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longsufferinglyPart of what I loved about doing that college AU was that thinking up titles was FUN. Because I just went to someecards and dicked around until I found one that made me laugh a lot and sort of fit. Now what I do for titles is browse through Winamp until I get something I don't hate. And I fucking love me some Bob Dylan. Anyway!
I spent all day today watching Freaks and Geeks (tiny Sweets!). And that inspired me to write a high school AU. It's not actually based on Freaks and Geeks, but it borrows some things that were happening when I started it. And is mostly just. There. I dunno. It is happening. Right now. As we speak.
Title: Someday Everything Is Gonna Be Smooth Like a Rhapsody
Author:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
chash
Fandom: Supernatural RPS
Pairing: Jared Padalecki/Jensen Ackles, Jensen Ackles/Jeffrey Dean Morgan (one-sided).
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Real person fiction, high school AU.
Word Count: ~3,300 words
Summary: Jensen just wants to get into college, graduate, and get the hell out of Dodge. He also wouldn't mind if he got laid and Jared stopped being a mopey bitch, but whatever.
Disclaimer: Lies and untruths.
For the most part, Jensen likes being smart. He tries not to broadcast it too much, but it's convenient, you know? His friends hate studying and love partying, and their grades pretty much all suck. And Jensen, he doesn't want to be stuck in this crappy town forever, living with his parents and working at the 7-11 like Jared's brother Jeff. He wants to get out of Texas, and good grades are the best thing he can think of to do it.
But yeah, if he wants to keep hanging out with Morgan and Tommy and Rosey, he doesn't have time to do all his homework or go to all his classes. He drives his teachers nuts, he knows--ninth grade, they all decided he must be cheating somehow, and every test he got questioned for hours. His hair was blue then, which probably didn't help, and Rosey had just talked him into piercing his nose, so everybody thought he must be a burnout. And he is a burnout, yeah, but he's a fucking smart burnout.
Anyway, Jensen never talks in class--doesn't go to class half the time--so he figures only the teachers actually know he's got a brain in his head.
But then Morgan says, "Hey, Jen, need your help."
See, when Jeffrey Dean Morgan says jump, Jensen doesn't say "how high," but he kind of tries to guess how high Morgan wants him to jump and does it. While grumbling a little, to make sure Morgan doesn't know. Because Morgan, Morgan's pretty hot. Everyone thinks Morgan's hot. Jared said it was that bad-boy thing, where all the girls like the guys who are going to treat them like shit, and Jensen shoved him and said he wasn't a girl.
Jensen tries not to think about what Jared would say about this, though; Jared likes Morgan fine, but they're not friends friends. And Jared thinks Jensen's thing for Morgan is stupid, so he'd seriously disapprove of Jensen's heart skipping a beat when Morgan's attention is all focused on him like that, asking him for help.
"Yeah? What's up?" asks Jensen, going for casual.
"Biology."
"Biology?" asks Jensen. It kind of could be a pickup line, and Jensen is absolutely not getting his hopes up. Morgan doesn't even like guys that much--he goes with guys sometimes, but it's never anything more than a drunk handjob. And it's not like Jensen wants to marry Morgan or anything like that, he just--it's Morgan.
"I got a test coming up, man, and I'm gonna fail it. Manners said you aced that class last year. And seriously, Jen, you took bio fucking last year?"
"Yeah, uh. I dunno, man, they just put me in there," he says, scratching the back of his head. "What, you want me to tutor you?"
"No way, man, I want you to give me your old tests. I heard Manners never changes them."
And that's--not what Jensen was expecting, really. He's not sure what he was expecting, but that's the kind of shit that lasts, if anyone finds out. And it's the kind of shit that brings back all those fucking stupid accusations that Jensen is a cheater, and it's not the kind of guy he is. He's a lot of things, he's fucking loyal to his friends, but he's not dumb.
But it's Morgan, Morgan smiling at him and giving him the charming look, and Jensen's only human.
"Yeah, man, I'll take a look, see if I've got 'em."
"Thanks, Jen," says Jeff, clapping him on the shoulder and grinning, somehow, even more.
Jensen's fucked.
*
"You're fucked," agrees Jared. "I can't even fucking believe Morgan asked you that."
"Yeah, you can," says Jensen. "You hate Morgan."
"I don't hate Morgan," says Jared. "I just don't think the dude shits rainbows like you do."
"Shits rainbows?" asks Jensen. "How is shitting rainbows good?"
"I don't know," says Jared waving his hand. "I just--Morgan's not all that, Jensen. He's sure as fuck not worth getting suspended for."
"I'm not getting suspended for him," says Jensen. "I just tell him I can't find 'em. No harm, no foul. It's fine."
Jared leans back on the bench, looking up. "You're better than this shit, you know that, man?"
"Better than you, loser? Trust me, I know," says Jensen with a smirk.
