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[personal profile] longsufferingly
Title: For What It's Worth, I Think There's Nobody Like You
Author: [livejournal.com profile] poor_choices
Fandom: Teen Wolf
Pairing: Danny/Stiles, background Lydia/Jackson and Scott/Allison
Rating: Hard R.
Warnings: None I can think of. If I missed any, please let me know!
Word Count: 4800.
Summary: AU. It's not exactly that Lydia wants to set Danny up with her high school friend, it's more that she doesn't want to deal with him, and she'd rather make Danny do it.
Notes: I guess I find Stiles and Danny adorable? I didn't realize. It's exciting to learn new things about ourselves! Title from the Corrs.
Disclaimer: Not mine, please don't sue.

"So, here's what you're going to do."

Lydia has this habit of starting conversations partway through, like they had been talking for a while about whatever problem she was having. After eight years, it doesn't even phase Danny anymore.

"About what?" he asks.

"Did you order yet?" Lydia says, ignoring him. "You got my text, right? Ceasar salad with chicken and--"

"Mineral water with lime," says Danny. "I ordered."

"Good, I don't have much time. So, this guy, Stanley, wants to hang out."

"Who's Stanley?"

"Maybe not Stanley," says Lydia. "But something like that."

The waitress comes by with their drinks, and Danny takes a grateful gulp of beer. The first time Lydia set up a lunch meeting with him, he ordered water, because he thought he'd stopped drinking at lunch on weekdays after he graduated from college.

Halfway through that meal, he had to order a shot. Never let it be said Danny doesn't learn from experience.

"Who's Stanley?" Danny asks again.

"He's this guy. We went to high school together. Now he's living in New York and wants to be friends," she says, like friendship is the worst thing in the world. "I swear, I am going to get so much more selective about Facebook friending, I don't have time for this. This is why my Facebook picture is me with Jackson, so other guys will realize I am so out of their league. I don't know what's wrong with Stanley."

"What does this have to do with me?" Danny says. He doesn't doubt that, in Lydia's mind, he is deeply involved in this problem. In Lydia's mind, he's pretty sure, everyone is deeply involved in her problems, like she's the star of her own show about having it all in the big city, and everything always comes back to her.

"You can go out with him," says Lydia.

Danny has some more beer. "Is he gay?"

"Probably," says Lydia.

"Is this based on anything?" He's worked hard to phrase this correctly; ever since Lydia found out he liked boys, she's been trying to hook him up with every guy who hits on her. It very rarely works out for anyone. Except maybe Lydia.

"He's dorky and probably a virgin and you are a hot computer programmer. He'll be gay for you." She doesn't give him time for any further protests. "We're getting drinks tonight. You, me, Stanley, Jackson. Eight o'clock. Wear that black button down, you look great it that."

Danny looks at his beer. He really can't have another. Just because he works from home doesn't mean he doesn't work. So instead he drains his glass and says, "Where?"


Danny does programming for a giant IT company, which is pretty awesome. He only has to go in twice a month or so, and the rest of the time he can skip the train and just hang out at home and has plenty of time to meet Lydia for bizarre lunch things. Mostly, it's an awesome job.

But then Stiles came along.

Stiles started a couple weeks ago. Danny hasn't actually met him yet, because they're never in the office at the same time, but he's constantly getting ghcat messages, because Stiles is a crazy person. He doesn't report to Danny, but someone at some point told him that if he had questions, Danny was the person to ask. Danny doesn't know if this person hates him, or just wanted to get Stiles as far away from themselves as possible, but either way, if he ever finds out who it was, he's never going to forgive them.

s.stilinski: dude!
d.mahealani: I'm busy, Stiles. I'm set to busy.
s.stilinski: who coded this? my blind grandma codes better
d.mahealani: The icon next to my name is red.
s.stilinski: i know u didnt code it, u leave awesome comments
s.stilinski: i liked the one about project runway
s.stilinski: mondo WAS robbed
d.mahealani: What do you need, Stiles?
s.stilinski: what would u wear if u were going to see the girl of your dreams for the first time in 8 years?
d.mahealani: I'm gay.
s.stilinski: so u know EXACTLY what i should wear
d.mahealani: I don't even know what you look like. Choose something that flatters you, but isn't too aggressive. Is this someone you had a relationship with?
s.stilinski: i worshiped from afar
d.mahealani: Then just don't look like a stalker.

