longsufferingly (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
longsufferingly) wrote2009-06-05 10:57 pm
longsufferingly) wrote2009-06-05 10:57 pm
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Here's some more scenes from that FF8 J2 AU I'm not writing. This one has more spoilers for the game. Also, more schmoop.
Jensen speaks to President Morgan like he would speak to any other leader. He doesn't look like any other leader--his dress is casual, not a military uniform or a suit, he has three-days of stubble, his hair is a little too long--and he he doesn't act like one either.
A real leader can suppress his emotions. A real leader's eyes wouldn't widen, he wouldn't get up, reach out abortively, sit back down heavily, stare.
Jensen does none of those things.
"President Morgan," he says. "We're here from Balamb Garden. We need to find Dr. Edlund."
"Jensen," says President Morgan. He stands again.
Jensen is more aware than he'd like of Chris next to him, standing tall. He's glad he brought Chris now, and not Danneel or Aldis. Danneel and Aldis know President Morgan as someone other than the president.
Jensen takes a deep breath. He thinks of Jared--Jared, who is unconscious, who might be dying, Jared who is more important than this.
"We need to find Dr. Edlund," he says, "immediately. It's a matter of life and death."
"Whose? Jensen, what are you--" President Morgan approaches, reaches out, and Jensen fists his hands in the man's casual shirt before he quite realizes it, shoves him against his own office wall.
"Where," says Jensen, voice taught, "is he?"
"Jensen--" starts Chris. "He's the president, man, someone's gonna--"
"It's all right," says President Morgan. "Dr. Edlund is at the Pandora base. If you let me go, I can get a car."
Jensen relaxes his fingers slowly, lets President Morgan down. He can see President Morgan's eyes looking him up and down, taking him in, committing him to memory.
"It's good to see you," says President Morgan, and there's a pain in his voice, low and genuine, that Jensen can't think about right now. Jared is in the other room.
Jared is what matters right now.
"Where's the car?" asks Jensen.
President Morgan smiles. "I'll have one of my guys show you."
*
"You wanna explain that?" asks Chris.
Jensen settles Jared down into the wheelchair, pushing his hair back from his forehead. "Explain what?"
"Esthar's been in deep isolation since before we were born. How come you know the president?"
"You know him too," says Jensen, nodding toward the soldier President Morgan sent. "Jeff Morgan, the journalist."
"That's Jeff Morgan?"
Jensen shrugs. "I guess so."
"Guess that explains where he went. What the hell'd he ever do to you?"
"He went," says Jensen. "It doesn't matter, Chris. We've got more important things to worry about."
"You know," says Chris, staring ahead as they take the elevator down to the state garage, "if he was awake, he wouldn't be letting this go."
But he'd be awake, Jensen thinks. He'd be smiling and elbowing me in the ribs and ruffling my hair and doing all that stuff I hate. He'd be here.
"I know," he says.
*
"I better go see him alone," says Jensen.
Jared's concern is all over his face. "Are you sure?"
"It's--" he almost says private, but he doesn't, because that's not it. "Yeah. I'm sure."
"Okay," says Jared. He stares at Jensen a minute too long, and Jensen knows Jared wants to kiss him. Jared's been wanting to kiss him for a while, but he hasn't yet. Jensen doesn't mind anymore that it's a matter of time. "Just--I'll be around, you know?"
"Yeah. Explore. It's a cool city, you know?"
Jared nods. "Good luck," he says.
Jensen swallows, and goes to see President Morgan.
*
"It's good to see you again, Jensen," President Morgan says, standing as Jensen comes in.
"You're not taking him," says Jensen.
"I don't want to take him," says President Morgan. "I trust you."
"Good," says Jensen. He doesn't know what to say from here. He's sure President Morgan wants to apologize, or explain. He wonders what his life would be like without bitterness.
He can't quite picture it.
"Can we talk?" asks President Morgan.
"If it'll make you feel better," says Jensen.
There's a pause. President Morgan rubs the back of his neck; Jensen knows the gesture. It's his own. "How's your mother?" he finally asks.