Jared shakes his head, though, doesn't take the bait. "I'm serious, Jensen. You're smart. You're awesome. You don't need to hang out with shitheads like us."
"You're not a shithead," says Jensen.
"I kind of am. Me and Jeff, man. 7-11 forever."
"Seriously, Jare. You're not stupid."
"I'm not smart like you. I gotta study to get good grades."
Jensen glances over. Jared, he's been Jensen's friend since birth, pretty much--their dads work together, and they're the same age, so they've pretty much always been together. Even before they fell in with Morgan and the rest of them, it was Jensen and Jared. And Jared's kind of Jensen's responsibility. Jensen's only a few months older, but...it matters to him.
"I'm not doing it, you know," says Jensen. "Don't care what he says to me."
"This time," mutters Jared.
"Jare," says Jensen. "Leave it, okay."
"I just don't want Morgan to break your stupid heart. Cuz I'm the one who has to deal with that shit," says Jared, going for light, but kind of failing at it. He's looking at Jensen like maybe he thinks Jensen's heart already got broken. Or something like that.
"I'm not a girl," Jensen says.
"You're my best friend," says Jared. "And you're a fucking girl," he adds, grinning.
Jensen gives him the finger, and the weirdness passes.
*
"Couldn't find any old tests," says Jensen easily. It's even true--he's fucked if he knows where that shit is. He doesn't even know he's got them. He doesn't keep track of stuff after the class is over.
Morgan looks at him for a long time. "Yeah?"
"Yeah."
"Man, I'm fucked," says Morgan, laughing.
"It's one test, man," Jensen points out. "You're not gonna die or anything."
"Come on, Jen, throw me a fucking bone."
"What do you want me to do?"
"Cheat sheet," says Morgan, grinning.
Jensen groans. "Dude, you've got the internet, right? You don't need me for this."
"Come on, Jen," says Morgan, leaning close and grinning, and Jensen swallows.
He really, really can't tell Jared about this.
*
"So are you a genius?" asks Rosey.
Jensen flips him off. "Fuck you."
"Seriously, Morgan says you're fucking scary smart."
"Morgan's full of shit," says Jensen easily.
"You're not flunking any classes, right?" asks Tommy.
"Neither am I, and I'm a dumbass," says Jared. He's got his head in Jensen's lap, and Jensen's absently petting his hair. Jared has awesome hair.
"You study," says Rosey. "Nerd."
"Yeah, well, I don't want to look at your ugly face my whole fucking life," says Jared.
"Just Jensen's ugly face?" asks Tommy.
"Hey, I'm beautiful," says Jensen, but Jared's weirdly stiff under him, and he's kind of concerned.
"You're the fucking prettiest princess, Ackles," says Morgan.
Jensen doesn't blush. He really hopes he doesn't. Because Jared is wrong, and Jensen isn't a girl. "Damn straight," is what he says.
"Or, you know, not," says Rosey.
Jensen flips him off.
"You do that so much I'm surprised your finger doesn't get cramps," says Morgan.
"Jen's fingers get a lot of exercise," says Rosey.
"Fuck you all," says Jensen.
Jared's still tense beneath him, awkward and unhappy, and Jensen just keeps stroking his hair, wishing he knew what the fuck was wrong.
*
Really, Jared's been acting kind of weird for a while. Jensen thinks maybe it's that it's their junior year--all his classes are getting more intense and everyone spends all their time talking about college. Jensen's been kind of distracted, too--Morgan and Rosey and Tommy are all a year older than them, and they're graduating soon, and Jensen's pretty much decided he's going to fuck Morgan before graduation. Because god knows he needs some sort of time line for this stupid crush.
So he maybe hasn't been keeping as good track of Jared as he should; Jared's his best friend, after all, and he should be taking care of him all the time, but there's a lot going on. Jensen's busy. Whatever.
Still, it's bracing when Murray comes over and reams him out for it.
"Hey, fuckhead!" says Murray. Jensen can never tell, with Murray, if this means he's pissed or what--"fuckhead" is sometimes a term of affection for that guy. He calls Jared that, and the kid fucking worships Jared.
"What do you want, Murray?"
"I want you to take care of your boy, asswipe."
"Language, Mr. Murray," says Ms. Gamble, looking pissed off.
"My bad, ma'am," says Murray.
"I take care of Jared fine," says Jensen. "What's it to you?"
"He's being a mopey little bitch. That's your bad, Ackles."
"How is that my fault?"
"Dude, he just gets mopey when he thinks you're breaking up with him."
"Fuck you," says Jensen.
"Mr. Ackles!" says Ms. Gamble.
"Sorry!" says Jensen, waving.
By the time he's looking back at Murray, the fucker's gone.
*
"So Jen," says Morgan at lunch, a week before Christmas break. "I've got midterms. Bio. Need your help."
"Man, I told you, Morgan, I lost those tests. And I already did your cheat sheet."
"Dude, I want you to tutor me."
Jensen blinks. "Seriously?"
