?"

"Yeah," says Jensen grudgingly. "But I figured it was just--I'm Jensen Ackles."

Sandy snorts. "Right, I forgot. You're so hot, sexual preferences fall beneath your glory."

"You know that's not what I meant," says Jensen, glaring at her. "Just, you know. He was a kid. Hero worship, or whatever." His eyes find their way back to Jared and Aldis. They're not kissing anymore, but their heads are bent together and they're giggling.

"You know," says Sandy, "you have absolutely no right to be upset about this."

"I'm not," says Jensen petulantly.

"Uh huh," says Sandy. "You turned him down," she adds.

"I did not."

"You might as well have. He moved on, and it would be a total asshole move to get interested in him now that he's finally over you."

"I just think Aldis is a jerk," mutters Jensen. He's never thought that before, but now he's sure that it must be true. "Jared could do better."

Sandy sighs and goes back to her book.

*

Somehow, Jensen's life suddenly seems to involve about fifty times more Jared Padalecki than it used to. He doesn't do anything differently--okay, he starts Manners' Army, but he didn't really expect that to involve so much Jared. But Jared's with them at lunch and in the common room and joins the Quidditch team and it's just a lot of Jared, all of sudden, out of nowhere.

Because, really, Jared's been kind of a non-entity for the last few years. There was the diary thing second year, okay, but back then Jared was this tiny little kid, scared and alone, and it was kind of like saving a kitten--yeah, Jensen felt good about himself, and it was kind of a rush to have Jared clinging to him, but there was no attraction, and Jared could have been anyone.

Sometime over the summer, though, Jared went through a growth spurt, and he's taller than Jensen. When he smiles (at fucking Aldis), he gets dimples in his cheeks. He is really, really cute.

"Hey, Jensen?" asks Jared. He's not shy around Jensen anymore either, which is disconcerting. He just gives Jensen a broad, friendly smile and a little wave to get his attention.

"Yeah?"

"I'm having a little trouble with this charm," says Jared, biting his lip. "Could you help me out?"

"Sure, yeah," says Jensen, feeling a little tongue-tied. He might also be wondering, in a purely academic, detached way, how it would feel to bite Jared's lip. "Uh, show me how you were doing it."

Jared demonstrates, and Jensen sees the problem instantly.

"It's your arm," says Jensen, "it's more of a--" he finds his hands on Jared's arm, showing him how to do the correct motion, but stutters when he feels Jared's muscles underneath his fingers, firm and solid. "More like this," he says, managing to make his hands do what he wants them to.

"So--" Jared tries again, and this time it works. Jared gives him a bright, sunny beam. "Thanks, Jensen! You're kind of awesome at this teaching thing, you know?"

Jensen flushes. "No problem."

He's over you, Jensen tells himself. He's over you, he's your best friend's little brother, and you're not interested in him. So stop right now.

Sandy is giving him a calculating look from across the room, and Jensen pointedly ignores her.

*

Jensen thought that no teacher would ever irrationally hate him as much as Professor Lehne hates him, but that was before he met Professor Ostroff. Ostroff is a even step beyond anything Jensen ever anticipated, because Lehne at least sticks with Manners-approved forms of punishment. Jensen is pretty sure what Ostroff does actually qualifies as torture.

He gets back to the common room late, which is a blessing, because he lost enough blood writing lines that he's actually feeling a little faint.

Of course, just his luck, Jared is still up, lounging on the couch, and he looks up when Jensen comes in.

"Shit," he says instantly. "Hey, are you--what happened?"

"Nothing," says Jensen firmly.

Jared snorts and gets up, crossing the room to see Jensen. Jensen has to look up to meet his eyes.

"Bullshit," says Jared softly, and immediately reaches down for Jensen's right hand. "The blood quill, right?"

"How'd you--"

Jared gives him a crooked smile. "Apparently, I'm thick-headed. Really takes a while for things to sink in."

Jensen swallows. It's completely irrational, how much angrier he is that Jared underwent this punishment than he is about himself. "You okay?"

Jared snorts. "God, you're such a goody-goody. You really should worry about yourself sometimes. Come on, sit down. I came up with a good soothing potion for mine."