He refrains from adding, and don't be you. He's hoping some of Stiles' weirdness is just from being in a new place. Once he settles in, he'll probably be calm and professional and normal.

Danny doesn't think of himself as an optimist, exactly. Life just sucks a lot more if you think about all the ways it might not get better.


"I'm only staying for twenty minutes," Jackson says, when Danny shows up. He's dressed to impress, a suit that screams, "I make more in a month than you will ever make in your entire lifetime and the next," clean-shaven and perfectly put together. Lydia adores Jackson, and Danny still can't figure out why Jackson feels so territorial. Especially if Stanley is a dorky maybe-virgin. That's the opposite of Lydia's type.

"Okay," says Danny, not exactly surprised. Lydia has this fondness for dive bars that Jackson doesn't share. Tonight's place is no exception--Jackson's probably worried he's going to get mugged. "Where's Lydia?"

"Running late," says Jackson, rolling his eyes. "Conference call."

Jackson is successful because his family is rich, and he has incredible connections. Danny is in good financial shape because he's great with computers and has a steady job.

Lydia is getting her PhD, but she's apparently so smart she's also already employed, and doing mathematics so advanced that it doesn't even look like math anymore. There are no numbers at all. Lydia is the smartest, most driven person Danny has ever met. He mostly respects it, even though she's terrifying. She's going to take over the world one of these days.

"Hi, are you Danny and Jackson?" says a guy. He's a little dorky, but Danny works in IT, so he's used to that. He has a friendly, open smile, but it's a little nervous. He looks--well, Lydia's certainly tried to set him up with worse guys. The longer Danny looks at him, the hotter he gets. It's a little confusing. "Lydia texted, she said she'd be late, but I could meet you guys here? I'm Stiles, we--"

"Stiles?" says Danny, vaguely horrified.

"Yeah, me and Lydia went to high school together." He extends his hand. "Stiles Stilinski."


Stiles talks exactly like he IMs, except that it's hard to convey saying u instead of you in actual conversation. As soon as he finds out who Danny is, he pretty much ignores Jackson and just goes on and on about work, and how he's settling in, and how great and helpful Danny has been.

To Danny's horror, Stiles is kind of endearing in person. His rambling is cute, when combined with his voice and his gesticulations, and it's not as if he isn't making good points. With a beer and a booth, it's kind of nice. Their company doesn't encourage the kind of culture where you go out drinking with your coworkers on a Friday night, and Danny finds he likes it.

Even when Lydia shows up, Stiles doesn't break stride too much. He got hired because Greenberg, their last programmer, was awful, and now Stiles pretty much has to pick up the pieces of his project. Apparently the opportunity to complain about this is even more exciting than Lydia Martin.

"And he confused C++ and Java!" Stiles is saying, gesticulating wildly. His beer slops on his hand, and Danny gets a little distracted when he absently sucks it off. "How can you have a degree and do that? How do you not remember what language you're programming in?" He's having a good enough time that it's a surprise when Stiles finishes with, "Wow, I really screwed this up."

"No, Greenberg did," says Danny. "You're fixing it."

"No, not the program," says Stiles. "Lydia left."

Danny looks around, and then looks at his watch. They've been here over an hour, and Lydia and Jackson are nowhere to be seen.

"Oh," says Danny, surprised he didn't notice.

Stiles sighs, sprawling out over his side of the bench with exaggerated drama. Danny doesn't know how he manages to take up so much space. "I mean, it was stupid anyway. I didn't have a chance. Not if her boyfriend looks like that."

"Fiance," he corrects absently. "What do you mean?"

"Girls don't pick guys like me over guys like him," Stiles says, but it's not exactly bitter. It's like it's the story of his life, but he gets it, and he's not angry.

Danny shrugs. "If he's her type, you're probably not, yeah," he says. There's probably not a lot of overlap between girls who want guys like Jackson and girls who want guys like Stiles. "But he's not everyone's type." Stiles gives him a look, and Danny says, for no good reason, "He's not my type."

