(no subject)

[longsufferingly]

HAHAHA FML


I mean.

this happened!

Title: Everybody Waiting for Superman
Author: poor_choices
Fandom: Smallville
Pairing: Lex Luthor/Clark Kent
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Even more unbetaed than usual.
Word Count: 6800 8(
Summary: AU. In which Clark Kent is Clark Kent and Lex Luthor is kind of Bruce Wayne. A little bit. Title from Iron and Wine, by way of Nightmare of You.
Disclaimer: So not mine.


"Get me directions to Juniper," says Clark, a sudden buzz in Lex's ear.

Lex pushes away from the X-Box and wheels his chair to the computers, fingers flying over the keys. "I didn't hear about that," he says into the headset.

"I've got better hearing than you do," says Clark smugly.

Lex shakes his head. "Where are you?"

"On King, just passed--Elm?"

"Take your next left, next right, third right--"

"Got it," says Clark.

"You know, I'm not entirely sure you need a sidekick." Lex checks the computer for businesses near the crossroads. "The jewelry store?"

"Robbery," Clark confirms. "They didn't trip the alarms, but I heard them talking."

"Tell me when you want the police," says Lex, programming in the information for the auto-reader.

"Another few minutes," says Clark, and Lex can vaguely hear the sounds of a struggle.

"Three of them?" he asks, hearing the thumps as bodies hit the ground and then silence.

"Yeah, I'll just--" and then there's a loud groan, like Clark's actually hurt.

"Clark?" he asks. "Clark!"

"Something's wrong," says Clark, gritting it out. "I can't--I went to hit the burglar alarm and it's--"

"I'm coming over," says Lex, immediately. He glances at the map; it shouldn't be too long on the motorcycle, but it's Clark. Clark doesn't get hurt. "Keep talking, I need to know you're okay."

"I'm not," says Clark, sounding pained. "Something's--it's like my strength is draining away. I didn't get a chance to tie them up--"

"I'll be right there," says Lex. "Look around, what could be doing it?"

"I'm in--near the precious gems?" says Clark. "The most expensive stuff. They haven't--" he groans again. "I can't move."

"I'll be there in five minutes," says Lex, starting the motorcycle and speeding out of the garage.

Clark laughs weakly. "It doesn't do me any good if you get arrested for speeding."

"I could bribe my way out of that one." He considers, taking a hard right. "Have you ever felt anything like this before, Clark?"

There's a long pause during which all Lex can hear is Clark's labored breathing. "Don't laugh," he says finally.

"Clark, believe me when I say laughing is the last thing on my mind."

"Around Lana."

Lex generally laughs at Clark's incredible shyness, but he's never described it as a debilitating thing before. It was always just--nerves, Lex thought. "I didn't realize Lana Lang actually pained you."

"She's got this necklace," says Clark. "I think it's--" he cuts off. "Lex, one of them is--he's waking up, and I--"

"You can't even crawl away?"

"I'm trying," says Clark. "I haven't gotten very far."

"A few more minutes," says Lex. "What's the stone on her necklace?"

"It's green," Clark manages. "I can see--they have green stones."

"Emeralds?"

"I don't know."

"Hold on," says Lex, as calmly as he can.

"I hit him with my shoe," says Clark, sounding a little more like himself. "The one who was waking up."

"You're the MacGuyver of superheroes," says Lex. "Are you getting away?"

"Slowly. It hurts."

Lex leaves his bike outside a club a few doors down from the jewelry store and sprints over. "If I get you away from the jewel, how fast can you get us out?" asks Lex, looking at the unbroken glass on the front door.

"Fast," says Clark, instantly.

"Good," says Lex, and kicks the door open. The alarm starts blaring at once, but Lex ignores it, grabbing Clark by the arm and pulling him away from the display case with the rarest pieces. He can see Clark becoming more aware by degrees, his strength returning. "No time to tie them up," Lex says, seeing the burglars stirring. "Just get us out of here."

Clark picks him up effortlessly, a sensation Lex has never gotten used to, or examined his feelings for too closely. "Your bike?" he asks.

"At a club. I'll have a driver take me to it tomorrow. It wouldn't be the first time."

They're back home practically before Lex can blink.

*

The first day that changed Lex Luthor's life forever was the day when the meteor rocks hit.

He had been nine, in a helicopter with his father, too afraid to open his eyes, and the next thing he remembered clearly was waking up, six years older, not a hair on his body, and no idea what had happened to him.

