(no subject)

[longsufferingly]

Title: There's New News On the Internet!
Author: poor_choices
Fandom: Supernatural RPS
Pairing: Jared Padalecki/Jensen Ackles
Rating: PG.
Warnings: References to homophobia.
Word Count: 1300.
Summary: Timestamp for Live Free Or Twihard. Jared gets some troubling news.
Notes: Written for mercuryblue144 for fandomaid! I hope you enjoy it :D Title from Penny Arcade.
Disclaimer: Lies and untruths.


Jensen gets home from class to find Jared in his bed, which is not that uncommon. Unlike most days, however, Jared is fully clothed and not reading or on his laptop. Instead, he's face down, head buried in the pillow, with both his arms flung out in the most over-dramatic way possible.

"Rough day, champ?" Jensen asks, slinging his bag onto his desk and taking his own laptop out.

"The worst thing ever happened," Jared says, voice muffled by the pillow.

"No it didn't, you're not a zombie," says Jensen.

Jared pauses. "Okay, worst thing not involving apocalypses or anyone's actual death," he says.

"Your family's visiting?"

"Worse."

The last time Jared's family visited, they didn't actually talk to Jared once. It was family day, and they came and did all the activities, but refused to touch him or interact with him in anyway. And they all wore Team Jacob shirts and gave him pamphlets on how Bella Swan cured homosexuality. It had been pretty bad.

"Worse? What could possibly be worse?"

Jared rolls over, giving Jensen a baleful look. "My mom got a book deal."

Jensen blinks. "A book deal. Like--"

"Like she's writing a young adult novel that will be published. By a legitimate publishing house."

"How legitimate?"

"Knopf," says Jared. "So--legitimate legitimate."

Jensen sits down on the bed, hard. "Are you sure she isn't trolling? She trolls a lot."

"That was my first thought too," says Jared, grabbing his laptop. "But she actually linked to the preorder page from the publisher." He makes a face. "Honestly, I don't know how she kept quiet about it this long." He sighs. "I guess I'm just really out of her circle now."

Jensen frowns, going over to the bed to sit down next to Jared and wrap his arm around him. His own family has been--well, his family. His father constantly sends him links to bad slash with all-caps messages like IS THIS REALLY WHAT YOU WANT OUT OF YOUR LIFE, his mother still calls him up whenever she needs a sock puppet, and his sister is slowly, secretly, starting to read Smallville fic. Smallville het, admittedly, but given that Smallville is still banned in the house due to excessive slashiness, he figures it's a start.

Jared's family doesn't talk to him at all, and Jensen would have thought that was an improvement. But not really.

Jared smiles, leaning into Jensen's touch. "First-time author Aurora Hemlock--" Jensen cuts him off with a snort, and Jared's smile widens. "Yeah, I know. Best penname ever. Anyway, first-time author Aurora Hemlock brings us Everglow, the stirring tale of Clarissa Withershins, a teen girl thrust into the world of magic. After her parents' divorce, Clarissa, distraught and angry, flees her home and finds herself tangled up in the ancient battle between trolls and fairies. But while the fairies at first glance seem glamorous and beautiful, Clarissa realizes their glittering world hides a dark underbelly, and the trolls may be her only chance for survival."

Jensen pauses. "Okay," he says. "One, that actually sounds kind of awesome."

Jared groans. "I know, right? I kind of want to read it. Except--my mom."

"Also, there's a ninety-percent chance that it's all going to be really thinly veiled homophobia." He shakes his head. "Evil fairies, I don't see how that could possibly go wrong."

Jared laughs. "I can't believe she's actually going to take the trolls' side, though. She hates trolls."

Jensen skims the page. "Oh, it says it's the first part of a trilogy. Of course. I bet you ten bucks that at the end of the first book it turns out both sides are wrong and she allies herself with the side that's really good: werewolves."

"No bet," says Jared. "Jesus. The anon meme is already going crazy."