Stiles keeps looking at him for a long minute, like he wants to say something else, but when he speaks again, it's back to work. "So why did you even hire that guy?" he asks, and Danny has to laugh.


"So Scott can't get mad at me," Stiles is saying, as they stumble to the train. It's Friday, no work tomorrow, and Danny's drunker than he has been in a while. It's not unpleasant.

"Who?" he asks.

"Scott! My best friend. He's here with his girlfriend, so I moved here, and he was like, Lydia! And I was like, no! But he said I should get, I dunno, closure."


"And I did, right? She left with her fiance. That is closed. But I made a friend! So I did okay."

"Okay," Danny agrees. "Am I the friend?" he asks.

Stiles rolls his eyes. "No, I was talking to some other guy all night," he says. "Yes, you."

"Huh," says Danny. "Cool."


Lydia texts him at nine the next morning, which is entirely too early.

was he a virgin?

Danny blinks at his phone for a good five minutes, trying to figure out what the message means. Then it comes back. Stiles. The--whatever last night was. It was kind of like a date, but with a straight guy who's been pining for his best friend's fiance.

I didn't ask, he texts back. Why is Lydia awake? Danny doesn't spend much time trying to figure out what Lydia does with her life or why, but whenever he does, he realizes he has no idea.

you didn't want to know you devirginized him???

I didn't, Danny says, and a minute later, We just talked.

Lydia takes long enough to respond that Danny actually falls back to sleep. Finally, she says, oh, great.

Danny doesn't really know how to interpret that or respond, so he gets up, drinks two huge glasses of water, and goes back to bed.


When Stiles calls, he's awake and feeling pretty human.

"What do you do for fun here?" he asks, without a greeting or anything. It's a little like talking to Lydia, weirdly enough. Danny wonders how he ended up with all these people who don't understand how conversations work.

"What do you mean?" asks Danny.

"I mean it's Saturday night and Scott and Allison are like this almost married blob," says Stiles. "They just want to stay home and have sex and watch Discovery Channel."

Danny's silent for a long minute, and then he finally asks, "At the same time?"

"I don't know! I've never been engaged. I don't know what they do. Their customs are strange to me. So, seriously, what do you do for fun?"

"I'm gay, Stiles. I go to gay bars."

"Those are still bars, right?"

Danny isn't entirely sure how to respond to that. He opens and closes his mouth a couple times, and then says, "Yes," a little cautiously.

"Okay," says Stiles. "So can I come out with you?"

Danny hadn't been planning to go out tonight. He never even bothered getting dressed. He's wearing pajamas and has a new shipment of DVDs from Netflix. He doesn't usually go out two nights in a row.

"Yeah," he says. "See you in like forty? I'll text directions."


Stiles is waiting outside the club in jeans and a hoodie. He's not exactly dressed to impress, but he looks good, if a little nervous, bouncing on his heels with his hands buried in his pockets. He settles when he sees Danny and grins. "Hey!" he says. "The bouncer here is really nice. He's getting his Masters'. His thesis sounds so cool!"

The guy is looking a little disappointed at the sight of Danny, so he's guessing nice probably means flirty. With his thesis, apparently.

"Great," says Danny. It's going to be kind of embarrassing if more guys hit on Stiles than him. Not that he's looking to score. Or that he cares if Stiles does.

"Do you want to see my ID?" Stiles asks the bouncer, all earnest and proud. They're about the same age, so Stiles has been legal for like five years. It can't be that exciting anymore.

The bouncer just waves them in, and Stiles looks around like he's recording everything for future examination. It's the club Danny comes to when he's looking to meet people more than he's looking to get laid, with good music and a comfortable atmosphere. When Stiles spots the plush booths in the back, his eyes light up. "Get me a beer!" he yells over the music, and runs over to flop down.

Straight, Danny reminds himself. Cute, but straight.

He wades into the crowd at the bar, pushing his way through the throng of guys until he can order two beers. When he gets back to the booth, Stiles is stretched out, snuggling against the soft cushions like he doesn't care how many guys have come all over them.

