longsufferingly (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
longsufferingly) wrote2009-12-24 02:00 am
longsufferingly) wrote2009-12-24 02:00 am
(no subject)
Title: Ain't No Use to Sit and Wonder Why
Author:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
poor_choices
Fandom: Friday Night Lights
Pairing: Vince Howard/Luke Cafferty (ish)
Rating: PG
Warnings: None?
Word Count: 1355.
Summary: Futurefic. SPOILERS FOR 407 (no spoilers for 408, please, I haven't seen it yet).
Notes: I SHOULD BE ASLEEP AND AM NOT :( damn you fnl.
Disclaimer: Not mine, don't sue.
Vince never planned to go back to Dillon.
It's all bad memories for him there--dead family, dead friends, poverty and losing power ever month. Even the football wasn't great, because everyone was too crazy. He never wanted to be a football player anyway, he wasn't like that Smash kid who knew he was going to be the next big thing.
He just wanted to do something.
But the thing is, Coach asked. And he owes Coach, he's always going to owe Coach. If Coach calls him up in thirty years and tells him he needs help burying a body, Vince will be there with a shovel and a yessir.
It's been five years since they won state, his senior year, this miraculous fucking thing. Like all the stars aligned and they weren't fuckups for one long moment, and colleges decided they wanted him, and they'd even pay for him, as long as he played a little.
It's like a fairy tale, really. And he's the luckiest son of a bitch ever lived happily ever after.
*
Dillon is flat and dry, and he remembers this girl he dated sophomore year who told him all she thought of when she thought of Texas was cowboys and tumbleweed, a showdown at high noon.
It feels a little like that to him too.
He's staying in a hotel--a fucking hotel, he can afford it, somehow--because the last time he was here was for his mom's funeral, so he doesn't have anywhere to go anymore. He has a different view from here, all West Dillon and boosters, and the lights of the Panther stadium.
They still look brighter.
He thinks about going to get some ribs. He thinks Jess went somewhere local, Dillon Tech maybe. Maybe she's around, maybe she'd give him the time of day again.
Maybe not.
In the end, he drives over to the school. It's where he's supposed to end up, to be inspirational.
Homecoming. They've been winners enough now that no one expects them to be losers. He thinks maybe he should tell them that's okay too.
You can lose this year and still get into college next year. You can play your ass off and still get noticed, no matter what.
The school's a little nicer, a little richer. If he came back, maybe he could be a Booster, one of those fat old guys who smokes cigarettes and cares too much about the good ol' days.
Nah, not that.
"Five? Oh man, Five, is that you?"
He turns around and there's Cafferty, the same as ever. His smile's too friendly and his face is too eager.
"Hey, man, you home for the game?" he asks, slapping the hand Luke offers and still getting surprised by the hug.
Still too eager, yeah.
His smile turns bashful, and he looks away. "I'm here, actually. Teaching English."
"Yeah?" says Vince, and it's not all there, he knows. "That's cool, man."
Luke laughs. "Nice of you to say, but it's not."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah." He laughs again. "To be honest with you? It sucks ass."
Vince laughs too. "Yeah, it does."
*
They don't get ribs. They go to Alamo Freeze. The kid working there's in Luke's class, calls him Mr. Cafferty and makes Vince feel old.
"Principal Taylor did me a favor," Luke explains. "I went to community college, haven't got a lot of experience. But she went in there and--I don't know what she said, but when she came out I had a job."
"That's pretty cool."
"If you wanna be a cattle farmer your whole life," says Luke.
"If you do," Vince agrees.
They weren't really friends who talked about what they wanted to be when they grew up.
He's not really sure they were ever friends.
*
Luke wasn't on the winning team--they barely got started playing before he broke his ankle, and he never could play on it again. He tried once, got it broken, and Coach said he couldn't.
Vince thinks it'd be like losing wings.
*
They grab a few beers and Luke's truck--the same truck, still a piece of shit, with faint stains on the back Luke never explained--and drive out to the school that night, lie in the back and drink.
"Where'd you go?" Luke asks.
"Tennessee," says Vince. "Not too far."
"Far enough," says Luke.
"Far enough," says Vince, and they clink their beers together.
*
Somehow, they never actually leave, and he wakes up in the morning in the back of a truck, sleeping next to Luke Cafferty.
It's dawn, and Texas looks amazing.
He gets why some people must like it here.
*
The rally is loud and glitzy, crisp reds and whites and cheerleaders with real uniforms. It's nothing like his first one, because everyone thinks they should win.
Coach is a little older, a little more ragged. His wife is the same as always, a knockout.
Luke's with the teachers, looking young and out of place with them. Most of them were teachers when they were in school, and he looks stuck in between, torn.
Their eyes meet, and Luke waves, barely. Just a smile and a twitch of the hand, like he thinks maybe he shouldn't.
Vince smiles real wide, soaks it all in.