Jensen stares. "She--what?"
"I tried to get in touch with her," says President Morgan. "I just--I never heard anything."
"She died," says Jensen tonelessly.
President Morgan stares. "When?"
"I was five," says Jensen.
"A year after--fuck," says President Morgan. "God, I had no idea. I--that's why you were in Garden? Because she--Jensen."
Jensen shrugs, but it's jerky, not the smooth ease he's used to.
"I never would have--I wanted to protect your brother. I didn't--I'm so sorry."
"Whatever," says Jensen.
President Morgan looks shaken, broken open, and Jensen--he can't do this.
"I have to go," he says. He's not prepared for this. He's not capable.
"I'm sorry," says President Morgan again, but Jensen barely hears him. He leaves the room, leaves the presidential residence, goes into town and doesn't plan on stopping until he can catch his breath.
He collides with something and barely notices, but then there are hands on his arms and a familiar smell, and he looks up to see Jared.
"Jensen," he starts, and Jensen suddenly doesn't care, he wraps his arms around Jared's back and leans in, refuses to let go.
Jared's arms come around him at once, strong and firm, holding him close.
"Hey," says Jared, into Jensen's hair. "It's--hey."
"I thought you were going to die," says Jensen softly.
"I didn't."
"You could."
"Nah," says Jared. "I'm immortal."
Jensen smiles a little.
"You want to talk about it?"
Jensen thinks about it, and finds, to his surprise, that he does. "Let's sit down," he says, and if Jared's surprised too, he's gotten it off his face by the time he's looking at Jensen.
"Yeah," says Jared. "Okay."
There's a bench and Jensen's glare is enough to get the guy who was on it to go somewhere else.
They just sit for a minute. Jared took his hand at some point, rubbing absently with his thumb.
"I had a brother," says Jensen. "He got--he's a sorcerer too. Galbaldia was rounding them up then. My dad went to find him--save him, I guess. I was four."
Jared wraps an arm around Jensen's shoulder, and Jensen leans on him, surprising himself with the movement.
"My mom died when I was five. I figured dad and Josh would come back, you know? Some day."
"But they didn't."
"I figured it was--better, you know?" says Jensen. "If I didn't care about anyone, I couldn't get left behind anymore. It'd be easier. Or safer. I guess."
"Jensen," says Jared softly.
Jensen turns, and Jared is looking at him with so much interest and concern and love that Jensen realizes, he doesn't care. It doesn't matter that Jared might not be with him forever.
When Jensen leans up and kisses him, Jared makes a choked noise, something surprised and happy, and his hand comes up to Jensen's cheek, holding him close.
Jensen has never kissed anyone before; he doesn't really know what to do. He pulls away after a second, and Jared smiles widely.
"Please," he says, "tell me you did that because you wanted to."
"Moron," says Jensen, and Jared smiles wider, leans down and kisses him again, nudges Jensen's mouth open with his lips and slips his tongue in, and Jensen just lets himself be kissed.
"You could do something here," says Jared, against Jensen's lips.
"I don't really--I've never."
"Oh," says Jared. He moves back, and Jensen follows him. Jared laughs. "Wasn't sure you liked me."
"I really like you," says Jensen, surprising himself with the admission. It's not like he didn't know, he just didn't expect to say it. Then, he says, "President Morgan--"
"I'll fight him," says Jared. "Like I'm letting them lock me up now that I know you care."
"He's my dad," says Jensen.
"Holy crap," says Jared. "Seriously?"
"Yeah. He didn't know she died. He had no idea."
"I'm so sorry, Jensen," says Jared, and it helps so much more when he says it than when President Morgan did.
"He said he wouldn't take you. I think you're my responsibility now."
Jared smiles softly. "I'm okay with that. Do I get to kiss you whenever I want to?"
"Not when everyone's around."
Jared's smile drops. "You don't want them to know?"
Jensen snorts softly. "I couldn't hide that if I wanted to. They can all see right through us. But we have stuff to do. World to save. You were a big enough distraction before you kissed me."