His father had lost interest in him--he had another son, with a new mother, who at five-years-old was everything his father expected him to be, not a displaced teenager with the mind of a child. So Lex had been allowed to remain in Smallville under the care of a nanny, and enrolled in the public school there, something he considered to be a great affront to his dignity.

He outgrew the school quickly, his natural sharpness and ambition bringing him back into his father's eye as he advanced beyond the grade level he was assigned. By the time he was seventeen, he was back with private tutors, on the road to college, right on schedule despite the coma.

What Lex's father didn't know about was the second day that changed his life--the day he walked into his fourth grade classroom. As soon as he came in, his classmates stopped talking to stare at him, and he knew that was what every one of them had been discussing. Here he was, the billionaire's less-favored son, too old, too weird, a boy out of his place. They were all thinking of nothing but him.

Except--and this was the life-changing part--there was a dark-haired boy in the back corner reading Warrior Angel and not looking at Lex at all.

Lex held his head high, pretending he was not sixteen and not bald and that he was still the most important person who had ever lived because he was rich, and not because he was strange, and crossed the room to sit down next to the boy in the corner.

"I have the first ever Warrior Angel," said Lex, instead of saying hello.

"Really?" said the boy.

"Really," said Lex.

"I got the trades for the first ones, but not the comics," said the boy. "When I grow up, I'm gonna be a hero, just like Warrior Angel."

Lex nodded. "Me too."

The boy regarded him through his bangs, curious and a little thoughtful. "Maybe we could be a team," he said, almost shy.

If Lex was really the boy he used to be, the boy who was never in a coma, he would have said no. He would have said this strange boy in the red shirt and his left shoe untied could be the sidekick, and Lex would be the hero.

But he wasn't, and he needed this boy to like him more than he had ever needed anything.

"Yeah," said Lex. "We can be a team."

The boy grinned, a bright grin that made Lex feel warm all over, ridiculous like the sun coming out. Like Lex's whole life tilting, and becoming better. "I'm Clark," said the boy.

"Lex," he replied, and for the first time in his life, he didn't add Luthor.

*

The third day that changed Lex's life came when he was when he was eighteen. He was enrolled at Metropolis University, even though his father wanted him to go somewhere more prestigious, because Clark Kent was his best friend, and best friends as good as Clark were more important than anything else.

His father said he thought this because he really was still only twelve, deep down.

He'd been running across the street to meet Clark, and then there was the sound of sirens, a car going too fast, tires screeching, and Lex was about to die, he knew.

Until Clark saved him.

"I can just--" Clark explained later, twisting his hands nervously. "I can move fast. And I'm strong. Really strong." He licked his lips. "I'm not allowed to tell anyone. Ever. I wanted to tell you, but--"

"I understand," Lex said, his mind racing. Clark was--Clark was amazing. "I guess I have to be the sidekick," he says, with a rueful smile.

"Always were," Clark joked, effortlessly superior, and Lex laughed.

*

"Emerald," says Lex, getting an image up on the computer screen. "Is it that?"

"I'm not good at gemstones, Lex," says Clark. He's got a big mug of tea, but it still looks tiny in his hands. At sixteen, Clark Kent is huge, and it makes Lex antsy. Clark is the best friend Lex has ever had--not the only friend, not anymore, but still the best--and he doesn't like thinking about how he'd rather have Clark's hands on him than any girl's. "I just know it--I think it could kill me."

Lex looks away. "Your weakness," he says slowly, hating the way the words taste. Lex tried to refuse to help Clark with heroics in any kind of official fashion until he was eighteen, because Clark getting hurt was the worst thing he could think of, but Clark just did it anyway, and Lex realized he'd rather be there than let Clark be alone. He looks back to Clark, gives a cocky little shrug he doesn't feel. "Comics have taught us all heroes have one."

Clark laughs. "Yeah? What's yours?"

Lex looks at him, his kind, earnest face, his smile. "I'm human," he says lightly. "I'm nothing but weakness."

"You don't get sick," Clark points out.

"I don't get sick," Lex agrees. They've never figured that out. He had asthma when he was a kid, and he doesn't anymore. He had hair when he was a kid, and he doesn't anymore.

Clark is a mystery, a boy who came from nowhere the day the meteors hit, but Lex is a mystery too.

