(no subject)

[longsufferingly]

Title: Total Enabler
Author: chash
Fandom: Supernatural RPS
Pairing: Jared Padalecki/Jensen Ackles
Rating: PG
Warnings: None!
Word Count: 3500.
Summary: Gilmore Girls AU, what. Jared's the coffee-addict single dad, Jensen is the grumpy diner guy, and Jared's kid has a new boyfriend.
Notes: As usual, nothing is quite as inspiring as thinking OMG I SHOULD BE DOING SOMETHING ELSE THAT HAS A DEADLINE.
Disclaimer: Lies and untruths.


Jared's head hits the counter with a resounding thunk.

"I think I've got a syringe in the back," he hears from somewhere above him. "If you're thinking that drinking it just takes too much time."

"I was thinking I'd cut the beans up with a razor blade and snort them." He lifts his head up to see Jensen standing over him, cleaning out a mug. "Please say that's for me."

Jensen shrugs. "Yours now. What happened?"

Jared looks up balefully, his chin propped against the counter.

"Are you giving me puppy dog eyes?" asks Jensen, pouring him a coffee. "Why would you give me puppy dog eyes? You're a paying customer, I'm not going to refuse to serve you."

"Jay has a boyfriend."

"She's sixteen," says Jensen. "I think that's normal."

"Give me the coffee and I won't slap you for that," Jared mutters darkly.

Jensen glances up as the door opens, handing Jared the cup and smiling. "Hey, Jay, tell your dad not to threaten me in my store."

Jared glances over to see his daughter sliding into the stool next to him.

"Dad, you know better," says Jay.

"Traitor." Jared drains half his coffee in one long gulp. "Where's the boy?"

"His name is Sam," says Jay, "and he's going to his house."

"I'm glad he's not a homeless vagrant."

"Jensen, tell dad he's being ridiculous."

"I'll have to meet him first."

"You know, I really don't need two dads," says Jay, rolling her eyes.

"Now you don't want Jared to have a social life?" asks Jensen innocently. "No bringing home a new daddy?"

"One of my teachers asked him out," says Jay. "Do you hear me complaining about that?"

"You're dating one of Jay's teachers? That's kind of awkward," says Jensen.

"See? Way worse than me going on a normal date with a normal boy," says Jay.

Jared drains the rest of his coffee. "I hate you both. Refill."

Jensen roots around behind the counter and comes back up with a couple coffee beans and a pair of scissors. "Go nuts."

Jay snorts. "I'm going home. I don't even want to know."

*

"I don't think this is a total crisis," says Sophia.

"That's what Jensen said."

Sophia looks wounded. "You told Jensen about Jay's boyfriend before you told me?"

"I was trying to get him to give me pity coffee," says Jared. "It wasn't personal."

"So what did he say?"

"That sixteen is a fine age to date."

"He's right."

"You know what happened when I dated at sixteen?"

"You tried to convince yourself you weren't gay, knocked up a girl, and your parents disowned you for keeping the kid and throwing away your future?" Sophia says, smiling brightly.

"Exactly! Now she could be that girl. She cannot be that girl."

"She's a lot smarter than you," Sophia points out. "Taste this soup."

Jared grabs a spoon and sips. "Awesome."

"Good," says Sophia. "Now, stop worrying. Jay is smart, and fun, and if she likes this boy, I think he's awesome."

"I bet he owns a leather jacket," pouts Jared.

Sophia pats his shoulder. "I bet he does."

*

Jay's already at Jensen's when Jared gets there in the morning, downing a coffee and eating a muffin.

"Bring me a muffin," Jared says as he passes Jensen.

"I'm not actually a slave," says Jensen.

"You're a servant. I pay you."

"Dad, don't piss off Jensen, I don't want to see what you're like uncaffeinated."

"Here," says Jensen, shoving a muffin at him. "Sit down and shut up. You'll scare the customers."

"Your face is gonna scare the customers," says Jared, patting Jensen's cheek. "Stubble's okay, but this full beard thing? You look like something that stumbled out of the woods."

"You're one to talk, Sasquatch," says Jensen. "Sit down."

Jay is watching him with a contemplative expression as he brings his coffee back to the table.

