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longsufferinglyThis is just a small, stupid fic about AOL's hottest hunks list. Because I'm kind of a dork.
"Chad," says Jared, with the gravity of someone who has had a conversation too many times, and is going to have it too many more times, "Vancouver is still three hours behind North Carolina. You need to call later." He rubs his eyes, because calls from Chad always last longer than he wants them to. Especially calls early Saturday morning.
"Shut up and put your boyfriend on," says Chad, positively gleefully.
Jared glances over to the other side of the bed, where Jensen has fallen back to sleep, having discovered that the call is not some kind of emergency he needs to deal with. "He's asleep," Jared points out.
"I'm a hotter hunk than him!" Chad crows, so loud Jared has to pull the phone away from his ear a little.
He glances back at Jensen, because this is the kind of statement that looking at Jensen for approximately 0.2 seconds will disprove. Jensen's got one arm thrown over his head, his mouth slightly open, his t-shirt dragging down a little to show his collar-bone. Jared is completely sure that no one, in the entire world, is hotter than Jensen. Even when he's drooling a little.
"No, you're not," says Jared, when he realizes he's been staring for a while. "Trust me."
"Tell AOL fucking television that," says Chad. "Cuz they know the truth."
"Did you really call me at," he fumbles around for his clock. "Eight a.m. on a Saturday to tell me that you're sexier than my boyfriend?"
"No, I called you at eleven on a Saturday to tell your boyfriend I'm sexier than him, but you won't wake him up."
"This is not more important than sleep," says Jared, rubbing his forehead.
"It so fucking is!"
And then, of course, Jensen stirs. Jared glares at the phone, even though Chad can't see it.
"Sup?" asks Jensen, voice heavy with sleep.
"That's him, isn't it?" asks Chad. "It is! Put him on!"
"Chad," mouths Jared, and then, when Jensen is clearly not awake enough to get it, he repeats it out loud.
"The hell does Chad want?" Jensen asks.
"You," Jared admits.
Jensen sighs, gets up, and rubs his eyes. "Okay, give it here."
Jared puts the phone on speaker instead. "Go ahead, Chad," he says. "Jensen can hear you."
"I'm sexier than you!" says Chad.
"Since when?"
"Since fucking always."
"I'm older than you," Jensen points out. "So I was being sexy before you were born."
"Gross," says Chad.
Jensen waves his hand. "What do you want, Chad?"
"For you to bow before my hunkiness!"
"If I tell you I'm doing that, will you go away?"
There's a long pause. "Why are you not pissed?"
"Because I don't care?" Jensen suggests.
Chad mutters some unsavory things and then hangs up.
Jared sort of stares at the phone for a minute.
Jensen flops back against the pillows, apparently content to go right back to sleep.
"You know you're sexier than Chad, right?" he asks.
"I know. Come on," he says, opening his arms invitingly, "we're going back to bed."
Jared can't disagree with that.
*
From: Jared's boyfriend
you know who's sexier than both of us? john stamos
From: Mayhem
fu
"Chad," says Jared, with the gravity of someone who has had a conversation too many times, and is going to have it too many more times, "Vancouver is still three hours behind North Carolina. You need to call later." He rubs his eyes, because calls from Chad always last longer than he wants them to. Especially calls early Saturday morning.
"Shut up and put your boyfriend on," says Chad, positively gleefully.
Jared glances over to the other side of the bed, where Jensen has fallen back to sleep, having discovered that the call is not some kind of emergency he needs to deal with. "He's asleep," Jared points out.
"I'm a hotter hunk than him!" Chad crows, so loud Jared has to pull the phone away from his ear a little.
He glances back at Jensen, because this is the kind of statement that looking at Jensen for approximately 0.2 seconds will disprove. Jensen's got one arm thrown over his head, his mouth slightly open, his t-shirt dragging down a little to show his collar-bone. Jared is completely sure that no one, in the entire world, is hotter than Jensen. Even when he's drooling a little.
"No, you're not," says Jared, when he realizes he's been staring for a while. "Trust me."
"Tell AOL fucking television that," says Chad. "Cuz they know the truth."
"Did you really call me at," he fumbles around for his clock. "Eight a.m. on a Saturday to tell me that you're sexier than my boyfriend?"
"No, I called you at eleven on a Saturday to tell your boyfriend I'm sexier than him, but you won't wake him up."
"This is not more important than sleep," says Jared, rubbing his forehead.
"It so fucking is!"
And then, of course, Jensen stirs. Jared glares at the phone, even though Chad can't see it.
"Sup?" asks Jensen, voice heavy with sleep.
"That's him, isn't it?" asks Chad. "It is! Put him on!"
"Chad," mouths Jared, and then, when Jensen is clearly not awake enough to get it, he repeats it out loud.
"The hell does Chad want?" Jensen asks.
"You," Jared admits.
Jensen sighs, gets up, and rubs his eyes. "Okay, give it here."
Jared puts the phone on speaker instead. "Go ahead, Chad," he says. "Jensen can hear you."
"I'm sexier than you!" says Chad.
"Since when?"
"Since fucking always."
"I'm older than you," Jensen points out. "So I was being sexy before you were born."
"Gross," says Chad.
Jensen waves his hand. "What do you want, Chad?"
"For you to bow before my hunkiness!"
"If I tell you I'm doing that, will you go away?"
There's a long pause. "Why are you not pissed?"
"Because I don't care?" Jensen suggests.
Chad mutters some unsavory things and then hangs up.
Jared sort of stares at the phone for a minute.
Jensen flops back against the pillows, apparently content to go right back to sleep.
"You know you're sexier than Chad, right?" he asks.
"I know. Come on," he says, opening his arms invitingly, "we're going back to bed."
Jared can't disagree with that.
*
From: Jared's boyfriend
you know who's sexier than both of us? john stamos
From: Mayhem
fu