Jensen allows Jared to drag him over to the couch. It's late and he's tried, so he just sits and watches as Jared putters around. "How's Aldis?" he finally asks, because he's too tired to remember how awful an idea it is.

Jared shoots him an amused look. "We broke up."

"Oh," says Jensen blankly. "Why?"

Jared shrugs. "It wasn't working out. You did break up with Danneel last year, you know how this works."

"I broke up with Danneel because I don't like girls," says Jensen, before he can think better of it.

Jared's eyes widen. "What?"

Jensen shrugs awkwardly as Jared brings the bowl over. "I didn't want to make a big deal." He smiles ruefully. "The Slytherins'd probably just think I wanted attention."

"Yeah, but--" the I'm not a Slytherin is as clear as if Jared had finished his thought. "Here, let it soak," says Jared. Jensen puts his hand into the potion and feels the relief instantly.

"I just--I'm sorry," says Jensen. He glances up at Jared. "It's not like you ever told me," he points out.

Jared snorts self-deprecatingly. "I figured it was obvious enough without me telling you."

Jensen swallows. "Jared--"

Jared gets up, brushes his hands against his robes. "I better get to bed. Leave your hand in there for about ten minutes, you should feel a lot better."

"Yeah," says Jensen. He catches Jared's sleeve with his free hand. "Hey. Thanks."

Jared smiles softly. "Least I could do."

Jensen watches him go, and then wonders why he's such a fucking idiot.

*

"Do you think Sandy likes Riley?" asks Jeff, narrowing his eyes at the two of them talking in the library.

"Do you remember when we talked about things that weren't relationships?" asks Jensen grouchily. He hasn't spoken to Jared since that night in the common room, and it's not improving his mood.

"Ah, yes," says Jeff, leaning back. "I call it 'pre-puberty.' Those were the days."

"There's just a lot more going on than just you flipping out every time Sandy talks to anyone."

"I'm not flipping out," says Jeff. "I'm just curious."

"I think if Sandy had a boyfriend, she'd tell us," says Jensen reasonably.

"Yeah, well, since Jared never tells me anything, I'm losing faith."

"What is Jared not telling you?" Jensen asks, as casually as he can.

"He's dating Tom Welling now, I guess."

"The Hufflepuff?" asks Jensen. "Isn't he a seventh-year?"

"Yeah," says Jeff darkly.

"Wow."

"So. You still think Sandy isn't dating Riley?"

"I think you're an idiot," says Jensen. "What did you write for your essay?"

Jeff shoves his parchment over and keeps shooting daggers at Sandy and Riley.

Jensen wonders if there's some kind of spell that reverses puberty. It would really save them all a lot of headaches.

*

Jared breaks up with Tom after a few weeks and starts dating Taylor Kitsch, and then breaks up with Taylor and goes for Misha Collins from Ravenclaw (although, to be fair, given how crazy Misha is, Jensen is not totally sure that they're dating, they might just be trying to harness their chi or something). Jensen is pretty sure that if this keeps up, he'll date every remotely gay guy in Hogwarts by the end of the year.

Except for Jensen, of course.

Because Jared is over Jensen.

*

"Fuck, fuck, fuck," Jensen hears, and glances up from the couch to see Jared staggering in. It's late, and Jensen would be up in bed, except that he was talking to his godfather, Jeffery, in the fireplace, and stayed up to get a little homework done.

"Jared?" he asks. Jared's cradling his arm, and it looks bad. "Shit, was that Ostroff?"

Jared laughs. "Not directly. Helping--" he winces and Jensen's fingers find what feels worryingly like a break. "Helping Megan and Mackenzie hex her hallway. Spell went rogue."

"And they didn't help?" asks Jensen.

"I told them not to," says Jared. "It's a good cause, and I'm really happy to get injured serving it. But the medical wing's closed and I figure if I go now, it'll just be suspicious."

"Fuck, Jared," says Jensen. He lets out a harsh breath. "You are really lucky I've been practicing healing magic for the next MA meeting."

