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Oct. 26th, 2011 09:41 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
longsufferinglyUpstairs, Downstairs
J2 AU, 1100 words, hard R. Jensen's new apartment is great, but he's not sure about the neighbors. Inspired by the How I Met Your Mother episode "Bagpipes."
Jensen's new apartment is amazing. He's never had his own place before--living with Danneel right after college and then with Aldis once Danneel moved in with her girlfriend--and with his promotion at work, he actually could afford a nice condo, like a real adult. He's got hardwood floors, a bay window, an amazing kitchen, and a shower with a giant bath; in short, it's pretty much paradise.
Until he finds out, his first night there, that the ceiling is really, really thin.
Jensen works early--he's at his desk at eight a.m., and it's an hour drive--so he has the sleep schedule of, as Danneel so lovingly puts it, her grandmother. He's early to bed and early to rise, and he sticks to a very clear bedtime routine.
In fact, he's so accustomed to just waking up at six a.m. that when he finds himself awake at one, he just assumes it's time for work and starts getting dressed. Then he notices it's, one, totally the wrong kind of dark outside, two, his alarm didn't go off, and three, there is something very loud going on upstairs. Something with bed springs. And a guy saying fuck, fuck, fuck, yeah, fuck in the dirtiest voice Jensen has ever heard.
He rubs his face and climbs out of his slacks, crawling back into bed with a yawn. He tries to just go back to sleep, but the couple upstairs--or, okay, half of it--is really loud, and the guys voice is kind of, well, hot, and Jensen not only can't sleep, but he's getting kind of turned on.
It's not his best night.
*
On his way out the next morning, he checks the mailboxes and sees 702--Padalecki in bold, black print.
Okay, so, Padalecki. Amateur porn star in the making.
Jensen has no idea what to do with this information, but he at least he has a name he can curse now.
*
It doesn't happen every night, but it happens a lot. Jensen doesn't even know how he's supposed to complain about this. Does he get a broom and hit the roof? Does he go and knock? If he does, what could he say? Hey, man, could you and your girlfriend have sex during the day?
"He's probably shitty in bed, too," Danneel says. She's his consult for what to do about the neighbor problem.
"Why do you say that?" Jensen asks, feeling oddly defensive. Padalecki sounds like he'd be great in bed. Not that Jensen is still getting inappropriate erections over the guy. That would be awkward.
"Because you only ever hear him," Danneel points out. "If he's giving it to the girl as good as he's getting it, shouldn't you be hearing a filthy duet?"
"You're a poet," Jensen says dryly. "Maybe she's the quiet type."
"Oh my god," Danneel says, laughing. "You are actually invested in this shit. You want him to be a demon in the sack. Please tell me you aren't actually getting off to the show."
"No," Jensen mutters.
Danneel grins wider. "But you're totally popping wood."
"Fuck you," says Jensen.
"You should definitely go complain in person. Tell him you'll get way more into it than his cold-fish girlfriend."
"Thank you for your support." He sighs. "I hate you. And I need sleep."
"Poor baby. Get him to fuck you to sleep."
Jensen waves his middle finger at her. "Just for that, I'm taking a nap on your couch."
Danneel laughs. "Yeah, fair enough."
*
Jensen makes it through the end of the week, and then, Saturday morning, he hears the shower upstairs turn on, and, five minutes later, he hears the moaning, and then the gasping, and then the screaming orgasm.
It's ridiculous.
When the water shuts off, Jensen gives Padalecki ten minutes to get dressed and then storms upstairs and rings the bell.
The guy who opens the door is--wow. He's a few inches taller than Jensen, with wet hair curling around his ears and a towel over his shoulders. He's shirtless, and his pajama bottoms are riding low, showing incredible washboard abs, sharp hipbones, and a happy trail Jensen wants to follow with his tongue.
"Hello?" says the guy.
Jensen swallows hard and makes him meet Padalecki's eyes. Which are also pretty awesome. He has moles. Jensen is discovering turn-ons he didn't even know existed.
"Uh," he says, recovering. "Mr. Padalecki?"