"I distract you, huh?" says Jared.
Jensen smiles, his stomach flipping. "Whatever," he mutters.
Jensen speaks to President Morgan like he would speak to any other leader. He doesn't look like any other leader--his dress is casual, not a military uniform or a suit, he has three-days of stubble, his hair is a little too long--and he he doesn't act like one either.
A real leader can suppress his emotions. A real leader's eyes wouldn't widen, he wouldn't get up, reach out abortively, sit back down heavily, stare.
Jensen does none of those things.
"President Morgan," he says. "We're here from Balamb Garden. We need to find Dr. Edlund."
"Jensen," says President Morgan. He stands again.
Jensen is more aware than he'd like of Chris next to him, standing tall. He's glad he brought Chris now, and not Danneel or Aldis. Danneel and Aldis know President Morgan as someone other than the president.
Jensen takes a deep breath. He thinks of Jared--Jared, who is unconscious, who might be dying, Jared who is more important than this.
"We need to find Dr. Edlund," he says, "immediately. It's a matter of life and death."
"Whose? Jensen, what are you--" President Morgan approaches, reaches out, and Jensen fists his hands in the man's casual shirt before he quite realizes it, shoves him against his own office wall.
"Where," says Jensen, voice taught, "is he?"
"Jensen--" starts Chris. "He's the president, man, someone's gonna--"
"It's all right," says President Morgan. "Dr. Edlund is at the Pandora base. If you let me go, I can get a car."
Jensen relaxes his fingers slowly, lets President Morgan down. He can see President Morgan's eyes looking him up and down, taking him in, committing him to memory.
"It's good to see you," says President Morgan, and there's a pain in his voice, low and genuine, that Jensen can't think about right now. Jared is in the other room.
Jared is what matters right now.
"Where's the car?" asks Jensen.
President Morgan smiles. "I'll have one of my guys show you."
*
"You wanna explain that?" asks Chris.
Jensen settles Jared down into the wheelchair, pushing his hair back from his forehead. "Explain what?"
"Esthar's been in deep isolation since before we were born. How come you know the president?"
"You know him too," says Jensen, nodding toward the soldier President Morgan sent. "Jeff Morgan, the journalist."
"That's Jeff Morgan?"
Jensen shrugs. "I guess so."
"Guess that explains where he went. What the hell'd he ever do to you?"
"He went," says Jensen. "It doesn't matter, Chris. We've got more important things to worry about."
"You know," says Chris, staring ahead as they take the elevator down to the state garage, "if he was awake, he wouldn't be letting this go."
But he'd be awake, Jensen thinks. He'd be smiling and elbowing me in the ribs and ruffling my hair and doing all that stuff I hate. He'd be here.
"I know," he says.
*
"I better go see him alone," says Jensen.
Jared's concern is all over his face. "Are you sure?"
"It's--" he almost says private, but he doesn't, because that's not it. "Yeah. I'm sure."
"Okay," says Jared. He stares at Jensen a minute too long, and Jensen knows Jared wants to kiss him. Jared's been wanting to kiss him for a while, but he hasn't yet. Jensen doesn't mind anymore that it's a matter of time. "Just--I'll be around, you know?"
"Yeah. Explore. It's a cool city, you know?"
Jared nods. "Good luck," he says.
Jensen swallows, and goes to see President Morgan.
*
"It's good to see you again, Jensen," President Morgan says, standing as Jensen comes in.
"You're not taking him," says Jensen.
"I don't want to take him," says President Morgan. "I trust you."
"Good," says Jensen. He doesn't know what to say from here. He's sure President Morgan wants to apologize, or explain. He wonders what his life would be like without bitterness.
He can't quite picture it.
"Can we talk?" asks President Morgan.
"If it'll make you feel better," says Jensen.
There's a pause. President Morgan rubs the back of his neck; Jensen knows the gesture. It's his own. "How's your mother?" he finally asks.
Jensen stares. "She--what?"
"I tried to get in touch with her," says President Morgan. "I just--I never heard anything."
