(no subject)

[longsufferingly]

1. I am heading off to Wincon tomorrow! I guess I will see some of you there; I will be the one following beckaandzac around like a confused duckling.

2. Holiday fic meme is closed and locked! The total number of drabbles for this year is 174, which is mildly terrifying. I'll be posting 5-6 drabbles a day for the month of December.

3. I wrote a little speed-dating ficlet for enablelove earlier, and I figured I'd post it here! J2, AU, 600 words, PG, no warnings <3


"I cannot believe you're making me do this," says Jensen, groaning.

"Come on!" says Jared. "It's going to be fun."

"The only girls who speed date are going to be desperate and lonely."

"Just like you!" says Jared brightly, giving Jensen a big, shit-eating grin.

"I am not fucking desperate."

"You are lonely. And twisted and sad and alone."

Jensen gives him the finger. "Shut up. Seriously, I cannot believe you paid for me to come with you on--Jared?"

"Yeah?"

Jensen fights to keep his voice steady. "Why is everyone in there a dude."

"Hello!" says a dude with really ugly blond highlights. "Welcome to Out Speed Dating! Are you guys registered?"

Jensen pulls Jared aside. "Dude," he hisses. "This is gay speed dating."

"Shit," says Jared. He gives Jensen a lopsided grin. "Well, we already paid?"

"We're not gay!"

"There's food?"

"Jared."

"Come on," Jared wheedles. "We're already here! We might as well stay, right? What's the harm?" He drags Jensen back to where the dude with the tips is looking kind of amused. "Yeah, we're registered. I'm Jared Padalecki, and this is Jensen Ackles."

"Padalecki and Ackles," the guy says, nodding. "Yup! Jared, you're in seat nine, Jensen, you're in seat 22. Have a great time, guys!"

"I am going to kill you," Jensen hisses.

"Oh, whatever. Let's get our food and get to our seats. It'll be fun!"

*

"Hi, I'm Jensen," Jensen says listlessly.

"Wow. You are pretty. Man. You must suck a dick like--"

"Yeah, this isn't going to work."

*

"My name is Misha Collins. Do you believe in aliens?"

"Uh," says Jensen. "Not really."

"They're out there," says Misha Collins earnestly. "And they're coming for us. If I were to conquer the world, what continent would you want to rule."

"Europe?" Jensen tries cautiously.

Misha Collins nods somberly. "I really am looking for a boyfriend who would be willing to rule Asia. Could that be you, Jensen Ackles?"

"No," says Jensen firmly. "Sorry."

*

"I don't actually like guys," says Jensen.

"Oh, me neither," says Jake Abel. "But my girlfriend loves guy-on-guy. You interested in a threesome later?"

"Not really."

"Your loss. She's a freak."

*

"Hey! Man, some of these guys are really awesome," says Jared, sliding into the seat across from Jensen.

"You're my speed date?" asks Jensen. "Dude, I already know you."

"You're supposed to meet everyone, man. That's how it works. Any prospects?"

"I don't like men."

"Really?" asks Jared. "You're sure?"

"They're all crazy. Or looking for threesomes. Or--crazy. Seriously."

"What about a non-crazy guy?" asks Jared. "I mean, someone you like, who's--your friend? And nice to you? And kind of bi-curious, maybe, and really fucking into you, and who maybe tricked you into coming to gay speed dating because he's too chickenshit to actually ask you out and--"

"Jared."

"Maybe someone a little taller than you?" Jared finishes hopefully.

"I changed my mind," says Jensen. "I am definitely into crazy guys."

"Oh," says Jared, looking a little confused.

"Cuz, fuck, Jared, you're nuts."

"Oh!" says Jared, brightening and grinning. "Yeah? You mean it?"

"Totally fucking certifiable. Want to get dessert?"

Jared laughs. "I thought you'd never ask."