"Jared," says the guy. "Can I help you? Do I need to get dressed?"
"No, um--my name is Jensen Ackles? I live downstairs? And I, uh, appreciate that you and your girlfriend have, um, an active sex life, but if you could try to--keep it down? At least at night? And maybe during breakfast. And--"
Jared has been giving him a considering look, and he finally just cuts Jensen off. "I don't have a girlfriend."
"Huh?" says Jensen, confused.
"I don't have a girlfriend," Jared says again. "It's just me. And my fingers. And sometimes a dildo. I like to get fucked, but I'm currently single. And gay. And very available. And, not to brag, kind of hung."
Jensen's jaw actually drops. He feels like a cartoon character. He hopes his eyes aren't bugging out and his tongue isn't falling out of his mouth in the shape of a staircase.
"I, uh--what?" he says, when he finally regains use of his mouth.
"You were checking me out," says Jared casually. "And you're freakishly attractive. And I just finger-fucked myself in the shower, so I'm all wet and open and ready. Unless you're busy."
"You just--we don't know each other! You've never even met me before today!"
"We can have lunch after," Jared says. "But, seriously, I'm all lubed up and ready to go. You should definitely come in here and fuck me. You can yell at me about being loud while we do it. Maybe spank me a little."
"Jesus Christ," says Jensen, rubbing his face.
Jared just grins. "That's a yes, right?"
*
"So, he was single, and now you're dating him," Danneel summarizes.
"Apparently," says Jensen.
"Huh," she says. She pauses. "So, are you loud?"
"What?"
"I mean, now that he's got a partner, are you as loud as he is, or is he still making all the noise? Or did you quiet him down?"
Jensen turns bright red. "We are not talking about this."
"I'm just wondering if you guys are being loud enough that some hot guy who lives below you is going to come and complain and it'll end up as a threesome. Because if so, dibs on filming that porno."
"I hate you," says Jensen. He rubs his face. "The woman who lives below me is named Mrs. Henderson. She's about seventy." He pauses. "And she already complained."
Danneel cackles. "Oh, honey. I'm so proud of you."
"Shut up," Jensen grumbles.
J2 AU, 1100 words, hard R. Jensen's new apartment is great, but he's not sure about the neighbors. Inspired by the How I Met Your Mother episode "Bagpipes."
Jensen's new apartment is amazing. He's never had his own place before--living with Danneel right after college and then with Aldis once Danneel moved in with her girlfriend--and with his promotion at work, he actually could afford a nice condo, like a real adult. He's got hardwood floors, a bay window, an amazing kitchen, and a shower with a giant bath; in short, it's pretty much paradise.
Until he finds out, his first night there, that the ceiling is really, really thin.
Jensen works early--he's at his desk at eight a.m., and it's an hour drive--so he has the sleep schedule of, as Danneel so lovingly puts it, her grandmother. He's early to bed and early to rise, and he sticks to a very clear bedtime routine.
In fact, he's so accustomed to just waking up at six a.m. that when he finds himself awake at one, he just assumes it's time for work and starts getting dressed. Then he notices it's, one, totally the wrong kind of dark outside, two, his alarm didn't go off, and three, there is something very loud going on upstairs. Something with bed springs. And a guy saying fuck, fuck, fuck, yeah, fuck in the dirtiest voice Jensen has ever heard.
He rubs his face and climbs out of his slacks, crawling back into bed with a yawn. He tries to just go back to sleep, but the couple upstairs--or, okay, half of it--is really loud, and the guys voice is kind of, well, hot, and Jensen not only can't sleep, but he's getting kind of turned on.
It's not his best night.
*
On his way out the next morning, he checks the mailboxes and sees 702--Padalecki in bold, black print.
Okay, so, Padalecki. Amateur porn star in the making.
Jensen has no idea what to do with this information, but he at least he has a name he can curse now.
*
It doesn't happen every night, but it happens a lot. Jensen doesn't even know how he's supposed to complain about this. Does he get a broom and hit the roof? Does he go and knock? If he does, what could he say? Hey, man, could you and your girlfriend have sex during the day?