"What?"

"You know, you could just date Jensen," she says.

Jared isn't drinking, so he doesn't spit his coffee on the table.

It's not the first time Jay has said something like this. Jared remembers when she was six and first asked, "If you like boys and Jensen likes boys, why don't you and Jensen like each other?"

He's never really come up with a response.

"Why would I date Jensen?"

"Because you guys spend all your time flirting," says Jay. "And then he could live with us and make us coffee every morning. We wouldn't have to come here and spend all our money. We could just have coffee in our own home."

"I'm not going to date a guy just because of coffee."

"It's not a guy," says Jay, rolling her eyes. "It's Jensen."

"What's me?" asks Jensen.

"The guy who makes the best coffee," says Jay, promptly, with a huge smile.

Jensen rolls his eyes. "You want more."

"Always," says Jay. Her eyes light up as she looks out the window. "Or not! I gotta go!"

Jared follows her line of vision and there's that Sam kid outside, smiling warmly. Jared scowls as menacingly as he can.

"That him?" asks Jensen, leaning over as Jay takes off. He's close, and Jared only notices how he smells and how warm he is because Jay was talking about it. "He looks okay." Of course, right then, Sam notices Jared's scowl and his smile drops. "Well, now he looks terrified, but I think that's just you."

"Leave me alone."

"Have you talked to him at all?" asks Jensen.

"I'm mostly at the stalking and glaring phase right now."

"No wonder he likes you so much." Jensen pours him some more coffee. "Give him a chance. I've never seen Jay perk up that much at anything that wasn't written in nineteenth century England."

Jared sighs. "You might be right."

"I'm always right," says Jensen. "Just admit it."

*

Misha teaches English at Chilton, and he's fun and kind of endearingly wacky, but Jared breaks it off after two dates. He tells himself it's because it's weird for Jay, and that makes it tough, but he knows that it's really tha they just don't quite click.

"But what's clicking, anyway?" he asks Sophia on the phone. "Is it important? Is that a real reason?"

"Why are you asking me?"

"I don't know, people just put all this stock into first impressions, and maybe it doesn't matter. You can't really know the second you see someone that you guys are destined, right?"

"Is this about Jensen?" asks Sophia after a minute.

Jared squeaks, completely without dignity. "Why would it be about Jensen?"

"Because I remember when you met Jensen, you tool. I thought you guys were going to start making out right there."

"Jay may have asked why I'm not dating Jensen."

"I think we've all wondered that."

"You're supposed to be on my side," Jared says. It might be a whine. He might be whining.

"I am," says Sophia primly. "Jensen's totally in love with you, and he'd be perfect for you, and Misha's too weird for my tastes."

Jared blinks. "Wait, you think Jensen's in love with me?"

There's a long silence. "Yes, you moron."

"No way," says Jared. "You really think that?"

"Everyone in the universe knows that."

There's noise outside, and Jared welcomes the distraction. "I have to go turn the sprinkler on Jay and her boyfriend."

"You're a terrible father."

"And everyone knows it."

Jared really wants to turn on the sprinkler, but all he can think is--people think Jensen loves him.

*

Friday night, Jared tries to worm out of dinner with his parents. He's stressed.

"I'll slip up and tell them you have a boyfriend," says Jared. "They'll never let you hear the end of it."

"I'll tell them you were dating my teacher. Who makes his own furniture."

"Damn you," says Jared. "You're not my real daughter."

"I have your nose."

Jared sighs. "You're right. I'm still sorry about that."

"We have to go. You promised."

"I have chicken pox," says Jared.

"Come on, dad."

Jared doesn't hate his parents. At least, he doesn't hate his mom. It took both of them a long time to get over him ruining his future by not putting Jay up for adoption, but his dad's never forgiven him for being gay. Being gay doesn't have adorable consequences that grow up and go to presitigious prep schools. It just means he's a disgrace.

"I hear," his father says, pretty much as soon as they sit down, "that you're dating a teacher from Jay's school."

"We broke up! Where the hell do you hear this stuff?"

"Board meetings," says his mother.

"Why do they talk about my social life at board meetings?"

"They're about sixty percent gossip," says his mother.

"Great."