"But that's not much of a superpower," he continues, smiling. "I always wanted to be able to fly."

"Yeah, I know," says Clark. "Me too."

*

On his lunch break the next day, Lex heads back to the jewelry store. The glass on the door hasn't been replaced yet, but they're still open.

"Was there a robbery?" he asks the woman behind the counter, all surprised concern.

"An attempt, anyway," she says. "It was strange, the police arrived a few minutes after the alarm went off, but by the time they arrived the burglars were all unconscious on the ground. None of the merchandise had been touched."

"Lucky break," says Lex. He flashes her his most charming smile. "I'm looking for something very special for my girlfriend."

"I wasn't aware you had a girlfriend, Mr. Luthor," she says, a coy acknowledgement that she's recognized him, he thinks, and not a threat.

He smiles smoothly. "It's recent. But her birthday's coming, and I wanted to impress her. Something unique. She likes green."

The woman's eyes light up. "I have just the thing." She goes to the display case to her left, the one Clark had been beside last night. There's a whole shelf of brilliant green jewels, glittering in the afternoon sun. "It's a Smallville original, actually. Made from the meteor that hit thirteen years ago. It's a very difficult to work with stone, very beautiful, very rare."

Lex takes it in his hand, touches the edge of it. It doesn't feel extraordinary. "Does it have a name?" he asks.

"We call it Smallville Emerald," she says. "We're the only shore in town that sells it."

"It's lovely," says Lex, and all he can think is that this could kill Clark. He gives her another smooth smile. "I'll take all of it."

Her eyes widen. "All of it?"

"Every one you have."

"That's--quite a romantic gesture, Mr. Luthor."

"Well," says Lex, pulling out his credit card, "I'm quite a romantic."

*

After he graduated, Lex's father offered him a job. Entry-level, no perks--any power he wanted, he would have to earn. He'd nearly turned it down, but refusing his father would have been more than just losing a job. He knew he would have been cut off from the family's funds, and he needed those funds to work with Clark.

He hadn't told Clark that, of course. Clark wouldn't have heard of it, would have said Lex shouldn't have to work for his father just for him.

Clark has somehow missed that Lex would do anything for him.

*

"I got the jewel," says Lex. He's helping Clark move hay, pretending he thinks Clark needs it. Clark's never told his parents that Lex knows his secret. The idea of making Clark, the perfect son, lie to his parents fills Lex with a guilty thrill of pleasure.

"You figured out what it was?"

"And bought the store out," he says. "I'm going to have to find a girl to give a facsimile to."

"Why?" asks Clark.

"Did I buy it out or do I need a girl?"

"Both."

"Clark, it's your weakness. I don't want anyone getting their hands on it, even accidentally. The girl was my cover story."

"So what is it?"

"Smallville Emerald," says Lex. "Meteor rock." He cocks his head at Clark. "Weren't Lana's parents killed that day? I don't know why she'd want to wear it."

Clark has had a crush on Lana Lang since before he met Lex. It took Lex a very long time to realize he was jealous of her.

Clark shrugs, ill at ease. "I never asked."

"Apparently you couldn't," says Lex. "Maybe you can get her to take it off."

Clark looks away. "She wouldn't be interested in me anyway."

"Clark, I don't know why you're constantly selling yourself short. You're good-looking, you're intelligent, you're a gentleman--"

"I know, I know," says Clark, rolling his eyes. It isn't the first time they've had this conversation. Clark has this idea that he's unattractive, like he's never looked in a mirror before.

"Anyway," says Lex. "If you're willing to, it might make sense to do some testing. Just to see the effects the meteor rock has on you."

Clark thinks it over and nods finally. "Yeah. We want to know as much as we can." He licks his lips. "Do you remember Chloe Sullivan?"

"Blonde, with a crush on you?" asks Lex with a smirk.

"She doesn't have a crush on me," Clark protests. "She runs the Torch, the school newspaper."

"I remember her, Clark."

"She's--got this theory."

"Theory?"

"She was telling me about it after that girl froze her biology class. She thinks that the weird powers people have in this town--maybe they came from the meteor rocks."

"Did she tell you how she came up with this theory?" asks Lex, turning it over in his head. It's the common thread between him and Clark, after all--Clark, who can't remember his life before the meteor shower, and Lex, who lost six years of his. Both of them with powers, Clark's flashier and more marketable than Lex's. There's a symmetry to it.