Maybe he doesn't know.

"People have sex on these," Danny points out, and Stiles jerks up so fast he hits his head on the table.


"It's a bar," says Danny, shrugging. He passes Stiles his beer, and Stiles takes a huge gulp.

"It's nice," he says, once he's recovered. "Not the sex part, just--" he coughs. "A nice bar."

Danny shrugs. "I guess. I don't come here that much." He glances over at Stiles. "You really don't care?"

"About what?" asks Stiles.

"This being a gay bar," he says.

"I'm in a gay bar with a hot guy," says Stiles. "I've never been in a straight bar with a hot girl. This is new for me. People are totally looking at me and wondering how I got you. It's awesome. You are way out of my league."

Danny isn't sure how to dissect that. "I don't think that's what they're wondering," he finally says.

"That's what I'd be wondering," says Stiles, and continues, "So, how do you know Jackson and Lydia?" before Danny can say anything else.

"Jackson was my roommate freshman year," says Danny. "Then he started dating Lydia."

"Is he an asshole?" Stiles asks, and Danny blinks.

"He's my best friend," he says, surprised. "Why would he be my best friend if he was an asshole?"

"Scott's my best friend, he can be an asshole," says Stiles. "Not all the time, just sometimes. He was an asshole when he first started dating Allison. He didn't call me for like two weeks. Except to tell me how great everything about her was. And that conversation was interesting once, when he was telling me about her breasts." Stiles coughs. "Not that that part would be interesting for you, I guess. But that was the best it got. The rest was all, we are meant to be, I love her, I want to have her babies."

Danny smiles into his drink. "Jackson can be--Jackson," he says. "But he's a great guy to have on your side."

"And he's--good for her?" Stiles says, ducking his head.

"Yeah," says Danny. He smiles. "He loves her, he wants to have her babies."

"Cool," says Stiles. He's quiet for a long time, which already feels weird to Danny. Then he says, "That's good." He glances at Danny. "I'm not dumb, I didn't think we were gonna get coffee and she was going to swoon into my arms. And I wasn't pining. She was just--the one that got away."

"Closure," says Danny. "I get it."

"I've had other girlfriends!" Stiles protests. "Lots. Or, you know. A couple. For a few dates. And a boyfriend! I think."

Danny chokes on his beer. "You think?"

Stiles waves his hands vaguely. "There was this guy in my programming class, I thought he was just being friendly. We went out a few times and I thought he wanted to be friends, but then he kissed me."

"Oh," says Danny.

"Yeah." Stiles takes another long drink, finishing his beer. "I was so surprised I fell over. So he thought I didn't like him or was homophobic or something? I never really got the chance to figure it out. It was the end of the semester, and he avoided me. It was tragic."

Danny wonders if he'll ever figure out what to say to Stiles. About anything. "Did you want to date him?" he asks.

"Oh yeah, probably," Stiles says. "I don't always notice." He looks out into to the crowd, kind of wistfully. "I wish I'd at least sucked his dick."

Danny chokes again. "What."

"I've never sucked one before!" Stiles says. "When am I going to get another chance to try that?"

"You're in a gay bar," Danny says, incredulous. "There are tons of guys here who would let you suck their dicks."

Stiles looks around, surprised. "Really? Which ones?"

Danny rubs his face. "Go dance, you'll find one," he says.

Stiles looks like he's considering it, but he flops back, grinning. "Nah. I'm here with you." He eyes Danny's mostly empty glass. "Another round? I'm buying."


So Danny has a new friend, even if he doesn't quite get what's happening. He thinks Stiles feels a little left out, with his best friend in a serious relationship, and Danny gets that. It's the same way sometimes with Jackson and Lydia, because he's single, and they're not. It's not like they purposefully exclude him, but he always feels outnumbered and a little out of his depth. And when Lydia has her bi-monthly wedding preparation meetings, he goes from out of his depth to absolutely terrified.

d.mahealani: Are you busy tonight?
s.stilinski: huh?
s.stilinski: oh, nah
s.stilinski: just me + my couch + bsg
d.mahealani: What's bsg?
s.stilinski: battlestar galactica! come on, dude. you have to know bsg, you're a dork.
s.stilinski: a hot dork, yeah
s.stilinski: but still a dork
d.mahealani: Never heard of it. Do you want to hang out?
s.stilinski: yes, i want you to come over and watch bsg. this is important. i'll order pizza. come @ six

It's not exactly what Danny was hoping for, but he'll take it, because it means he has an excuse when Lydia calls up and says, "Five thirty."