"Seriously. It's my senior year, Jen. I don't want to get held back fucking now."
"Oh, uh, yeah. I guess I could do that."
"Sweet," says Morgan. "I fucking owe you, man."
*
"That's gotta be good for a blowjob, right?" asks Jensen.
"Giving or getting?" asks Jared.
"Fuck, man, I don't even care," says Jensen. "I'll take what I can get."
"Needy isn't a good look for you, Jensen," says Jared, sighing. "You're really tutoring him?"
"I guess so. It's not like I could say no, right?"
"Yeah, you could," says Jared, harshly. "You just don't. Not with Morgan."
"I'd help you too, you spaz."
"Yeah, whatever," says Jared. "Have fun with your study buddy."
And then he leaves.
Jensen blinks after him.
Maybe Murray was right.
*
"You notice anything up with Jared?" he asks Morgan. Morgan's kind of scratching his head at the study sheet Jensen gave him, and Jensen really should be paying attention to that, but he's worried.
"Padalecki? I don't know. You stop putting out?"
Jensen scoffs. "Maybe Sandy did."
"Sandy McCoy?"
"Yeah. They're dating."
"Jen, she's practically engaged to Justin Hartley."
Jensen blinks. "He told me they were going out."
"That's between you and him, man. Honestly, I thought you guys had a thing."
"Me and Jared?" asks Jensen.
"Padalecki doesn't drape all over me, Jen," Morgan points out.
"Jared doesn't like you that much," mutters Jensen.
"Padalecki doesn't like anybody enough to drape all over them all the fucking time. Nobody except you."
Jensen swallows. It's stupid. He and Jared are best friends. That's why they hang out all the time and Jared sometimes snuggles with him a little. It's all pretty much platonic.
"We're not dating," says Jensen finally, realizing it's been an awkwardly long time.
Morgan shrugs. "Maybe that's why he's pissed off."
And that would actually make sense, is the crazy thing. If Jared liked Jensen, then...
"Shit," says Jensen. "I'm going to kill that little fucker."
"He's kind of a giant fucker," says Morgan. "Dude's huge."
"I gotta go," says Jensen.
"Yeah, whatever. You're still tutoring me later, queer."
Jensen gives him the finger.
*
"Are you in love with me, asshole?"
Jared blinks. Okay, so it's possible that busting into Jared's room and asking about love out of the blue wasn't Jensen's best option, but for fucking serious, they're best friends. Jared isn't supposed to just not tell him shit like this.
"Hi, Jensen, nice to see you too," says Jared, sitting up on his bed. He runs his hand through his hair. "What?"
"So Murray's pissed at me for not treating you right and fucking Morgan thinks we're dating and you've been being a mopey bitch all year, so I'm think maybe everyone's right and you've got a thing for me. And you just didn't tell me, which, seriously, thanks, dickhead."
"Christ, I don't--" Jared runs his hands through his hair again, which he fucking always does when he's lying; it's his tell in poker, too. Jared can't keep his hands off his hair when he's straight-up lying. "Just tell Morgan he's wrong, maybe he'll go out with you then."
Jensen stalks closer to the bed, closer to Jared. "I don't think he's wrong."
Jared laughs, but it's not really a believable laugh. "Yeah, Jensen, I'm secretly pining away for you."
He doesn't touch his hair.
And Jensen hadn't quite gotten to this part in his head, actually. He'd gotten to wanting to ream Jared the fuck out for not telling him the truth, but he hadn't gone past that. And guilt hits him a sudden wave, because Jared--Jared likes him, and Jensen's spent his whole life crushing on other people and telling Jared about it. Belatedly, he realizes Jared only mentioned Sandy McCoy when Jensen started ribbing him hard about being single, and, shit, Jensen is the world's worst friend. Ever.
He sits down on the bed next to Jared.
"I'm sorry, man," he says.
"For what, your hot body?" asks Jared, still trying for sarcasm.
"Jared," says Jensen. "Seriously."
Jared lets out a shaky breath. "You didn't do anything."
"I should've noticed."
"I was really hoping you wouldn't."
"Hanging out with your head in my lap isn't subtle, dude."
Jared laughs, still shaky. Jensen fucking hates it. "Yeah, well, apparently I'm a masochist."
"See, you're gonna get into an awesome college, vocabulary like that."
"Yeah, that's gonna show up on the SAT," says Jared, smiling over at Jensen through his bangs, and he looks a little better now, and Jensen can't help himself.
Before he even notices he's doing it, he's got his hand on Jared's cheek and he's leaning in to kiss him. Jared's got nice lips, soft and kind of beat up from the way he chews on them when he's thinking, and Jensen finds himself really wanting to become a lot more familiar with them.
Jared, though, Jared makes a strangled noise and pulls away.
"No fucking way," he says, before Jensen's brain has switched over from thinking about how nice Jared's mouth felt under his.
"What?"