"She's been tracking the unexplained phenomenons in town."

"Phenomena," says Lex absently. "And they started after the shower?"

"Yeah. Nothing before that. She thinks they give off some kind of radiation."

"Interesting," says Lex. "Does she know about you?"

"Of course not," says Clark. "No one knows but you."

Lex gets that guilty little thrill again.

"Mom wanted to know if you were staying for dinner," Clark continues, oblivious.

"Of course I am. I'll go tell her."

Clark sighs. "Don't flirt with my mom, Lex."

"I would never," says Lex innocently, and laughs when Clark sends him a mock-glare.

*

Lex goes on a date on Friday night with a girl he knew in college named Julie Richards. She's pretty and smart and has no interest in him at all romantically, and when he tells her his father is pressuring him to be seen with a woman because he heard Lex was making out with a guy in a club, she's happy to help out. She laughs when he presents her with the Smallville Emerald (replaced, of course, with a real emerald necklace) and happily tells anyone who asks where she got it.

The next day, Lex and Clark test the meteor rocks with Clark. Lex hates watching Clark get weaker and weaker, even as he knows it's a good idea.

But he can't help thinking--it doesn't add up. So the next day, he goes and visits Chloe Sullivan.

"Mr. Luthor?" she asks, looking surprised.

"Please, call me Lex. If you'd moved a little earlier, we would have been classmates."

"Lex," she says, warily.

"I've been doing research into the meteor shower thirteen years ago," says Lex. "Clark suggested I should ask you about some theories you have about it."

"Clark told you about me?" she asks, and Lex knows she's hooked. The idea that Clark Kent talks about her at all is enough to guarantee her cooperation, and it's only a few minutes before she's showing him her Wall of Weird.

"So the exposure to the meteor rocks is what gives people powers." Lex clucks his tongue. "And continued exposure strengthens their powers?"

"That can depend," says Chloe. "But they always go crazy, so I wouldn't suggest trying it."

"Crazy? The stone starts hurting them?" asks Lex.

"No," she says. "But I know people who--did things they wouldn't have done. Under the influence of the meteor rocks."

"But it's not all infected."

Chloe raises her eyebrows. "It's not?"

"Lana Lang wears a piece of it around her neck. As far as I know, she hasn't gone crazy and started killing anyone."

Chloe looks interested, and Lex feels a kind of grim, self-sacrificial satisfaction when Clark tells him on Monday that Lana stopped wearing her necklace. Lex doesn't tell Clark that there's no good reason, if the rocks are what gave him his powers, that they should hurt him now.

*

Clark's costume is sleek and black, form-fitting, and it mostly makes him look like a burglar. They don't want him to be conspicuous as a superhero, not yet. There have been no reports, no newspaper articles. Clark is sure his parents would recognize him instantly, and Lex can't disagree.

His own costume is more complicated, and takes more time. He has to move the money carefully, so his father won't know where it's going. He builds the final touches himself.

Lex might not have superpowers, not like Clark does, but he's smart and rich, and these days those are powers unto themselves.

"You already have names for us, don't you," says Clark, amused, when he sees Lex putting on his mask for the first time.

"I was thinking Man and Superman," says Lex, pulling on a glove.

Clark snorts. "We'll work on it."

"What?" says Lex, with a shit-eating grin. "Too pretentious?"

*

Clark doesn't have weaknesses, exactly--he's strong, he's fast, he can see through everything but lead, he has heat vision. He doesn't really need a partner.

But Lex is smarter than Clark, and brings the kinds of things Clark doesn't think about wanting--rope, grappling hooks, knock-out gas, mace, a GPS--and resigns himself cheerfully to playing backup.

If only, Lex thought contentedly as he sped after Clark on his motorcycle, his father could see him now.

*

Lana Lang now works at the Talon, which means that Clark wants to go there all the time. Lex finds it somewhere between endearing and enraging. Lana smiles at Clark just as much as she smiles at everyone, but she doesn't particularly favor him. Lex thinks Clark should probably date her. He's been building Lana up in his mind for so long, she can't possibly live up to his expectations. And then he'll realize that Lana Lang is not actually what he wants.

"Have you thought about asking her out?" Lex asks, when Clark brings him his drink from the counter.

"Would you let it go already?" snaps Clark, and Lex is taken aback.

"Clark, I didn't--"

"I'm not you, Lex. I can't just--I'm not good with girls. I've never even been on a date!"