"I'm busy tonight," he says, like he forgot that she was going to call and try to draft him for--whatever it is she's doing this week. Maybe china patterns.

"No you're not," says Lydia, after a second.

"I am," he says. "I'm hanging out with Stiles."


"Stiles. Your high school friend?"

There's a much longer pause. "You two are still together?"

"We're just having pizza and watching TV," Danny says, which, once it's out, doesn't really sound like any kind of evidence they aren't dating.

"Oh my god," says Lydia. "It's been like two weeks and you're already an old married couple. Pizza and TV? Please tell me it's porn."

Danny does a quick google search for Battletstar Galactica, just to make sure. "No, it's not porn," he says. "We're just hanging out. He's kind of cool."

There's another long pause. He thinks Lydia is probably spending more of this conversation silently judging him than she is speaking.

"Kind of cool? Stiles?"

"Okay," he admits. "Not cool. But--I like him."

Lydia huffs. "Oh my god, just tell him you want to blow him, this is sad. Pizza and TV, jesus christ, are you twelve."

She hangs up on him, and Danny stares at the phone for a minute.

Honestly, it's probably the smoothest a conversation where he says no to her has ever gone.


Jackson calls an hour later.

"That kid, really?"

"He's our age," says Danny, sighing. "And we're not dating."

"Lydia says you are." He pauses. "Lydia is usually right."

Danny rubs his face. "I think I would know better than Lydia."

"I don't," says Jackson. "It's Lydia."

As humiliating as it is, Danny has to admit he might have a point.


A guy Danny has never seen before opens Stiles' door, and there's this bizarre moment where Danny can't figure out if Stiles has a roommate or boyfriend he's never mentioned or he's in the wrong place or what.

"Hi?" he tries.

"Are you Danny?" asks the guy, with a narrow-eyed, assessing look that just makes him more confused.


"Scott, oh my god, you're like a guard dog, what are you doing," says Stiles, sticking his head in from the kitchen. "Danny, Scott. Scott, Danny. Scott, what is wrong with you. You're hanging out with Derek too much, you're becoming a creeper."

It's weird, having talked to Stiles enough to know that Derek is the incredibly controlling and overbearing head chef at the restaurant where Scott works. He already feels intimately familiar with all the people in Stiles' life.

And this is apparently Scott, so it's not a date. Lydia is wrong.

It doesn't actually make him feel better.

"Hi," says Danny, extending his hand. "Nice to meet you."

"You too," says Scott, but he's still looking wary. Stiles looks embarrassed and more than a little uncomfortable, and Danny wonders if he walked in on an awkward conversation.

Stiles clears his throat. "Scott wants pizza. So he's going to have pizza, and then we're going to watch Battlestar. Without Scott," he adds, pointedly.

"Okay," says Danny. He smiles at Scott, trying to ease the conversation. "I've heard so much about you."

"Yeah, you too."

There's an awkward pause, and then they both start talking at the same time. Danny laughs. "Um, go ahead," he says.

"So, Stiles said you work together," says Scott. That's apparently the cue for Stiles to go off on another rant about how the code he's trying to untangle is the worst thing of all time, and Scott relaxes gradually. Still, halfway through dinner he manages to guide the conversation back to Danny, at which point it becomes clear that he pretty much just wants to know what Danny's intentions are. Danny and Stiles stumble through it pretty gracelessly, but Scott leaves after dinner with a big smile, so apparently it went well.

Stiles closes the door with a loud huff. "Holy unsubtle, Batman," he says. He gives Danny an embarrassed smile, leading him in to the living room and flopping down on the couch. "I'm really sorry about Scott. He's--"

"It's okay," says Danny.