He murmurs a few words and feels really relieved when Jared starts to breath easier. He gingerly touches Jared's arm, feeling a rush of pride when he can't feel the break anymore.

He looks up, grinning, and realizes that Jared's face is awfully close to his, and it would only take a small movement to--

"Thanks," says Jared thickly.

"Yeah," Jensen breathes. "No problem."

*

Jensen is daydreaming in Potions, which is a monumentally bad idea, because Lehne hates him enough without having the excuse of Jensen actually not paying attention. Plus, Weatherly is in this class, and Weatherly is always bad news.

But Jensen can't stop thinking about Jared.

"Mr. Ackles," says Lehne, pulling Jensen out of his memory of Jared's uneven teeth. "Would you care to enlighten us?"

Busted, of course. He catches Gabe's eye across the room, and Gabe mouths, "Wormwood."

"Wormwood," says Jensen, with as much confidence as he can. Gabe's not the best at potions, but he doesn't have much else to go on.

From the annoyed look Lehne shoots up, Jensen is sure it's the right answer.

"Correct," he says, whipping around to see who could have clued Jensen in. He breathes out a sigh of relief. "And," says Lehne, turning back to him slowly and leaning over his desk, "how do we use the wormwood, Mr. Ackles?"

Shit, Jensen thinks. "Chopped," he says, because Lehne's body is blocking his view of anyone.

Lehne snorts. "Clearly, fame isn't everything," he says. Jensen wonders how, after five years, Lehne hasn't gotten tired of this whole thing. It can't be that interesting to rag on Jensen for being the Boy Who Lived so much. He needs a hobby.

Jensen zones out during Lehne's tirade, and isn't much surprised when points are taken from Gryffindor for his failure. He'll get them back.

He is surprised when a note lands on his parchment, and he opens it surreptitiously.

I know what's up with you, it says, in Sandy's neat, small script. We need to talk.

Jensen wonders how long he can avoid his best friend.

*

As it turns out, he only manages to avoid Sandy for five minutes after Potions ends before she drags him down a hallway and says, "Why are you so stupid?"

"What?"

"Why couldn't you have just realized Jared's perfect for you second year and saved him all that angst?"

"What?" Jensen asks again.

"You like Jared."

"Well, yeah, I like Jeff's whole--"

"Jensen," says Sandy. "Please stop pretending that everyone else in the world is an idiot."

Jensen slumps back. "I don't think you're an idiot," he says. "I just think Jeff doesn't want me to date his little brother."

"I think Jeff would like you more than anyone else Jared is dating. And it's not really up to Jeff."

"It's up to Jared," says Jensen flatly. "And Jared's over me."

Sandy smiles, like Jensen is the stupidest person she has ever met in her life. "You're Jensen Ackles," he says. "He's never going to get over you."

"But--"

"Trust me. This is yours to fuck up."

*

"Is your brother dating anyone right now?" Jensen asks Jeff.

Jeff snorts. "Now who's obsessing about relationships? I want to talk about how fucking nuts Ostroff is."

"Seriously," says Jensen.

"Seriously? I have no idea if Jared is dating anyone right now. What do you care? You're the one who's all about the mission and You-Know-Who and the MA--"

"I know!" says Jensen, too loudly. The librarian shoots him a look. He groans. "I know," he says again. "That's why I--" he takes a deep breath. "Look, even with all that? I can't stop thinking about your brother."

"You're that worried about my brother's love life? Look, I know he's not exactly making good dating decisions, but he'll be fine. He's tough. He--"

"I want to date Jared," says Jensen in a rush.

Jeff stares. "Jared? Like, my little brother, Jared?"

"Like the guy we've been talking about this whole time, yeah." Jensen breathes out. "Look, if you don't want me to, I get it, and you're my best friend, but I really, really like him."

Jeff keeps staring for a long minute. Jensen is a little afraid that Jeff's brain is permanently broken. How sad would it be if he had to go to St. Mungo's just because his best friend has a crush on his little brother?

Finally, Jeff says, "Better you than Tom Fucking Welling."

Jensen beams. "No kidding."