Intellectually, Lex knows that. If Clark had been on a date, he would've freaked out about it for hours. That's how Clark is.

"It's a lot like this, only with a girl," says Lex. "Or a boy, if you want. It's just talking, Clark. Or a movie. Then you don't have to talk."

"Lana's--she's been the most popular girl in our class forever," says Clark. "I don't think she wants to date someone who's never even kissed a girl."

"I'm sure she'd be glad to give you pointers."

"Let's just not talk about Lana," Clark mumbles, and Lex lets it go.

*

Lex's father comes to Smallville once every few weeks to argue with him about his life, and it always leaves Lex feeling bitter, annoyed, and impotent. Someday, he's going to be so rich he doesn't need Lionel, so rich he doesn't need a family besides Clark, but for now, he knows that he needs his father's help to keep Clark safe.

As soon as his father leaves, Lex gets drunk. Most nights he'll have a glass of wine or two, with dinner, because it's what's expected, but when family gets involved, Lex goes straight for the gin.

Clark calls after he's lost track of how many shots he's had.

"Are we going out tonight?" asks Clark.

"Not unless you're giving me a ride," says Lex. "I am not safe to drive."

There's a pause. "Are you drunk?" Clark asks.

"My father came to visit," says Lex. "I am a disgrace to the Luthor name."

"I think that's a good thing," says Clark, who's suddenly right there next to him.

"That is very disconcerting for the drunk," says Lex. "People coming out of nowhere. I should get you a collar with a bell."

"You shouldn't let him do that to you," says Clark, taking the shot out of Lex's hand. "Get to you like that."

"You wouldn't understand," says Lex. "Your father loves you."

Clark brings him a bottle of water and pushes it into his hands. "Your father loves you too, Lex. He just shows it differently."

Lex laughs, long and hard. "No, he doesn't. He's been disappointed with me since before the coma, and after that he gave up on me entirely."

"He hired you," says Clark. "Drink."

"He wants to control me."

"So quit," says Clark. "I don't know why you started working for him in the first place."

"To take care of you," says Lex. "Help you."

"I don't need taking care of," says Clark, but he doesn't sound upset.

"I want to," says Lex. He grabs Clark's sleeve, because this is important. Clark has to understand. "I do."

Clark's tongue darts out between his lips, and Lex watches. Clark would come, if he pulled down. Even though Clark is so much stronger, Clark would let Lex pull him down and--

"Okay," says Clark. He smiles. "Right now, I want to take care of you. I don't want you calling tomorrow to tell me about your hangover."

"You can say I told you so," says Lex magnanimously.

Clark laughs. "I'm holding you to that."

*

The next morning, Lex wakes up early and stumbles in to the kitchen to make himself a hangover cure. It isn't until he's on the way to the bathroom with a cup of coffee that he sees Clark on the couch, wrapped up in a red blanket.

Red looks good on him, Lex thinks absently. Maybe, when he's a real superhero, he can have some red.

*

To apologize for being drunk and weird, Lex decides to get Clark a date with Lana Lang.

He's thinking the direct approach will work: just tell her he's hoping to set her up with Clark on a blind date, because Clark is too shy to ask her out himself. It's the kind of thing most girls would find endearing, he thinks, and Lana definitely seems like the type.

It's so easy it's actually embarrassing, really. She's clearly flattered by the idea of Clark's attention, and when Lex suggests the two of them have a dinner date, she agrees so readily he has to worry she might actually be interested in Clark.

But, as it turns out, Clark is the hard one.

"You what?" he asks.

"I got you a date with Lana Lang," says Lex calmly. "Tomorrow night. Dinner."

"Why would you--Lex, I can't believe you!"

"What?"

"I told you to let it go!" Clark shouts.

Lex stares. "Wow, Clark. I'm so sorry I got you a date with the girl you've been in love with for years. I can't believe I was such an insensitive friend."

Clark looks back at him, and there's a long moment where Lex thinks Clark might actually hit him. He finds himself bracing for impact, knowing that Clark could kill him with a blow.

Instead, he gets up and storms out without a word, and Lex has to wonder what the fuck just happened.

*

They don't talk for a week after that. It's the longest Lex has ever gone without Clark since they met, and it's a struggle to not call him up and apologize for everything he can think of until he hits on what he actually did wrong.

*

When he finally sees Clark again, it's after work. Clark is sitting in his study in the dark, looking surprisingly small and young.