"No, it's not. I mean, I never should have told him that I was thinking about this, but I didn't want it to be like last time and I needed advice! What if we started dating and I didn't know? I wanted to know! I don't want to miss that when I really like you. And okay--"


"I wouldn't just stop trying to see you because of the awkward, you know? I'm totally better at life now! Allison gave me a pep talk about getting what you want and I don't really know why it involved me picturing you naked because now I can't stop--"


"But that does mean I'm totally prepared for this! I have been thinking about us dating pretty much non-stop for weeks, and, you know, more than dating, so my gayness levels are--"

Danny leans over and kisses him. Despite Stiles' claims that he's ready for this, he squawks and jumps backward.

"Okay, I'm still not good with surprises--" He stares for a minute. "You kissed me!"

"I thought you wanted me to," says Danny, a little amused.

"Yeah, but--" he blinks. "Yeah, I did." And then Stiles climbs into his lap and kisses him, all sloppy, happy, enthusiasm, just like Danny thought it would be.

When Stiles pulls away, he's breathless and grinning. Danny knows the feeling.

"See?" says Stiles. "I am totally awesome at being gay! I just need to be expecting it," and Danny laughs and kisses him again.


They end up watching two episodes of Battlestar Galactica, because Stiles feels it's really important that Danny sees it. And then Stiles blows him, because Stiles is apparently still really curious about having a dick in his mouth, and Danny is noble enough to oblige him.

"Yeah, I can do that more," Stiles says. He has come on his cheek, and it's unfairly hot. "Wow. Dick. Who knew?"

"I knew," Danny points out.

"Okay, if you're so good, you do it," Stiles says, gesturing to his crotch, and Danny grins.


"Hey, you weren't a virgin, right?" asks Danny, the next morning. They've got their laptops set up on Stiles' kitchen table so they can work, and Stiles is playing footsie with him.

Or he was, until Danny asked that brilliant question.

"What? Of course not! Do I look like a virgin?" He pauses. "Actually, don't answer that."

Danny kicks him lightly under the table. He can't stop smiling. "But it was your first time sucking dick."

"Yeah," says Stiles. "But not the last."

He texts Lydia while Stiles is in the shower. I didn't devirginize him.

oh my god, tectonic plates move faster than you do, Lydia texts back, almost instantly.

I meant he wasn't a virgin.

The response takes longer this time. I told you this would be good for you. You owe me. I'm awesome.

Stiles comes out of the bathroom in just a towel. "Hey, you should take a fifteen-minute break," he says. "I have big plans."

Sure, Danny shoots back, and then closes his laptop and turns off his phone.

"I could do thirty," he says, and Stiles grins.

Date: 2012-09-17 02:57 am (UTC)
alexseanchai: Ladybug, of Miraculous fame, with a rainbow Pride background (Default)
From: [personal profile] alexseanchai
No idea who these people are (I am going to watch this show, eventually), but I like this.

Date: 2012-09-17 10:39 pm (UTC)
afrikate: Ray Kowalski is getting his geek on, with his clip on shades flipped up (Default)
From: [personal profile] afrikate
Love it! Stiles can totally be gay if he *expects* it. :)

Date: 2012-12-21 01:32 pm (UTC)
copracat: Teyla and Ronon smililng at each other (atlantis - sisters)
From: [personal profile] copracat
Here because anat podficced your story. It is a great story! I want to smish them they're all so adorable. I love Stiles' 'I think I had a boyfriend'.

Date: 2013-01-05 06:01 pm (UTC)
sophinisba: Gwen looking sexy from Merlin season 2 promo pics (Default)
From: [personal profile] sophinisba
I also listened to [personal profile] anatsuno's podfic of this and I enjoyed it so much! Just loved the quick rhythm and the warm humor of it. :)

Date: 2013-01-07 12:52 pm (UTC)
anatsuno: a black and wide photo of anatsuno, grinning (all about ana)
From: [personal profile] anatsuno
oh my god did I ever comment to TELL you I had released the podfic? I forget! I am such an airhead. Anyway, if I hadn't done it before, I apologize for this negligence! I had a blast recording your story and the recipient was very happy, so all was well. I hope you like it if you ever listen. Thank you again for a great story! :))


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