(no subject)

[longsufferingly]

Time Is On My Side
Jensen the day after Everything Feels Like the End of the World. 1750 words, PG, no warnings.


"What the hell happened to you?" asks Maria.

Jensen glances over. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"I mean, it's nine a.m., McCallister wants you to make tests with, like, no prep time, and you look like cartoon birds are gonna perch on you any minute."

"I'm not allowed to be in a good mood?" Jensen asks, trying to tone it down. He's not trying to look happy. His face is just coming out that way, apparently.

"This is freakish," she says. "You look like Carl."

Carl is the most freakishly happy person Jensen has ever met. It's like he looked up "gay" in the dictionary and decided he had to embody all meanings of it at all times. Jensen is pretty terrified of him, in all honesty.

"Did Mack suddenly get way better at sex or something? Because I'd say that looks like getting laid happy, but I've never seen you that happy."

Jensen blushes. "If we could not talk about my sex life, that would be great."

"And he and Mack broke up," says Oliver.

"Wait, what?" Maria glares at him. "When? How did you know?"

"He changed his facebook relationship status," says Oliver. "Last week."

"You stalking me?" asks Jensen, trying to sound casual.

"It's in my news feed."

"So you did get laid," says Maria. "You've got some new guy!"

"It's not some new guy," Jensen protests. Jared is so far from being "some new guy."

"But it's someone," says Oliver.

"Can we just not talk about this?"

"I think it's cute how you can't really stop being happy long enough to get pissed," says Maria.

"I am so pissed," Jensen grumbles half-heartedly, but Jared's just e-mailed him back with, just tell me when and where, so he can't actually keep it up at all.

*

Jensen figures that dinner and a movie is a classic date, and that take-out and a DVD in his apartment is a perfectly valid variation. Mostly because he wants to cuddle his (probably) boyfriend on the couch and make out and spill all over themselves.

It's honestly weird for Jensen to be so excited about someone. Not that he's usually unexcited, but he just--hasn't liked someone in a while. Not like this.

His phone rings and he picks it up without thinking, hoping it isn't Jared calling to say he has to cancel or something.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Jensen, it's Mack."

Jensen swallows. They didn't have a bad breakup. They'd pretty much started dating because all their friends had people, and it got to the point where Jensen just didn't like having to go to things alone. They started dating for convenience, and it was fine, but neither of them had thought it was forever.

And then Jared happened, and Jensen had realized how much Mack wasn't what he wanted. The breakup hadn't come as a surprise--possibly because Jensen hadn't actually fucked Mack since Jared showed up. He wasn't really good at being with one person and thinking about someone else, and he couldn't get Jared out of his head.

"Hey," he says, running a hand through his hair. "What's up, man?"

"I was trying to find my black Club Monaco shirt for, like, an hour last night and I finally decided I must have left it at your place," says Mack. "I wanted to swing by and pick it up later tonight."

Jensen freezes. "Uh. Tonight?"

Mack laughs. "What, got a hot date coming over?"

Jensen should laugh it off, but he waits too long, and Mack notices.

"Wait, seriously?"

"Um."

"You've got a date? Jesus, it's barely been a week!"

"It's not--" Jensen sighs. "Yes, I have a date, okay? Do you want me to apologize here?"

"No, no, whatever," says Mack. "None of my business, right?"

"I didn't mean it like that." He sighs again. "Look, I don't--what do you want me to say?"

"I got to know you a little, you know," says Mack.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"There's no way you met a guy in a week," says Mack. "You wouldn't go on a date with me until we'd gone out platonically a few times."

Jensen rubs his forehead. "Mack--"

"Did you cheat on me?"

"No! Jesus Christ, Mack."

There's a pause. "Oh hell, it's that guy."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"The guy from high school."

"Yeah," says Jensen, the fight going out of him all at once. "I thought--I just figured it'd be better for you if you didn't know." He tries to figure out the right way to say it--you never had a chance is truer than he'd like, but it's not what he wants to say. "It wasn't about you."

"Great," says Mack flatly.

"That's not--okay, I give up. I'm sorry, and I was trying my best to not hurt you, and I did. So, yeah. I'm sorry."

"When's your date?" says Mack finally.

"Seven," says Jensen. Jared said he probably wouldn't make it until seven-thirty, but he doesn't really trust Mack to not make a scene.

"I'll be by at six-thirty for my shirt," says Mack, and hangs up.

"Fuck," Jensen mutters.