"Hi," says Lex, cautiously. It's not the first time Clark has let himself in, and Lex has never minded, but he would have expected a call first.

"I'm not human," says Clark.

Lex stares. "What?" It's about the last thing he was expecting.

"I was--I was asking my dad about the meteor rocks," Clark admits. "Why they would hurt me, why I--why I'm like this. And I caused the meteor shower, Lex. He showed me my space ship."

It takes a long time for Lex to process this, and as he does he goes to the liquor cabinet and pours Clark a glass of scotch on auto-pilot. Clark isn't really a drinker, even when Lex offers to throw him wild parties to get him in with the popular kids, but he takes the glass gratefully now.

"Are you okay?" is what Lex finally asks. He's thought a lot about what Clark is, moreso since he realized that he and the others mutated by the meteor rocks had no reaction to them. Alien had crossed his mind, once or twice, but he hadn't thought there would be any way to prove it. Nothing like a space ship, for example.

Clark laughs. "I thought I just lost my memory," Clark admits. "Even after all the crazy things I can do, I thought--maybe I was just a normal orphan. I got caught in the meteor shower, and I lost my memory, and my parents found me." He looks down at the glass in his hands. "Stupid, yeah."

"It's--I understand, Clark." He smiles. "I read a lot more science fiction than you do, and I still didn't ever seriously think you were an alien," he teases.

Clark bites his lip. "I'm sorry," he says. "For being so pissed about the Lana thing. I know you were trying to help."

"I should have let you go at your own pace," says Lex carefully. It's the most likely explanation he's come up with, that Clark was embarrassed to come across as too pathetic to set up his own dates.

Clark laughs a little. "Lex."

"I was just--"

"Taking care of me," Clark supplies.

"Trying to help," Lex corrects.

"I'm not--" Clark starts. He's blushing faintly. "I'm not interested in Lana, Lex. Not anymore."

Lex blinks. "The date was that bad?"

"Since before that," says Clark. "She's just--" he shrugs, awkwardly. "I got over it. We agreed to be just friends."

Lex doesn't quite know how to process that. It's surprisingly--mature.

"I told my parents about the superhero thing," Clark says, when Lex doesn't respond. "About our team."

"Oh?" asks Lex. Clark's parents love him, but he doesn't know how they'll feel about Lex knowing about Clark and his powers. The secret that no one else knows. "What do they think?" he continues.

"They said I had to stay in Smallville until I graduated," says Clark, wrinkling his nose.

Lex can't help a laugh. "With the mutants around here, I think Metropolis and burglars might be safer."

"I was thinking we could go out tonight," says Clark hesitantly. "See how we like patrolling Smallville."

It's a peace offering, an attempt to return to themselves, and Lex is willing to take it. He grins at Clark. "I think we have to worry about that crack reporter from the Torch," he says. "She's quite--dedicated."

Clark smiles hopefully. "All superheroes need their own personal reporters, right?"

And just like that, they're back.

*

Lex goes out with Julie a few more times, enough that the press picks it up. Julie finds the attention useful--she's a stage actress in Metropolis and finds the free publicity useful. Lex doesn't mind being seen again either; he thinks he's been a little low profile lately, and everyone would be less likely to connect him to superheroes if they had something else to connect him to. He goes on a few more quick dates with pretty, vapid women, just to keep anyone from thinking he's gone monogamous on them.

He doesn't sleep with any of them, and does his best to not think about why not.

"Metropolis's favorite billionaire playboy is back," says Clark, glancing up from the newspaper he's reading at the farmer's market when Lex ambles over.

Lex gives Clark a tight smile. "I prefer Lex."

"You made the front page of local news," Clark continues, holding up the paper.

"Oh, I'm sure that's just because there weren't any loose cows last night," Lex says. He cocks his head at Clark. "You can't possibly be upset."

"I just thought you were over this."

"Over what, exactly?" Lex asks. He's not even being an asshole, he doesn't actually understand what Clark's problem is with this.

"Nevermind," Clark mutters. "Are you buying or just visiting?"

Clark always asks, and he always knows the answer. Lex has never left without buying a little something, even if the Kents try to tell him he never has to pay. He's never made them his charity case, never gives them money, except with Clark and the superhero thing, and that's as much for him as it is for Clark.

