ORZ!!

[longsufferingly]

What I was planning to do today: Watch Leverage and write my fic for whenboymeetsboy.
What I actually did today: Watched It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia and wrote this.

god why does this happen

this is 2000 words of HARVEST MOON J2

do you know what harvest moon is

it is a FARMING SIMULATOR

that's right. I wrote farming simulator porn. it's softcore porn but STILL.

let's never speak of this again


There's a new guy living at the Beaver farm.

Sophia comes in and tells Jensen about in on the first day of spring.

"Apparently, he was here for a while when he was little," she explains. "When he stopped getting letters from Jim, he came to investigate."

Jensen clucks his tongue. "What's he look like?"

"Brown hair, kind of shaggy. Really tall. Strong. Hazel eyes. Very attractive. Why?"

Jensen shrugs. "I knew a kid who was on the Beaver farm for a while when I was younger. Uh...Jason or Jeff or..."

"Jared?" Sophia supplies.

Jensen snaps his fingers. "Jared, yeah."

Sophia smirks. "Well, he's back. You should go say hi."

Jensen ducks his head. "He'll be here to get a cow sooner or later," he says. Jared probably doesn't even remember him.

Sophia grins. "I'm hoping he's going to come to me for some books."

"Looking for a husband, Soph? You know Chad wants you."

Sophia wrinkles her nose. "I'd rather take Jared."

Jensen shakes his head. "I'll be sure to put in a good word for you if he stops by."

"You're the best, Jensen."

Jensen waves his hand. "I know, I know."

*

Jared shows up the next day, while Jensen is tending to a sick calf.

"Hello?" he asks. "Anyone home?"

"In the barn!" Jensen yells.

The calf, Polly, has been sick for three days, and Jensen doesn't know why the medicine isn't working, so he's not thinking much about the fact that it's an unfamiliar voice. He's thinking about how to save Polly's life.

"Am I interrupting something?" asks the guy, and Jensen glances up to see Jared for the first time in a while. He's pretty much exactly like Sophia described, and Jensen's mouth goes a little dry. Jared's grown up very well.

"No," Jensen manages. "Uh. Just..." he stands up, brushes his hands on his pants. "Polly's sick."

"Polly?" asks Jared.

"This calf."

"Oh. I can--do you need any help? I know a little about cows."

"Sure, if you're free," says Jensen.

Jared grins and comes over. "How long's she been sick?"

"Three days."

"Oh man," Jared shakes his head. "That's no good." He strokes the calf's ear. "Hey, girl, what's wrong?"

Polly looks up at him with big brown eyes and lets out a mournful moo.

"Has she been outside?" asks Jared, glancing at Jensen. "She looks like she could use some air."

"You think that's it?"

Jared shrugs. "You've been giving her medicine, right?"

"Yeah."

"Then I think so, yeah. Probably just needs a little more time to sink in. But fresh air'll help."

Jensen shrugs. "Worth a shot. Help me move her?"

Together they get Polly out into the yard, and Jared offers Jensen his hand.

"I'm Jared, by the way. Just moved in to Jim Beaver's old place."

Jensen shakes his hand; apparently, Jared doesn't remember him. "Jensen. This is my family's farm."

"It's nice," says Jared. "I can't quite afford a cow yet, but I'm definitely going to get one as soon as I can."

Jensen nods. "Thanks for the help with Polly."

Jared grins. "Any time."

*

The next day, Jared shows up and gives Jensen a bamboo shoot.

"Uh," says Jensen. "Thanks?"

"I found it in the woods," says Jared, rubbing the back of his neck. "I thought you might like it."

"Yeah. It's--great. I needed some bamboo."

In the yard, Jared's dog, Harley, runs around with Sadie. Jared seems pleased about it.

*

"Sandy's trying for him," says Sophia, four days later. Jensen has received, during this time, two different colors of grass, and a jar of honey. It's weird.

"For Jared?"

"Of course for Jared," says Sophia.

"Why?"

"Because he's hot and owns a farm," says Sophia. "What's not to like?"

"I dunno," Jensen shrugs. "I just--there are lots of guys in town."

"Don't tell me you like Sandy."

"I'm not looking to get married. I don't know why everyone else is so obsessed."

"Our biological clocks are ticking," says Sophia, waggling her eyebrows.

"They are not," scoffs Jensen.