"I bet my mom writes a rival book, just to spite her."

"I bet if you check your e-mail, your mom already wrote to tell you to make a sock puppet account to troll her."

"Good call," says Jensen, booting up his family e-mail. He snorts. "Jensen, I need you to start the first comm for that Team Jacob beeyotch's new book. Be the BNF in the fandom and destory it!! And another to start bashing now. We need to kill this thing asap. Call me about strategy. Can your boyfriend help? I knew you had this horrible affliction for a reason."

"Wow," says Jared. "Your family likes me better than mine does."

"Our love is a horrible affliction," Jensen points out.

"And yet, that's still better than my family," Jared says.

Jensen sighs. "Jared, your family are idiots. Not just because they're obsessive Twilight fans, not because they have incredibly stupid beliefs about everything, not because your mom really honestly thinks that she's had ten friends who suddenly show up, praise everything about her, grow close to her, get cancer, and die. Because they don't realize how amazing and perfect you are, and how much they don't deserve you. And I really hope someday they figure that out."

Jared smiles. "You're a good boyfriend. And I know that if they were talking to me, I'd be complaining about that too. I just--I don't even know. Let's just start a bunch of comms about my mom's new book."

"Is that therapy now?" Jensen asks, amused.

"It's totally therapy," says Jared. "Okay, good comm can be everlastingsquee. Is that fifteen characters?"

"Sixteen," says Jensen. He's made enough journals and comms at this point that he's like Rainman with character counts. "How about everlastinglove?"

"Probably already taken," says Jared, sighing. "How do you come up with this many names? I suck at names."

"I have a gift," says Jensen. "It's deleted and purged, I'll grab a rename token on my mom's card. She'll support it. We set that one up and then once it's got some traffic, we can do everlastinghate as the rival comm. You haven't lived until you've had a flamewar with yourself."

"For certain definitions of live," Jared says dryly. "Oops, everlastinghate is taken. By someone who lists here website as Vampire Freaks. Nice. Hasn't updated since 2005, of course."

"Of course," says Jensen, clucking his tongue. "How about everlastingsuck?"

"Not taken," says Jared.

"Awesome. I've got an old Team Jacob sock I don't use much, she's founding the pro-comm."

"Are you completely sure she never had cancer?"

"Yes," says Jensen. "I am a sock puppet god, okay? msscribe's got nothing on me."

"Of course not," says Jared. "I can't wait for your bad_penny report."

"Whatever, I'm totally going to write my own. From yet another sock puppet. It'll be awesome."

Jared snorts. "Obviously. Nothing is awesome like making a sock puppet to blow the whistle on your other sock puppets. Send me the link to the comm to join when you're done, I want my mom to see I'm supporting her."

"Got it," says Jensen. "Just getting Paint fired up for icons."

"You know, this was not what I thought getting a boyfriend would be like. Afternoons on the computer, trolling the anon meme, having fake flamewars with ourselves..."

"We can make out if you want," Jensen says absently, posting to the team_jacob_hq LJ comm before he IMs Jared the link. It'll look weird if he joins before anyone even knows about it.

Jared laughs softly. "No, I--you're so much better than I ever imagined, you know?"

Jensen swallows, unexpectedly moved by the admission. "Yeah, I know," he says, just as soft. He clears his throat. "How many e's should I put in squee in my intro post?" he asks. "I don't want to overdo it."

Jared laughs, louder and stronger. "At least seven. No more than fifteen."

"Seven total or seven additional?"

"Go with seven additional," says Jared. "Nine total."

"Can I make it sparkle, or would that be threatening to Jacob fans?"

"Better not risk it this early," says Jared. "Want to have sex after this?"

Jensen considers. "I don't know," he says, mock-serious. "Someone is being wrong on the internet--" he cuts off, laughing, when Jared smacks him. "Yes, dumbass."

"And after that we'll flame people."

"Well, yeah," says Jensen, shutting his laptop. "Obviously."