longsufferingly: (harts harts harts)
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So, my friend [livejournal.com profile] tatooine made a post about Percy Jackson fandom and how she hoped they never started writing RPS about Jake Abel and Logan Lerman (BEST NAME EVER). Naturally, I had to explain to her that, being as he was on Supernatural, Jake Abel would never be able to escape from RPS. Then she showed me this picture, to which I replied, "AS A SPECIAL PRESENT TO YOU, I WILL AVOID WRITING RPS ABOUT THEM FOR AS LONG AS I AM PHYSICALLY CAPABLE"

According to timestamps, "as long as I am physically capable" works out to twenty-one minutes.


As a veteran of Supernatural, Jake Abel was very familiar with ass-sex, and how "costar" often meant less "person who you're in a movie with" and more "person you're going to have tons of hot monkey sex with."

Unfortunately, Logan didn't seem to be aware of this.

Luckily, Jake was an excellent teacher.


1.

"Hey, Logan, are you familiar with the myth of Ganymede?"

Logan glanced up. "That's the one where the guy has sex with a duck, right?"

"Uh," says Jake. "Close."

"Greeks were into some freaky shit, dude," says Logan, and goes back to his Nintendo DS.


2.

"How about Achilles and Patroclus?"

"Achilles was Brad Pitt, right?" Logan clucked his tongue. "And Patroclus was his cousin--"

"That was kind of lost in translation to the big screen."

"Was he Legolas?"

"No," said Jake.

"Hulk?"

"Nevermind," said Jake.


3.

"So, Theseus."

"The labyrinth guy," said Logan. He beamed. "Hey, man, it's really cool you're helping me out with this myth stuff. I'm not great at it."

"That's exactly what I'm doing," Jake agreed, through gritted teeth. "So, you know about Theseus in the underworld?"

"Yeah!" said Logan. "His wife died and he went to the Underworld and tried to save her, but he wasn't allowed to turn around, and he did, so she couldn't come back."

He looked so proud of himself, Jake barely even wanted to go and bang his head against the wall.


4.

"Have you ever read any of the poetry of Catullus?"

Logan stared blankly.

Jake sighed. "Yeah, okay, that was a long-shot."


5.

"So, sometimes people are gay," said Jake.

Logan blinked. "Yup."

"Yeah," said Jake. "Okay. Good talk."
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