"Maybe you want to just play a little tonsil hockey with Morgan and that's good enough, but I fucking can't, Jensen. I'm...seriously. Just. Get out."
Jensen is trying to dissect that statement, but he's having trouble thinking because he's distracted by his hyper-awareness of Jared. It never really occurred to him to think of Jared like that before; they've been friends for so long, he forgot there were other options. But Jared--Jared's at least as hot as Morgan, and he's Jared. He knows every dumbass thing about Jensen, likes him anyway, is in love with him anyway, and Jensen...
Jensen doesn't care about seeing Morgan for the rest of his life. Doesn't care if Morgan graduates and leaves. He wanted some sex--would've maybe liked a boyfriend, but it wasn't the end of the world if he didn't get that. And he never wanted anything permanent. But he and Jared have been planning to get out of town together their whole lives, and Jensen doesn't want to get out without Jared. Doesn't want to go anywhere without Jared.
So Jensen stands, deliberately, and moves into Jared's lap, straddling his hips, enjoying, for once, the sensation of being taller than Jared Padalecki.
Jared whimpers. "I swear to god, Jensen, if you're not--"
"I ever tell you you talk too much, Padalecki?" asks Jensen, leaning down to suck a kiss into Jared's neck.
"Fuck," breathes Jared, fisting his hands into Jensen's shirt. "All the damn time. You started doing this sooner and I would've shut up faster," he says.
"Mmm," says Jensen, pushing Jared's shirt up and angling his hips to rub against Jared better, grinning when Jared lets out a groan like this is the best thing that's ever happened. Jensen thinks it might be. "Should've suggested it."
"You break my heart, I'm going to kill you," says Jared, and then he's arching up to kiss Jensen. His lips are still pretty awesome, but now it's more about the tongues and Jensen's got Jared under him on the bed before they come up for breath.
"You're Jared," Jensen says, as if this explains everything. Because for him, it pretty much does. "Of course I'm in love with you, fucker."
Jared laughs, a little too long, but happy and real, so Jensen doesn't even care. "So you gonna suck my dick?" asks Jared, grinning like a loser.
"You gonna think I'm easy?"
"Really easy," agrees Jared. "But I won't like you if you don't put out."
Jensen sighs. "Well, in that case, I guess I better."
But just as he's about to get down to it, Jared hauls him up to kiss him again, and Jensen doesn't really mind the change of plans.
*
"You're looking chipper, Padalecki," says Morgan, grinning more at Jensen than Jared.
Jared's got his head in Jensen's lap, the same as always, but he's got this aura of smug contentment coming off him in waves, like he won the lottery or something. "Fuck you, Morgan," says Jared easily. "My girlfriend's just easy."
"See if I ever put out again," says Jensen, giving him the finger, and Jared grins up from his lap.
"God, you're disgusting," says Rosey. "I'm going to throw up."
"I think it's kind of cute," says Tommy.
"That's because you're a gaywad," says Rosey.
"Tommy's the only guy here with a girlfriend," Morgan points out.
"I have girlfriends," says Rosey. "One night each."
"People like you make me wonder why I like guys," says Jensen, sighing.
"Aww, honey, you know want this," says Rosey.
"Stop hitting on my boyfriend, Rosenbaum," says Jared, and it's kind of awesome, the way Jared grins so wide when he says boyfriend, like it's everything he's ever wanted in the world.
Jensen tugs Jared's hair, turning his face up, and leans down to kiss him. He hears Rosey making retching noises and Morgan wolf-whistling, but he just flips them off and keeps going.
*
"Okay," says Jensen. "This is pretty easy stuff."
"Yeah, you would say that. You're a freaky genius," says Jared, looking up through his bangs. This was easier, Jensen decides, before he realized how adorable Jared is. Although he's still pretty unclear how he missed Jared's remarkable adorableness. Seriously. It's unbelievable.
"Yeah, well, that's why I'm helping you."
"So I can get into a good college and hang out with you for the rest of my life?" asks Jared.
"Yeah. I'm not supporting my dumbass boyfriend forever," Jensen says, and Jared grins.
"You don't think I'd make a good trophy husband?"
"No way. Who gets a trophy husband who isn't prettier than they are?"
"You're gonna kill my self-esteem, Jensen," says Jared, mock-wounded.
"Yeah, well, you've got plenty to spare. And you're supposed to be doing math."
Jared sighs. "Fucking slave driver." But he starts writing.
Jensen leans back on Jared's bed, stretching out while Jared works. He's pretty sure Morgan and Rosey and Tommy are out getting wasted, and they're probably having an awesome time. Hell, next week, he and Jared'll probably go with them and have an awesome time too. But Jared's chewing his pencil and concentrating hard, and that's pretty cool too.
"Dude, stop staring at my ass, I'm trying to learn here," says Jared without looking up.
"Brat."
"Dumbass."
"Shut up, I'm a genius."