*
They're good kids, a good team. The game's all tied up before the first half, but it's too depressing. He can't stop thinking about the Eagles. They're fighting like hell and it's not enough.
He leaves the stands and sees Luke behind them. He's got a flask he hands over, and Vince drinks more than he should. It burns all the way down.
"I never got the good part, you know," says Luke. "Just got shit on."
"Would've won two years with you," says Vince. "Had to do everything my own damn self."
Luke laughs. "You sucked at it, too."
"State, baby."
"State," Luke repeats.
Vince takes another swig.
"When are you leaving?" Luke asks.
"Tomorrow," says Vince. "Got work, you know."
"What do you do?"
Vince rubs the back of his neck, self-conscious. "Work with foster kids."
"Yeah?" Luke looks at him. "That's real great."
It should've been you, Vince thinks. I would've bet on it. I stay, you go.
"Got a hotel," is what he says. "You should check it out. Pretty swanky."
"Yeah," says Luke. "Sounds cool."
*
He would've, before.
If Luke had ever wanted to.
*
They watch some crappy movie, all explosions and action heroes, and raid the minibar. He'll be sorry later--those things cost a fortune--but he won't regret it, because they just lie on his bed next to each other and laugh.
It's warm, comfortable, close, and they would've been like this, if Luke hadn't broken his ankle.
They would've really been friends, not just guys who used to be a team.
"You were good, man," he says, finally.
"Yeah," says Luke. "So were you."
*
It's almost dawn when Luke gets up.
"When are you leaving?" he asks.
"Got a taxi coming, eleven o'clock."
"I'd say I could drive you, but I shouldn't be drivin' anyone," says Luke. He looks Vince up and down. "Guess I'll see you."
"Guess so," says Vince, but he doesn't.
He guesses he'll never see Luke Cafferty again in his life.
"Yeah," says Luke, not quite to Vince, and when their eyes catch, it's him who leans in.
Vince has kissed a few guys. In college, he kissed Ian, who told him everyone kissed a guy in college, and Rashid, who jerked him off without looking him in the face, and Neil, who wanted to date him but he wouldn't.
Luke's barely a kiss, just a brief press of lips, and then he pulls back with a question.
But Vince is leaving in a few hours, and there's nothing to say but goodbye.
*
In the plane, he has the window seat, and he watches Texas get smaller and smaller and disappear under the clouds.
He leans back and thinks what would have happened if he broke his ankle too. Maybe they never would have won State.
Maybe he'd wake up every morning and see Luke Cafferty.
Probably not.
Author:
poor_choicesFandom: Friday Night Lights
Pairing: Vince Howard/Luke Cafferty (ish)
Rating: PG
Warnings: None?
Word Count: 1355.
Summary: Futurefic. SPOILERS FOR 407 (no spoilers for 408, please, I haven't seen it yet).
Notes: I SHOULD BE ASLEEP AND AM NOT :( damn you fnl.
Disclaimer: Not mine, don't sue.
Vince never planned to go back to Dillon.
It's all bad memories for him there--dead family, dead friends, poverty and losing power ever month. Even the football wasn't great, because everyone was too crazy. He never wanted to be a football player anyway, he wasn't like that Smash kid who knew he was going to be the next big thing.
He just wanted to do something.
But the thing is, Coach asked. And he owes Coach, he's always going to owe Coach. If Coach calls him up in thirty years and tells him he needs help burying a body, Vince will be there with a shovel and a yessir.
It's been five years since they won state, his senior year, this miraculous fucking thing. Like all the stars aligned and they weren't fuckups for one long moment, and colleges decided they wanted him, and they'd even pay for him, as long as he played a little.
It's like a fairy tale, really. And he's the luckiest son of a bitch ever lived happily ever after.
*
Dillon is flat and dry, and he remembers this girl he dated sophomore year who told him all she thought of when she thought of Texas was cowboys and tumbleweed, a showdown at high noon.
It feels a little like that to him too.
He's staying in a hotel--a fucking hotel, he can afford it, somehow--because the last time he was here was for his mom's funeral, so he doesn't have anywhere to go anymore. He has a different view from here, all West Dillon and boosters, and the lights of the Panther stadium.
They still look brighter.
He thinks about going to get some ribs. He thinks Jess went somewhere local, Dillon Tech maybe. Maybe she's around, maybe she'd give him the time of day again.
Maybe not.
In the end, he drives over to the school. It's where he's supposed to end up, to be inspirational.
Homecoming. They've been winners enough now that no one expects them to be losers. He thinks maybe he should tell them that's okay too.
You can lose this year and still get into college next year. You can play your ass off and still get noticed, no matter what.
The school's a little nicer, a little richer. If he came back, maybe he could be a Booster, one of those fat old guys who smokes cigarettes and cares too much about the good ol' days.
Nah, not that.