"I need some apples," says Lex, starting to look through the bin for the nicest, ripest ones. Just because he's helping out doesn't mean he wants a bad product.

Clark rolls his eyes and goes back to the newspaper, and it makes Lex's skin prickle, knowing that Clark is reading about him. It's weird.

"Morning, Lex," says Mr. Kent, and Lex looks up and smiles. The Kents were wary at first, when he and Clark became friends, because he was older even if he didn't know it, and he was a Luthor even if he was all but disowned. Still, the Kents have a soft spot for strays--they take in aliens, after all--and they couldn't resist a poor boy whose father didn't love him anymore. But it's the first time he's seen them since they found out he knew about Clark, and he has to worry a little.

"Good morning, Mr. Kent."

Mr. Kent laughs. "Jonathan," he says, and it's an old fight that he will never win. "How's work going?"

"I'm enjoying it," Lex admits. Every time he says it, it's a surprise. He'd wanted to get away from what his father does, from the business, but it seems like it really is in his blood. Clark looks up at that, a strangely pleased expression in his eyes. When Lex remembers he actually told Clark the reason he was working for his father, the look makes sense again.

Clark Kent: too nice to be real.

"That's good," says Mr. Kent. He glances at Clark. "And the other job?"

Lex grins and hands Clark a bag of apples. "I'm liking that even more."

*

The night his father offers him the promotion is the first night Lex goes out on patrol alone. His suit isn't designed with combat in mind--the assumption was always that Clark would be the brawn and Lex would be the brains. He'd suggested having a gun with him, but Clark had vetoed it immediately. He almost got one anyway, but he doesn't enjoy lying to Clark.

He's a good fighter, though, training from his father and sparring with Clark, who uses only a portion of his strength. Without his powers, Clark had no technique at all at first, relying on brute strength with no strategy at all.

Brains and brawn, Lex likes to think. He's needed.

Since he doesn't have Clark he just patrols around Metropolis. He finds a purse-snatcher around ten o'clock and corners the guy in an alley. He sees red and his father and so much anger he's afraid he'll explode, and he comes to himself when he realizes the guy's been unconscious for a while.

He calls 911 and reports a beating, instead of a robbery, and then throws up three alleys over, where no one will connect the two events.

It's the first time he realizes he needs Clark to be a hero. Not because Clark has the powers, but because Clark has the goodness.

*

Lex gets woken up by a call early on a Saturday.

"Mr. Luthor, what do you have to say about Miss Gray's statements?"

"I have no comment," says Lex automatically. He has no idea what she's talking about, and he struggles to get out of bed so he can research immediately. "If you call this number again, I will take legal action." He hangs up, notes the number, and pulls on a shirt.

His Google alerts have him covered--Bonnie Gray, a girl he went on one date with, has come out saying he's gay. It's nothing new, exactly, but it's strange to see it given that he hasn't slept with a guy in over a year. She's clearly just upset that he wouldn't fuck her, and that she didn't get to be as much of a story as she wanted to be. His phone rings again and he checks to make sure he doesn't know the number before ignoring it.

Everything she says is a lie, and Lex leans back, considering his next move. His first impulse is to destroy her, naturally. But he thinks that would be hasty. He isn't gay--bisexual with a theoretical preference for men that isn't reflected by his conquests. All it took was one time calling his one-night stand Clark by accident to make him realize that was too risky.

His mind isn't made up when his father calls.

"We're suing for libel," Lionel says immediately.

"No, we're not," says Lex, half-kneejerk reaction to his father and half-genuine. "I'm coming out."

His father doesn't respond for so long Lex thinks he might have hung up. The idea gives him some grim satisfaction.

"It's true?" asks his father tightly.

"Not entirely," says Lex easily. "But now seems like an appropriate time."

"We're suing for whatever isn't true," says Lionel. "I won't have lies about this family given consideration."

He does hang up this time, and Lex calls his publicist to sort out the details. By the time he's hung up, he has a message from Clark, and he doesn't check it before he calls back.

"Why are reporters calling me to ask about--Miss Gray?"

"She says I'm gay," says Lex. "What did you tell them?"

"No comment, like always," Clark says obediently. Their friendship isn't secret or anything, he's used to getting called about Lex's indiscretions. "You're suing?"

"My father wants to. I'm planning to come out."

He expects the hangup, and pours a glass of water to give to Clark when he arrives a few seconds later.

"By the way, I'm bisexual," says Lex, casually.