"I really want to get laid," says Sophia, stretching. "My hand just doesn't do the job."

Jensen chokes. "And you think Jared would?"

"You know what they say about guys with big hands."

And Jensen thinks--yeah, Jared's probably big all over. Strong. He'd be--Jensen swallows.

"You okay?" asks Sophia.

"Yeah," says Jensen, still coughing a little.

"You're so repressed."

"Shut up."

"Hey, Jensen!" says Jared from outside.

Sophia blanches. "Is that him?"

Jensen wants to crawl into a hole. "He comes most days," he says.

"And you didn't tell me? I can't believe it! You're not supposed to be holding out on me."

"It was--" Jensen starts, but then Jared comes in. He's looking happy, but when he sees Sophia, his smile dims a little.

"Hey Jensen, hey Sophia. Am I interrupting?"

"No!" says Sophia quickly. "Hi, Jared!"

"Hey," says Jensen, waving.

"I just, uh," Jared rubs the back of his neck. "I brought you," he roots around in his bag. "Egg," he says, and holds one out. "I figured you're always with the cows, you might not get a lot of, uh, other animal products."

Jensen can feel his blush to the tips of his ears. He can feel Sophia's eyes on him. "That's, uh--thanks. I mostly get milk, yeah."

Jared brightens immediately. "You like it?"

"Yeah," says Jensen. "It's great."

Jared ducks his head, blushes, and says, "See you later."

Sophia stares at him. "He brings you eggs?"

"No," scoffs Jensen. "Usually he brings, uh. Other stuff."

"He brings you stuff?"

"Yeah."

"How often?"

"Every day?" says Jensen, nervously.

"He doesn't bring me anything," says Sophie.

"Oh," says Jensen.

"Or Sandy."

"Okay," says Jensen. "Well, we're kind of friends, you know."

Sophia shakes her head.

*

Jared brings Jensen three more eggs before Jensen decides he should really see what's happening here.

"Uh," he starts. "Jared?"

"Yeah?" asks Jared. He's helping Jensen brush the cows today. The cows like Jared a lot. Jensen tries to forget everything his mama has ever told him about cows and their ability to judge character. Jared is just a nice guy who's always bringing him stuff.

"Why do you keep bringing me eggs?"

"I thought you liked them," says Jared, looking uncomfortable.

"They're fine," agrees Jensen. "But, uh...why do you keep...?"

Jared blushes. "I can bring something else."

"You don't have to bring anything," says Jensen.

"I'll get something else," says Jared firmly.

*

Jared brings a radish the next day.

"A radish?"

"I grew it myself," says Jared. He's practically glowing with pride. "First thing to come in on my farm."

"Congratulations," says Jensen. "Jared..."

"See you later, Jensen!"

*

"Sandy said Jared's been bringing you eggs," says Danneel.

"He moved on to other produce," Jensen mutters. Jensen has another radish and a potato now.

"And you have no idea why," says Danneel.

"He's really nice," says Jensen.

"He doesn't bring me stuff."

"I guess he likes me," says Jensen.

Danneel stares at him for a long time.

"What?" asks Jensen.

"You're hopeless," says Danneel. "I have to get home. Thanks for the feed."

"You're welcome," says Jensen.

He knows what Danneel is going for--and what Sophia and Sandy and Allie and every girl in town must be thinking. But he doesn't--he can't take getting his hopes up. Not unless he's sure.

*

On the fourteenth, Jared brings him cookies.

"Jared," says Jensen.

"Yeah?"

The cookies are kind of black. They smell like fire. "Where did you get these?"

Jared scratches the back of his neck. "You know Sandy from the Inn?"

"Yeah."

"I talked her into letting me use her stove."

"And you didn't give her the cookies?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"They're for you," says Jared.

"You give cookies to girls today, Jared."

"Why?"

"So they'll marry you."

"I don't want them to marry me."

Jensen blinks. "Huh?"

Jared grins. "See you tomorrow, Jensen."

*

Jensen heads to the library as soon as Jared's gone.

"Did you make me cookies?" asks Sophia, blinking. "Please tell me you aren't stupid enough to have made me cookies."

"No," he says. He's still got the plate from Jared in his hands.

"They look terrible."

"I know." Jensen puts them down and slumps into a seat. "Jared made them for me."

Sophia raises her eyebrows.

"What does he want?" asks Jensen, resting his forehead on Sophia's desk.