"Then come tell me if I've got this right," says Jared, and if Jensen leans a bit closer than he has to, he doesn't care. Just because he's a genius doesn't mean he can't be a horndog too. After all, he is kind of a burnout.
I spent all day today watching Freaks and Geeks (tiny Sweets!). And that inspired me to write a high school AU. It's not actually based on Freaks and Geeks, but it borrows some things that were happening when I started it. And is mostly just. There. I dunno. It is happening. Right now. As we speak.
Title: Someday Everything Is Gonna Be Smooth Like a Rhapsody
Author:
chashFandom: Supernatural RPS
Pairing: Jared Padalecki/Jensen Ackles, Jensen Ackles/Jeffrey Dean Morgan (one-sided).
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Real person fiction, high school AU.
Word Count: ~3,300 words
Summary: Jensen just wants to get into college, graduate, and get the hell out of Dodge. He also wouldn't mind if he got laid and Jared stopped being a mopey bitch, but whatever.
Disclaimer: Lies and untruths.
For the most part, Jensen likes being smart. He tries not to broadcast it too much, but it's convenient, you know? His friends hate studying and love partying, and their grades pretty much all suck. And Jensen, he doesn't want to be stuck in this crappy town forever, living with his parents and working at the 7-11 like Jared's brother Jeff. He wants to get out of Texas, and good grades are the best thing he can think of to do it.
But yeah, if he wants to keep hanging out with Morgan and Tommy and Rosey, he doesn't have time to do all his homework or go to all his classes. He drives his teachers nuts, he knows--ninth grade, they all decided he must be cheating somehow, and every test he got questioned for hours. His hair was blue then, which probably didn't help, and Rosey had just talked him into piercing his nose, so everybody thought he must be a burnout. And he is a burnout, yeah, but he's a fucking smart burnout.
Anyway, Jensen never talks in class--doesn't go to class half the time--so he figures only the teachers actually know he's got a brain in his head.
But then Morgan says, "Hey, Jen, need your help."
See, when Jeffrey Dean Morgan says jump, Jensen doesn't say "how high," but he kind of tries to guess how high Morgan wants him to jump and does it. While grumbling a little, to make sure Morgan doesn't know. Because Morgan, Morgan's pretty hot. Everyone thinks Morgan's hot. Jared said it was that bad-boy thing, where all the girls like the guys who are going to treat them like shit, and Jensen shoved him and said he wasn't a girl.
Jensen tries not to think about what Jared would say about this, though; Jared likes Morgan fine, but they're not friends friends. And Jared thinks Jensen's thing for Morgan is stupid, so he'd seriously disapprove of Jensen's heart skipping a beat when Morgan's attention is all focused on him like that, asking him for help.
"Yeah? What's up?" asks Jensen, going for casual.
"Biology."
"Biology?" asks Jensen. It kind of could be a pickup line, and Jensen is absolutely not getting his hopes up. Morgan doesn't even like guys that much--he goes with guys sometimes, but it's never anything more than a drunk handjob. And it's not like Jensen wants to marry Morgan or anything like that, he just--it's Morgan.
"I got a test coming up, man, and I'm gonna fail it. Manners said you aced that class last year. And seriously, Jen, you took bio fucking last year?"
"Yeah, uh. I dunno, man, they just put me in there," he says, scratching the back of his head. "What, you want me to tutor you?"
"No way, man, I want you to give me your old tests. I heard Manners never changes them."
And that's--not what Jensen was expecting, really. He's not sure what he was expecting, but that's the kind of shit that lasts, if anyone finds out. And it's the kind of shit that brings back all those fucking stupid accusations that Jensen is a cheater, and it's not the kind of guy he is. He's a lot of things, he's fucking loyal to his friends, but he's not dumb.
But it's Morgan, Morgan smiling at him and giving him the charming look, and Jensen's only human.
"Yeah, man, I'll take a look, see if I've got 'em."
"Thanks, Jen," says Jeff, clapping him on the shoulder and grinning, somehow, even more.
Jensen's fucked.
*
"You're fucked," agrees Jared. "I can't even fucking believe Morgan asked you that."
"Yeah, you can," says Jensen. "You hate Morgan."
"I don't hate Morgan," says Jared. "I just don't think the dude shits rainbows like you do."
"Shits rainbows?" asks Jensen. "How is shitting rainbows good?"
"I don't know," says Jared waving his hand. "I just--Morgan's not all that, Jensen. He's sure as fuck not worth getting suspended for."
"I'm not getting suspended for him," says Jensen. "I just tell him I can't find 'em. No harm, no foul. It's fine."
Jared leans back on the bench, looking up. "You're better than this shit, you know that, man?"
"Better than you, loser? Trust me, I know," says Jensen with a smirk.
Jared shakes his head, though, doesn't take the bait. "I'm serious, Jensen. You're smart. You're awesome. You don't need to hang out with shitheads like us."
"You're not a shithead," says Jensen.