*

As it turns out, having Jeff's blessing and Sandy's reassurance doesn't make Jensen magically not nervous. He's jittery and can't figure out how to even start a conversation with Jared, what to say, what to ask, and he's still half afraid that, even if Jeff doesn't kill him, one of Jared's thousand other siblings will.

He mucks through four days of Lehne's detention--scrubbing all the awards in the great hall, no magic, and by the time he finishes on the last day, he's tired and grumpy and just wants to curl up in a ball and died.

So naturally, when he gets back, the first thing he sees is Jared kissing Ryan Hansen in the common room.

Ryan hears Jensen, jumps back, and says, "Dude, I'm not gay." Jared snorts, and Ryan glares at him. "I gotta go."

Jensen wonders if he has the energy to kick Ryan's ass, but finds he doesn't. Instead, he just manages to lurch over to the couch and pretty much fall down next to Jared.

"We have got to stop meeting like this," says Jared.

"I don't mind it when you're not making out with Ryan," says Jensen to the cushions.

"He started it," says Jared. "I was an innocent bystander."

"But he's not gay," says Jensen, turning over to look at Jared.

Jared smiles wryly. "I must just be that irresistible. People can't control themselves." It sounds a little sad, when he says it.

"I should have just not been an idiot and asked you out second year," says Jensen, without totally meaning to. "But I think everyone's an idiot when they're twelve."

Jared looks down at him evenly. "Jensen."

"Is there any way I can kiss you from this position without moving?" asks Jensen. "Because I really want to kiss you, but I don't think I can get up."

Jared laughs softly. "You know, when I imagined this, it was more romantic."

"When I imagined it, I could move my arms," says Jensen. "It's not really going how anyone planned."

Jared laughs. He leans down and kisses Jensen, very lightly, on the lips. "Do you need help getting upstairs?"

"Or more kissing," says Jensen. "How about more kissing?"

"How about ask me again when you're not a sad little heap of patheticness," says Jared, helping Jensen off the couch.

"I'm getting tired of waiting."

"Dude, you can't even begin to complain to me about waiting," says Jared, which Jensen has to admit is a fair point.

"Fine," says Jensen, but he leans over and kisses Jared one more time before he staggers into his room. "See you tomorrow?"

Jared gives him a blinding grin. "Tomorrow," he agrees.

*

Jensen oversleeps the next morning, which isn't a big surprise, but feels a lot better for it. He's still achy, but he's no longer exhausted, and he gets dressed and runs down to the great hall in record time. Jared's sitting across from Sandy and Jeff, laughing and joking, and Jensen figures he might as well just go for it, because he's pretty sure Jared won't mind.

"Morning," he says, sliding in close to Jared.

"Morning," says Jeff, looking amused. "You sleep like the dead."

"Detention with Lehne last night," says Katie Cassidy, from Sandy's other side. "Must have been killer."

"Pretty bad," Jensen agrees. Jared is kind of rigid against his side, and Jensen looks up at him. "Hey, Jared."

"Hey," says Jared, and as soon as he meets Jensen's eyes, Jensen kisses him.

Jared is grinning when Jensen pulls back. "Morning to you too," he says, flushing belatedly and ducking his head, as if he just remembered they have an audience.

"Okay," says Jeff, "I knew I said it was okay if you went out with my little brother, but can you not do it right in front of me when I'm eating? That's weird."

Jared looks delighted. "Dude, you gave us your blessing? That's so sweet! You never gave me your blessing before."

"That's because you never wanted to date anyone who wasn't a tool before," says Jeff petulantly.

"But now I've got Jensen Ackles, the Boy Who Lived."

"He's still kind of a tool," says Jeff.

"Yeah," Jared agrees, and Jensen is about to object, but Jared looks so happy that Jensen finds himself unable to summon the words. "But I think I'll keep him."

Later, Ostroff takes twenty points from Gryffindor for Jensens's "excessive good cheer," Lehne tells him that the Slytherin cups are not sufficiently shiny, despite his best efforts, and he manages to fly into a goalpost during Quidditch practice because he's too busy mooning over Jared, but none of that actually manages to dampen Jensen's mood. Because this is totally the best day ever.