"She died," says Jensen tonelessly.
President Morgan stares. "When?"
"I was five," says Jensen.
"A year after--fuck," says President Morgan. "God, I had no idea. I--that's why you were in Garden? Because she--Jensen."
Jensen shrugs, but it's jerky, not the smooth ease he's used to.
"I never would have--I wanted to protect your brother. I didn't--I'm so sorry."
"Whatever," says Jensen.
President Morgan looks shaken, broken open, and Jensen--he can't do this.
"I have to go," he says. He's not prepared for this. He's not capable.
"I'm sorry," says President Morgan again, but Jensen barely hears him. He leaves the room, leaves the presidential residence, goes into town and doesn't plan on stopping until he can catch his breath.
He collides with something and barely notices, but then there are hands on his arms and a familiar smell, and he looks up to see Jared.
"Jensen," he starts, and Jensen suddenly doesn't care, he wraps his arms around Jared's back and leans in, refuses to let go.
Jared's arms come around him at once, strong and firm, holding him close.
"Hey," says Jared, into Jensen's hair. "It's--hey."
"I thought you were going to die," says Jensen softly.
"I didn't."
"You could."
"Nah," says Jared. "I'm immortal."
Jensen smiles a little.
"You want to talk about it?"
Jensen thinks about it, and finds, to his surprise, that he does. "Let's sit down," he says, and if Jared's surprised too, he's gotten it off his face by the time he's looking at Jensen.
"Yeah," says Jared. "Okay."
There's a bench and Jensen's glare is enough to get the guy who was on it to go somewhere else.
They just sit for a minute. Jared took his hand at some point, rubbing absently with his thumb.
"I had a brother," says Jensen. "He got--he's a sorcerer too. Galbaldia was rounding them up then. My dad went to find him--save him, I guess. I was four."
Jared wraps an arm around Jensen's shoulder, and Jensen leans on him, surprising himself with the movement.
"My mom died when I was five. I figured dad and Josh would come back, you know? Some day."
"But they didn't."
"I figured it was--better, you know?" says Jensen. "If I didn't care about anyone, I couldn't get left behind anymore. It'd be easier. Or safer. I guess."
"Jensen," says Jared softly.
Jensen turns, and Jared is looking at him with so much interest and concern and love that Jensen realizes, he doesn't care. It doesn't matter that Jared might not be with him forever.
When Jensen leans up and kisses him, Jared makes a choked noise, something surprised and happy, and his hand comes up to Jensen's cheek, holding him close.
Jensen has never kissed anyone before; he doesn't really know what to do. He pulls away after a second, and Jared smiles widely.
"Please," he says, "tell me you did that because you wanted to."
"Moron," says Jensen, and Jared smiles wider, leans down and kisses him again, nudges Jensen's mouth open with his lips and slips his tongue in, and Jensen just lets himself be kissed.
"You could do something here," says Jared, against Jensen's lips.
"I don't really--I've never."
"Oh," says Jared. He moves back, and Jensen follows him. Jared laughs. "Wasn't sure you liked me."
"I really like you," says Jensen, surprising himself with the admission. It's not like he didn't know, he just didn't expect to say it. Then, he says, "President Morgan--"
"I'll fight him," says Jared. "Like I'm letting them lock me up now that I know you care."
"He's my dad," says Jensen.
"Holy crap," says Jared. "Seriously?"
"Yeah. He didn't know she died. He had no idea."
"I'm so sorry, Jensen," says Jared, and it helps so much more when he says it than when President Morgan did.
"He said he wouldn't take you. I think you're my responsibility now."
Jared smiles softly. "I'm okay with that. Do I get to kiss you whenever I want to?"
"Not when everyone's around."
Jared's smile drops. "You don't want them to know?"
Jensen snorts softly. "I couldn't hide that if I wanted to. They can all see right through us. But we have stuff to do. World to save. You were a big enough distraction before you kissed me."
"I distract you, huh?" says Jared.
Jensen smiles, his stomach flipping. "Whatever," he mutters.