"I kind of am. Me and Jeff, man. 7-11 forever."
"Seriously, Jare. You're not stupid."
"I'm not smart like you. I gotta study to get good grades."
Jensen glances over. Jared, he's been Jensen's friend since birth, pretty much--their dads work together, and they're the same age, so they've pretty much always been together. Even before they fell in with Morgan and the rest of them, it was Jensen and Jared. And Jared's kind of Jensen's responsibility. Jensen's only a few months older, but...it matters to him.
"I'm not doing it, you know," says Jensen. "Don't care what he says to me."
"This time," mutters Jared.
"Jare," says Jensen. "Leave it, okay."
"I just don't want Morgan to break your stupid heart. Cuz I'm the one who has to deal with that shit," says Jared, going for light, but kind of failing at it. He's looking at Jensen like maybe he thinks Jensen's heart already got broken. Or something like that.
"I'm not a girl," Jensen says.
"You're my best friend," says Jared. "And you're a fucking girl," he adds, grinning.
Jensen gives him the finger, and the weirdness passes.
*
"Couldn't find any old tests," says Jensen easily. It's even true--he's fucked if he knows where that shit is. He doesn't even know he's got them. He doesn't keep track of stuff after the class is over.
Morgan looks at him for a long time. "Yeah?"
"Yeah."
"Man, I'm fucked," says Morgan, laughing.
"It's one test, man," Jensen points out. "You're not gonna die or anything."
"Come on, Jen, throw me a fucking bone."
"What do you want me to do?"
"Cheat sheet," says Morgan, grinning.
Jensen groans. "Dude, you've got the internet, right? You don't need me for this."
"Come on, Jen," says Morgan, leaning close and grinning, and Jensen swallows.
He really, really can't tell Jared about this.
*
"So are you a genius?" asks Rosey.
Jensen flips him off. "Fuck you."
"Seriously, Morgan says you're fucking scary smart."
"Morgan's full of shit," says Jensen easily.
"You're not flunking any classes, right?" asks Tommy.
"Neither am I, and I'm a dumbass," says Jared. He's got his head in Jensen's lap, and Jensen's absently petting his hair. Jared has awesome hair.
"You study," says Rosey. "Nerd."
"Yeah, well, I don't want to look at your ugly face my whole fucking life," says Jared.
"Just Jensen's ugly face?" asks Tommy.
"Hey, I'm beautiful," says Jensen, but Jared's weirdly stiff under him, and he's kind of concerned.
"You're the fucking prettiest princess, Ackles," says Morgan.
Jensen doesn't blush. He really hopes he doesn't. Because Jared is wrong, and Jensen isn't a girl. "Damn straight," is what he says.
"Or, you know, not," says Rosey.
Jensen flips him off.
"You do that so much I'm surprised your finger doesn't get cramps," says Morgan.
"Jen's fingers get a lot of exercise," says Rosey.
"Fuck you all," says Jensen.
Jared's still tense beneath him, awkward and unhappy, and Jensen just keeps stroking his hair, wishing he knew what the fuck was wrong.
*
Really, Jared's been acting kind of weird for a while. Jensen thinks maybe it's that it's their junior year--all his classes are getting more intense and everyone spends all their time talking about college. Jensen's been kind of distracted, too--Morgan and Rosey and Tommy are all a year older than them, and they're graduating soon, and Jensen's pretty much decided he's going to fuck Morgan before graduation. Because god knows he needs some sort of time line for this stupid crush.
So he maybe hasn't been keeping as good track of Jared as he should; Jared's his best friend, after all, and he should be taking care of him all the time, but there's a lot going on. Jensen's busy. Whatever.
Still, it's bracing when Murray comes over and reams him out for it.
"Hey, fuckhead!" says Murray. Jensen can never tell, with Murray, if this means he's pissed or what--"fuckhead" is sometimes a term of affection for that guy. He calls Jared that, and the kid fucking worships Jared.
"What do you want, Murray?"
"I want you to take care of your boy, asswipe."
"Language, Mr. Murray," says Ms. Gamble, looking pissed off.
"My bad, ma'am," says Murray.
"I take care of Jared fine," says Jensen. "What's it to you?"
"He's being a mopey little bitch. That's your bad, Ackles."
"How is that my fault?"
"Dude, he just gets mopey when he thinks you're breaking up with him."
"Fuck you," says Jensen.
"Mr. Ackles!" says Ms. Gamble.
"Sorry!" says Jensen, waving.
By the time he's looking back at Murray, the fucker's gone.
*
"So Jen," says Morgan at lunch, a week before Christmas break. "I've got midterms. Bio. Need your help."
"Man, I told you, Morgan, I lost those tests. And I already did your cheat sheet."
"Dude, I want you to tutor me."
Jensen blinks. "Seriously?"
"Seriously. It's my senior year, Jen. I don't want to get held back fucking now."
"Oh, uh, yeah. I guess I could do that."