"And you never told me?" asks Clark. He looks confused and hurt. Lex feels guilty. He never feels guilty with any of his other friends. Clark is just--Clark is special. Obviously.

"I never came up with a good way," says Lex honestly. He always thought he wouldn't tell Clark that he liked men so much as he would tell Clark--well, whatever he would tell Clark.

"I don't mind," Clark says, quickly. He's flushing, and Lex remembers that Clark is young, and he is old, and it's always odd, remembering that. "I mean, I've--sometimes I think--" he licks his lips. "Anyway," he says, looking away. "I wish you'd told me."

Lex doesn't comment on Clark's outburst, happy with the halted and stuttering admission. He doesn't really need more, not now.

"I'm sorry," he says. His phone is ringing again--his lawyer. "I have to deal with this. You can stay, but I don't think I'll be good company."

Clark nods. "Yeah. Um--good luck, I guess."

And he's gone.

*

Lex comes out relatively quietly. His official story is that, while Miss Gray's statements were inaccurate and libelous, he is bisexual. He talks his father out of suing anyone.

It feels surprisingly good.

*

Smallville is, both bogglingly and completely unsurprisingly, more dangerous than Metropolis. It's kind of exhilarating at first, tracking down the meteor mutants, feeling like the villains are super too, like it really is a comic book.

That's before Lex realizes that some of the mutants still have rocks in them, in their skin or their blood or somewhere.

Somewhere they can hurt Clark.

The boy--Lex never bothered to learn his name, just his power, controlling plants, has a greenhouse full of plans grown in soil made of the rocks, and when they wrap around Clark, Lex has to watch him go limp and helpless.

His fingers itch for a gun, but he's got nothing but himself, and he launches himself at the boy, hitting him so hard that they go through the glass and iron of the building. Lex lands heavily on top of him, barely manages to check his pulse to make sure he's alive before he's staggering to his feet. Without instruction, the plants have relaxed their hold, but the rocks are still everywhere, and Clark looks gray in the dim moonlight.

"Come on," says Lex, more to himself than to Clark. He's scratched and bleeding himself, but Clark is dying, and Clark is what matters.

Clark is the hero, Lex is the sidekick.

Lex manages to get him out of the greenhouse into the grass. He pats Clark's cheek, too soft to be a slap, and increases the pressure as Clark doesn't respond.

"Please, come on, wake up," says Lex. "Clark, wake up."

Clark lets out a quiet noise, a moan, like he's waking up from a dream. "Lex?" he asks, muzzily. Lex can see his eyes open behind his mask, dim but aware.

"Thank god," says Lex, and there's something like a skip in time, because there must be an instant before that and his lips against Clark's, but he doesn't know what happened during it. He knows Clark's lips are cool but getting warmer, and that they're the only point of contact--lips against lips and nothing else, and Lex doesn't pull away only because it's already done. He might as well enjoy it.

There's a long minute of nothing, and then Clark's hand, clumsy on his head, heat he can feel even through the spandex hood of his costume. Not pushing him away, but keeping him there, keeping him close. A fumbling attempt to reciprocate that jolts Lex, reminds him--this is Clark's first kiss.

And he's kissing back.

It's that which makes Lex pull back, a breath between them, because if Clark is kissing back, then this won't be his only chance.

"So I won't apologize," says Lex, and Clark laughs, chases his mouth to kiss him again, quickly.

"You should go to a hospital."

"No wonder you've never had a girlfriend," says Lex dryly. "Your sense of romance could use some work."

"You know why I've never had a girlfriend," says Clark. And Lex hadn't, had no idea, but now he does, and he smiles.

"I should go to a hospital," he agrees, and Clark laughs.

*

Clark, of course, wants to talk about it once Lex is out of the hospital.

"This belief you have that you're unattractive is completely ridiculous," says Lex.

Clark smirks. "I can tell you don't like this conversation because you're breaking out the big words," he says smugly. "Also, you're blushing."

Lex glares at him. He doesn't care about things like how long and why. He just wants to have Clark now.

He says as much, but with more kissing, and more trying to get Clark's shirt off, in a way that might not cover what he really means by "have."

But Clark says, "You always had me," so it must have.

*

"I like Superman," Clark admits a few weeks later.

Lex grins. "And what about me?"

"Mrs. Superman?" Clark suggests innocently.

Lex laughs. "Oh, like hell."