"You," says Sophia, like Jensen is stupid.

"I know," agrees Jensen. "I know."

*

When Jensen realized he wasn't particularly interested in girls, he figured he was through. After all, he's never found any of the other bachelors around town particularly appealing, and all of them have been very set on girls for their whole lives. So he'd pretty much resigned himself to living a life of solitude with his cows.

It had never occurred to him that his childhood crush would come home and start bringing him bamboo shoots and radishes and cookies.

And Jensen doesn't really have any experience with this.

Polly lows next to him.

"Yeah, you're right," Jensen agrees, stroking her ear. "I need to do something."

*

"Hi," says Jared, blinking, when he opens the door. It's early and he looks sleep-rumpled and warm.

"Hi," says Jensen. He's never actually come to see Jared before. "I, uh." He sighs. "I brought you a cow."

Polly moos.

"I can see that," says Jared, smiling.

"I thought you could," Jensen exhales. "I thought you might need a cow."

"She's a good cow," says Jared. "Thank you."

"I'll just put her in the b--"

Jared catches his wrist as Jensen turns to go. "Leave her out," says Jared. "It's a nice day."

"Okay," breathes Jensen.

Jared tugs his wrist and Jensen's inside.

"Morning," says Jared, smiling warmly.

"Morning," agrees Jensen.

"You brought me a cow," says Jared. He hasn't let go of Jensen yet.

"You bring me a lot of stuff."

"Yeah," says Jared, slipping his hand under Jensen's shirt.

"Uh," says Jensen. He looks around Jared's house. "You don't have a kitchen."

Jared flexes his fingers on Jensen's stomach and leans down to nuzzle his neck. "Nope."

"Or a big bed."

"Nope."

"You don't even have a vase."

"They're expensive," Jared points out. He bites Jensen's pulse point lightly.

"Ghng," says Jensen. "You, uh. You need that stuff to get married."

"I thought we'd take it slow," says Jared, looking up at Jensen with wide, innocent eyes.

Jensen lets out a strangled laugh. "Slow."

"Yeah," says Jared. "Finding out about each other. Our dislikes," he smirks, slow and easy, and moves his hand down to cup Jensen's dick. "Our likes."

"Hnmdg," says Jensen.

"Sound good?" asks Jared.

"Stop talking," says Jensen and fists his hands in Jared's shirt, drags him to the bed.

Jared falls on top of him, laughing.

"Your bed is too small," Jensen grumbles, tugging at Jared's shirt.

"I'll buy you a bigger one later," says Jared, sucking a kiss into Jensen's jaw.

"You better," says Jensen. "Or we're never getting married."

"What is with you and marriage?" asks Jared, fumbling with Jensen's fly. "You're like a girl."

"I just want your farm," says Jensen. "Oh god," he gasps as Jared wraps his fingers firmly around Jensen's dick.

"Just the farm?"

Jensen buries his face against Jared's neck and swears as he comes in Jared's hand.

"Took you long enough," says Jared, flopping next to Jensen. "Thought I was gonna have to give you a cucumber and start sucking it in front of you."

Jensen groans at the image. "I hate you."

"Yeah, yeah," says Jared. "You gonna help me with this?" He looks significantly down at himself.

Jensen sighs. "If I have to."

"Wouldn't want you to overexert yourself," says Jared, smirking.

"Shut up," says Jensen.

*

"So," says Sophia, "you and Jared."

Jensen grins. "Me and Jared."

"I heard he's getting a big bed."

"He better," mutters Jensen. "His is tiny."

Sophia looks smug at him.

Jensen blushes.

Jared strolls in, looking like the cat who got the canary. "Hey Jensen," he says. "Sophia," he adds, not unkindly, but not with nearly the warmth he uses for Jensen.

"Hi Jared," says Sophia, beaming.

"Hey," says Jensen, blushing a little.

"Brought you something," says Jared.

"Jared, seriously, you don't--"

"Catch," says Jared, and Jensen's hand instinctively goes up to get the cucumber Jared tosses at him.

He blushes even more. "I hate you," he mutters.

"You busy tonight?"

"No."

"Great. You can come tell me how much you hate me."

"So much," says Jensen.

Jared just winks and waves.

"You've got a really subtle boyfriend," says Sophia.

"Yeah," agrees Jensen happily. "Yeah, I do."