"Sweet," says Morgan. "I fucking owe you, man."
*
"That's gotta be good for a blowjob, right?" asks Jensen.
"Giving or getting?" asks Jared.
"Fuck, man, I don't even care," says Jensen. "I'll take what I can get."
"Needy isn't a good look for you, Jensen," says Jared, sighing. "You're really tutoring him?"
"I guess so. It's not like I could say no, right?"
"Yeah, you could," says Jared, harshly. "You just don't. Not with Morgan."
"I'd help you too, you spaz."
"Yeah, whatever," says Jared. "Have fun with your study buddy."
And then he leaves.
Jensen blinks after him.
Maybe Murray was right.
*
"You notice anything up with Jared?" he asks Morgan. Morgan's kind of scratching his head at the study sheet Jensen gave him, and Jensen really should be paying attention to that, but he's worried.
"Padalecki? I don't know. You stop putting out?"
Jensen scoffs. "Maybe Sandy did."
"Sandy McCoy?"
"Yeah. They're dating."
"Jen, she's practically engaged to Justin Hartley."
Jensen blinks. "He told me they were going out."
"That's between you and him, man. Honestly, I thought you guys had a thing."
"Me and Jared?" asks Jensen.
"Padalecki doesn't drape all over me, Jen," Morgan points out.
"Jared doesn't like you that much," mutters Jensen.
"Padalecki doesn't like anybody enough to drape all over them all the fucking time. Nobody except you."
Jensen swallows. It's stupid. He and Jared are best friends. That's why they hang out all the time and Jared sometimes snuggles with him a little. It's all pretty much platonic.
"We're not dating," says Jensen finally, realizing it's been an awkwardly long time.
Morgan shrugs. "Maybe that's why he's pissed off."
And that would actually make sense, is the crazy thing. If Jared liked Jensen, then...
"Shit," says Jensen. "I'm going to kill that little fucker."
"He's kind of a giant fucker," says Morgan. "Dude's huge."
"I gotta go," says Jensen.
"Yeah, whatever. You're still tutoring me later, queer."
Jensen gives him the finger.
*
"Are you in love with me, asshole?"
Jared blinks. Okay, so it's possible that busting into Jared's room and asking about love out of the blue wasn't Jensen's best option, but for fucking serious, they're best friends. Jared isn't supposed to just not tell him shit like this.
"Hi, Jensen, nice to see you too," says Jared, sitting up on his bed. He runs his hand through his hair. "What?"
"So Murray's pissed at me for not treating you right and fucking Morgan thinks we're dating and you've been being a mopey bitch all year, so I'm think maybe everyone's right and you've got a thing for me. And you just didn't tell me, which, seriously, thanks, dickhead."
"Christ, I don't--" Jared runs his hands through his hair again, which he fucking always does when he's lying; it's his tell in poker, too. Jared can't keep his hands off his hair when he's straight-up lying. "Just tell Morgan he's wrong, maybe he'll go out with you then."
Jensen stalks closer to the bed, closer to Jared. "I don't think he's wrong."
Jared laughs, but it's not really a believable laugh. "Yeah, Jensen, I'm secretly pining away for you."
He doesn't touch his hair.
And Jensen hadn't quite gotten to this part in his head, actually. He'd gotten to wanting to ream Jared the fuck out for not telling him the truth, but he hadn't gone past that. And guilt hits him a sudden wave, because Jared--Jared likes him, and Jensen's spent his whole life crushing on other people and telling Jared about it. Belatedly, he realizes Jared only mentioned Sandy McCoy when Jensen started ribbing him hard about being single, and, shit, Jensen is the world's worst friend. Ever.
He sits down on the bed next to Jared.
"I'm sorry, man," he says.
"For what, your hot body?" asks Jared, still trying for sarcasm.
"Jared," says Jensen. "Seriously."
Jared lets out a shaky breath. "You didn't do anything."
"I should've noticed."
"I was really hoping you wouldn't."
"Hanging out with your head in my lap isn't subtle, dude."
Jared laughs, still shaky. Jensen fucking hates it. "Yeah, well, apparently I'm a masochist."
"See, you're gonna get into an awesome college, vocabulary like that."
"Yeah, that's gonna show up on the SAT," says Jared, smiling over at Jensen through his bangs, and he looks a little better now, and Jensen can't help himself.
Before he even notices he's doing it, he's got his hand on Jared's cheek and he's leaning in to kiss him. Jared's got nice lips, soft and kind of beat up from the way he chews on them when he's thinking, and Jensen finds himself really wanting to become a lot more familiar with them.
Jared, though, Jared makes a strangled noise and pulls away.
"No fucking way," he says, before Jensen's brain has switched over from thinking about how nice Jared's mouth felt under his.
"What?"
"Maybe you want to just play a little tonsil hockey with Morgan and that's good enough, but I fucking can't, Jensen. I'm...seriously. Just. Get out."