*

At six-forty-five, the doorbell rings. Jensen's apartment is clean, Mack's shirt is out and folded, and he has a pile of DVDs he and Jared can watch and a list of places they can order food from.

He buzzes Mack up and braces himself, because--he didn't exactly do anything wrong. He broke up with a guy he wasn't in love with who wasn't in love with him, and, after a week, asked out another guy, who he definitely is in love with. Distressingly in love with, given how long it's been, but whatever. It's not a good situation in general, but he did his best. He's fucking trying to be a good person here.

He opens the door at the knock and deflates as soon as he sees it's Jared.

"Hey!" says Jared, huge grin and looking so fucking happy to see him. He leans down and kisses Jensen, and it's--well. Yeah. Awkward ex or not, Jensen has absolutely no regrets. "I got off early," says Jared, grinning. "Pat was around anyway, and apparently I looked about ready to jump out of my skin, so she told me to just get going. Sorry I didn't call, my phone died on the train."

Jensen shakes his head. "I don't mind. But, uh--bad news."

"What?" asks Jared.

"My ex is coming by. He was supposed to already be by, but I think he wants to crash our date."

Jared raises his eyebrows. "Uh--"

"He's picking up a shirt. And I--never mind. I accidentally told him."

"And he's not happy?"

"Not really," says Jensen. "But whatever. I was thinking takeout and DVDs. Sound good?"

Jared nods. "Yeah, great. Just let me--" and he leans down and kisses Jensen again, and it's a long time before that stops.

*

They're curled up on the couch watching The Daily Show when the doorbell goes again.

"Fifty percent chance it's food," says Jared.

"Yeah, I bet," Jensen grumbles, pulling himself off the couch.

"You want me to hide in the bedroom?" Jared asks, following him up.

In college, Jensen had this friend Ben. They flirted for years, both went through boyfriends (and girlfriends, in Ben's case) and finally hooked up senior year. But Ben had this thing--Jensen thinks because they spent so long not dating--where he got really, really jealous. It was kind of cute, but mostly not, because Jensen couldn't talk to any of his exes (most of whom he still liked) without Ben getting all caveman, and it drove him nuts.

It's so weird to have Jared--because Jensen probably hasn't straight-up liked anyone like he likes Jared since Ben--looking so concerned and earnest, like all he cares about is making this as painless for him as possible.

"Nah," says Jensen. "I told him to come like half an hour ago, so if he's here, it's cuz he wants to see you."

"I'm bigger than him, right?" says Jared.

Jensen raises his eyebrows. "You're bigger than some countries, dude."

Jared makes a muscle, clearly as a joke, but it falls flat because the guy's ripped. Jensen still remembers the scrawny kid from high school, and wonders what the hell gym he started going to.

It is Mack, of course. Mack is an attractive guy--dark hair, pale blue eyes, and he's always put together. He's a lawyer, so he wears a lot of suits and is hyper-aware of how people see him. Objectively, he's probably better-looking than Jared, but he's never really been Jensen's type. He's just been good enough.

"Here's your shirt," says Jensen flatly.

"Not even going to introduce me?"

"You weren't even supposed to be here at the same time," Jensen points out, but Jared comes up behind him and puts his hand on Jensen's side, just barely brushing against him, and gives him a smile when he turns.

"Hey, you must be Mack. Nice to meet you," says Jared, turning his smile on Mack effortlessly, somehow keeping it genuine and warm. "I'm Jared."

Mack looks a little surprised, but he's been raised too well, to not shake the hand Jared offers. "Nice to meet you," he says, like for once he doesn't know his lines.

Jensen doesn't know his either, but he feels better with Jared next to him, even not touching. "We're actually waiting on Chinese."

"You could stick around," says Jared, and Jensen kind of wants to punch him, "but we didn't really get enough."

They got enough to feed an army, but Jared is actually an army, so it's not a lie.

"Yeah," says Mack. He takes his shirt and says, "Thanks," absently.

He leaves looking confused, like he isn't entirely sure what just happened.

Jensen doesn't know either.

"Do you have mind powers or something?"

Jared shrugs, grins. "Sometimes if someone's spoiling for a fight, you just have to not give it to them."

"Uh huh," says Jensen. He slants a look at Jared. "Nope, I'm going with mind powers."

Jared laughs. "Whatever, have it your way." He tilts his head toward the couch. "We were gonna watch something."

"Right," says Jensen. And he thinks--it is not possible to fall this quickly. It is too early to be in love.

But then he remembers Jared at fourteen, all angles and nervous smiles and flushing, and it feels like he's been here forever.