"Five? Oh man, Five, is that you?"
He turns around and there's Cafferty, the same as ever. His smile's too friendly and his face is too eager.
"Hey, man, you home for the game?" he asks, slapping the hand Luke offers and still getting surprised by the hug.
Still too eager, yeah.
His smile turns bashful, and he looks away. "I'm here, actually. Teaching English."
"Yeah?" says Vince, and it's not all there, he knows. "That's cool, man."
Luke laughs. "Nice of you to say, but it's not."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah." He laughs again. "To be honest with you? It sucks ass."
Vince laughs too. "Yeah, it does."
*
They don't get ribs. They go to Alamo Freeze. The kid working there's in Luke's class, calls him Mr. Cafferty and makes Vince feel old.
"Principal Taylor did me a favor," Luke explains. "I went to community college, haven't got a lot of experience. But she went in there and--I don't know what she said, but when she came out I had a job."
"That's pretty cool."
"If you wanna be a cattle farmer your whole life," says Luke.
"If you do," Vince agrees.
They weren't really friends who talked about what they wanted to be when they grew up.
He's not really sure they were ever friends.
*
Luke wasn't on the winning team--they barely got started playing before he broke his ankle, and he never could play on it again. He tried once, got it broken, and Coach said he couldn't.
Vince thinks it'd be like losing wings.
*
They grab a few beers and Luke's truck--the same truck, still a piece of shit, with faint stains on the back Luke never explained--and drive out to the school that night, lie in the back and drink.
"Where'd you go?" Luke asks.
"Tennessee," says Vince. "Not too far."
"Far enough," says Luke.
"Far enough," says Vince, and they clink their beers together.
*
Somehow, they never actually leave, and he wakes up in the morning in the back of a truck, sleeping next to Luke Cafferty.
It's dawn, and Texas looks amazing.
He gets why some people must like it here.
*
The rally is loud and glitzy, crisp reds and whites and cheerleaders with real uniforms. It's nothing like his first one, because everyone thinks they should win.
Coach is a little older, a little more ragged. His wife is the same as always, a knockout.
Luke's with the teachers, looking young and out of place with them. Most of them were teachers when they were in school, and he looks stuck in between, torn.
Their eyes meet, and Luke waves, barely. Just a smile and a twitch of the hand, like he thinks maybe he shouldn't.
Vince smiles real wide, soaks it all in.
*
They're good kids, a good team. The game's all tied up before the first half, but it's too depressing. He can't stop thinking about the Eagles. They're fighting like hell and it's not enough.
He leaves the stands and sees Luke behind them. He's got a flask he hands over, and Vince drinks more than he should. It burns all the way down.
"I never got the good part, you know," says Luke. "Just got shit on."
"Would've won two years with you," says Vince. "Had to do everything my own damn self."
Luke laughs. "You sucked at it, too."
"State, baby."
"State," Luke repeats.
Vince takes another swig.
"When are you leaving?" Luke asks.
"Tomorrow," says Vince. "Got work, you know."
"What do you do?"
Vince rubs the back of his neck, self-conscious. "Work with foster kids."
"Yeah?" Luke looks at him. "That's real great."
It should've been you, Vince thinks. I would've bet on it. I stay, you go.
"Got a hotel," is what he says. "You should check it out. Pretty swanky."
"Yeah," says Luke. "Sounds cool."
*
He would've, before.
If Luke had ever wanted to.
*
They watch some crappy movie, all explosions and action heroes, and raid the minibar. He'll be sorry later--those things cost a fortune--but he won't regret it, because they just lie on his bed next to each other and laugh.
It's warm, comfortable, close, and they would've been like this, if Luke hadn't broken his ankle.
They would've really been friends, not just guys who used to be a team.
"You were good, man," he says, finally.
"Yeah," says Luke. "So were you."
*
It's almost dawn when Luke gets up.
"When are you leaving?" he asks.
"Got a taxi coming, eleven o'clock."
"I'd say I could drive you, but I shouldn't be drivin' anyone," says Luke. He looks Vince up and down. "Guess I'll see you."
"Guess so," says Vince, but he doesn't.
He guesses he'll never see Luke Cafferty again in his life.
"Yeah," says Luke, not quite to Vince, and when their eyes catch, it's him who leans in.
Vince has kissed a few guys. In college, he kissed Ian, who told him everyone kissed a guy in college, and Rashid, who jerked him off without looking him in the face, and Neil, who wanted to date him but he wouldn't.
Luke's barely a kiss, just a brief press of lips, and then he pulls back with a question.
But Vince is leaving in a few hours, and there's nothing to say but goodbye.
*
In the plane, he has the window seat, and he watches Texas get smaller and smaller and disappear under the clouds.
He leans back and thinks what would have happened if he broke his ankle too. Maybe they never would have won State.
Maybe he'd wake up every morning and see Luke Cafferty.
Probably not.