"He's probably shitty in bed, too," Danneel says. She's his consult for what to do about the neighbor problem.
"Why do you say that?" Jensen asks, feeling oddly defensive. Padalecki sounds like he'd be great in bed. Not that Jensen is still getting inappropriate erections over the guy. That would be awkward.
"Because you only ever hear him," Danneel points out. "If he's giving it to the girl as good as he's getting it, shouldn't you be hearing a filthy duet?"
"You're a poet," Jensen says dryly. "Maybe she's the quiet type."
"Oh my god," Danneel says, laughing. "You are actually invested in this shit. You want him to be a demon in the sack. Please tell me you aren't actually getting off to the show."
"No," Jensen mutters.
Danneel grins wider. "But you're totally popping wood."
"Fuck you," says Jensen.
"You should definitely go complain in person. Tell him you'll get way more into it than his cold-fish girlfriend."
"Thank you for your support." He sighs. "I hate you. And I need sleep."
"Poor baby. Get him to fuck you to sleep."
Jensen waves his middle finger at her. "Just for that, I'm taking a nap on your couch."
Danneel laughs. "Yeah, fair enough."
*
Jensen makes it through the end of the week, and then, Saturday morning, he hears the shower upstairs turn on, and, five minutes later, he hears the moaning, and then the gasping, and then the screaming orgasm.
It's ridiculous.
When the water shuts off, Jensen gives Padalecki ten minutes to get dressed and then storms upstairs and rings the bell.
The guy who opens the door is--wow. He's a few inches taller than Jensen, with wet hair curling around his ears and a towel over his shoulders. He's shirtless, and his pajama bottoms are riding low, showing incredible washboard abs, sharp hipbones, and a happy trail Jensen wants to follow with his tongue.
"Hello?" says the guy.
Jensen swallows hard and makes him meet Padalecki's eyes. Which are also pretty awesome. He has moles. Jensen is discovering turn-ons he didn't even know existed.
"Uh," he says, recovering. "Mr. Padalecki?"
"Jared," says the guy. "Can I help you? Do I need to get dressed?"
"No, um--my name is Jensen Ackles? I live downstairs? And I, uh, appreciate that you and your girlfriend have, um, an active sex life, but if you could try to--keep it down? At least at night? And maybe during breakfast. And--"
Jared has been giving him a considering look, and he finally just cuts Jensen off. "I don't have a girlfriend."
"Huh?" says Jensen, confused.
"I don't have a girlfriend," Jared says again. "It's just me. And my fingers. And sometimes a dildo. I like to get fucked, but I'm currently single. And gay. And very available. And, not to brag, kind of hung."
Jensen's jaw actually drops. He feels like a cartoon character. He hopes his eyes aren't bugging out and his tongue isn't falling out of his mouth in the shape of a staircase.
"I, uh--what?" he says, when he finally regains use of his mouth.
"You were checking me out," says Jared casually. "And you're freakishly attractive. And I just finger-fucked myself in the shower, so I'm all wet and open and ready. Unless you're busy."
"You just--we don't know each other! You've never even met me before today!"
"We can have lunch after," Jared says. "But, seriously, I'm all lubed up and ready to go. You should definitely come in here and fuck me. You can yell at me about being loud while we do it. Maybe spank me a little."
"Jesus Christ," says Jensen, rubbing his face.
Jared just grins. "That's a yes, right?"
*
"So, he was single, and now you're dating him," Danneel summarizes.
"Apparently," says Jensen.
"Huh," she says. She pauses. "So, are you loud?"
"What?"
"I mean, now that he's got a partner, are you as loud as he is, or is he still making all the noise? Or did you quiet him down?"
Jensen turns bright red. "We are not talking about this."
"I'm just wondering if you guys are being loud enough that some hot guy who lives below you is going to come and complain and it'll end up as a threesome. Because if so, dibs on filming that porno."
"I hate you," says Jensen. He rubs his face. "The woman who lives below me is named Mrs. Henderson. She's about seventy." He pauses. "And she already complained."
Danneel cackles. "Oh, honey. I'm so proud of you."
"Shut up," Jensen grumbles.