Jensen is trying to dissect that statement, but he's having trouble thinking because he's distracted by his hyper-awareness of Jared. It never really occurred to him to think of Jared like that before; they've been friends for so long, he forgot there were other options. But Jared--Jared's at least as hot as Morgan, and he's Jared. He knows every dumbass thing about Jensen, likes him anyway, is in love with him anyway, and Jensen...
Jensen doesn't care about seeing Morgan for the rest of his life. Doesn't care if Morgan graduates and leaves. He wanted some sex--would've maybe liked a boyfriend, but it wasn't the end of the world if he didn't get that. And he never wanted anything permanent. But he and Jared have been planning to get out of town together their whole lives, and Jensen doesn't want to get out without Jared. Doesn't want to go anywhere without Jared.
So Jensen stands, deliberately, and moves into Jared's lap, straddling his hips, enjoying, for once, the sensation of being taller than Jared Padalecki.
Jared whimpers. "I swear to god, Jensen, if you're not--"
"I ever tell you you talk too much, Padalecki?" asks Jensen, leaning down to suck a kiss into Jared's neck.
"Fuck," breathes Jared, fisting his hands into Jensen's shirt. "All the damn time. You started doing this sooner and I would've shut up faster," he says.
"Mmm," says Jensen, pushing Jared's shirt up and angling his hips to rub against Jared better, grinning when Jared lets out a groan like this is the best thing that's ever happened. Jensen thinks it might be. "Should've suggested it."
"You break my heart, I'm going to kill you," says Jared, and then he's arching up to kiss Jensen. His lips are still pretty awesome, but now it's more about the tongues and Jensen's got Jared under him on the bed before they come up for breath.
"You're Jared," Jensen says, as if this explains everything. Because for him, it pretty much does. "Of course I'm in love with you, fucker."
Jared laughs, a little too long, but happy and real, so Jensen doesn't even care. "So you gonna suck my dick?" asks Jared, grinning like a loser.
"You gonna think I'm easy?"
"Really easy," agrees Jared. "But I won't like you if you don't put out."
Jensen sighs. "Well, in that case, I guess I better."
But just as he's about to get down to it, Jared hauls him up to kiss him again, and Jensen doesn't really mind the change of plans.
*
"You're looking chipper, Padalecki," says Morgan, grinning more at Jensen than Jared.
Jared's got his head in Jensen's lap, the same as always, but he's got this aura of smug contentment coming off him in waves, like he won the lottery or something. "Fuck you, Morgan," says Jared easily. "My girlfriend's just easy."
"See if I ever put out again," says Jensen, giving him the finger, and Jared grins up from his lap.
"God, you're disgusting," says Rosey. "I'm going to throw up."
"I think it's kind of cute," says Tommy.
"That's because you're a gaywad," says Rosey.
"Tommy's the only guy here with a girlfriend," Morgan points out.
"I have girlfriends," says Rosey. "One night each."
"People like you make me wonder why I like guys," says Jensen, sighing.
"Aww, honey, you know want this," says Rosey.
"Stop hitting on my boyfriend, Rosenbaum," says Jared, and it's kind of awesome, the way Jared grins so wide when he says boyfriend, like it's everything he's ever wanted in the world.
Jensen tugs Jared's hair, turning his face up, and leans down to kiss him. He hears Rosey making retching noises and Morgan wolf-whistling, but he just flips them off and keeps going.
*
"Okay," says Jensen. "This is pretty easy stuff."
"Yeah, you would say that. You're a freaky genius," says Jared, looking up through his bangs. This was easier, Jensen decides, before he realized how adorable Jared is. Although he's still pretty unclear how he missed Jared's remarkable adorableness. Seriously. It's unbelievable.
"Yeah, well, that's why I'm helping you."
"So I can get into a good college and hang out with you for the rest of my life?" asks Jared.
"Yeah. I'm not supporting my dumbass boyfriend forever," Jensen says, and Jared grins.
"You don't think I'd make a good trophy husband?"
"No way. Who gets a trophy husband who isn't prettier than they are?"
"You're gonna kill my self-esteem, Jensen," says Jared, mock-wounded.
"Yeah, well, you've got plenty to spare. And you're supposed to be doing math."
Jared sighs. "Fucking slave driver." But he starts writing.
Jensen leans back on Jared's bed, stretching out while Jared works. He's pretty sure Morgan and Rosey and Tommy are out getting wasted, and they're probably having an awesome time. Hell, next week, he and Jared'll probably go with them and have an awesome time too. But Jared's chewing his pencil and concentrating hard, and that's pretty cool too.
"Dude, stop staring at my ass, I'm trying to learn here," says Jared without looking up.
"Brat."
"Dumbass."
"Shut up, I'm a genius."
"Then come tell me if I've got this right," says Jared, and if Jensen leans a bit closer than he has to, he doesn't care. Just because he's a genius doesn't mean he can't be a horndog too. After all, he is kind of a burnout.