"I'm glad you broke up," says his dad decisively. "I didn't like him."

"Why not?" asks Jared. He feels more defensive of Misha right now than he did when they were actually dating.

"Maybe it's because he makes his own furniture," Jay suggests.

"He does?" asks Jared's mother.

"Out of driftwood he finds at the river."

"Can we not talk about this?" says Jared. "We went on two dates. It barely counts. It's like a two on the Richter scale of relationships."

"I just don't like it," his father grumbles.

"Believe me, I know," says Jared, grinding his teeth.

"I have a boyfriend too," says Jay, probably sensing blood in the water. "His name is Sam, he just moved from Chicago."

Jared recognizes that Jay is trying to help him, so he doesn't snarl when Sam's name comes up. In fact, his dad seems so against the entire idea of Jay's boyfriend that by the end of the night, Jared is feeling positively warm and fuzzy toward the guy.

*

Monday morning, Jared is working the front desk while Lauren yells at someone about something (Lauren's life is something of a mystery to Jared). He's not a huge fan of the front desk--it's fun when he gets to shoot the shit with people, but a lot of the time it's just people complaining, and Jared wants to punch them, but that's not really how things are supposed to go.

The woman who shows up at ten is pretty, red-headed with a nice body and a ready smile.

"Are you Jared?" is the first thing she asks.

"I am," says Jared, grinning. "Am I a legend now?"

"I've heard a lot about you, anyway," she says. "I'm a friend of Jensen's."

"Jensen has a friends?" Jared asks, before he can stop himself.

The woman laughs. "Okay, ex. Jensen has more exes than friends, I'm pretty sure."

"Oh," says Jared. He's seen Jensen date before, but never seriously enough that Jared would have considered any of them friends or exes. "Nice to meet you, um."

"Danneel Harris," she says, extending her hand. "I'm a reporter, just passing through on my way to Boston. Thought I'd check in with Jensen. He said this was the place to stay."

"Yeah," says Jared, shaking automatically. "Definitely."

He checks her in, wonders--if this is the kind of girl Jensen really likes. He goes out with guys and girls, first dates, even second, but Jared's never thought about Jensen with someone.

Well, maybe one person.

Every once in a while.

*

Because Jared's life is fucking awesome, Jay is talking to Danneel when he gets to Jensen's that afternoon.

From a distance, Jared thinks bitterly, they look like an awesome little family unit. Jay is engaged, looking happy and interested, and Jensen is watching with something like approval in his eyes.

Jared doesn't want to start throwing punches, so he stomps down to Morgan's Market to cool down. Maybe with an ice cream sandwich. Ice cream sandwiches are very calming.

Of course, he storms into Morgan's and collides, immediately, with Sam.

"Oh, sorry!" Sam stutters, and then turns white as he sees it's Jared. "Oh my god. You're--I'm so sorry. I, um. Hi?"

Jared finds himself laughing. He can't help it. The kid is--god forbid--kind of cute.

He looks like at Jared like he thinks he's going to get eaten.

"Hi. I'm Jared. I hear you know my daughter."

"Uh, yeah. I know I should have--introduced myself? I guess? I don't really know. She said I should wait until she worked on you a little."

"I'm feeling magnanimous today," says Jared. He looks sharply at Sam. "You know what that means?"

"Yes?" says Sam.

"Are you asking me?"

"No, I know what it means. Um. Good?"

"If you sell me an ice cream sandwich, I'll tentatively approve of your relationship with my kid."

"Deal," says Sam.

"So, what are your dreams for the future?" Jared asks, as he makes his way to the cooler. "President?"

"I like wood," says Sam. Jared stares. "I mean--building! I like building things. With wood. I guess I might like other mediums too? I'm really nervous."

"I can tell." Jared grabs two ice cream sandwiches. "What do you like about Jay?"

"She reads."

"I hear literacy is hot," Jared agrees.

"I mean--not a lot of girls read, and--she cares, and she's special, and, you know, pretty, but that's not why. I mean, I like it, but it's not--" he closes his eyes. "Kill me now."

Jared laughs. "I think Jay'd be pissed. But thanks--I needed that."

"Needed what?"

"Everything that just happened. You should come watch a movie with us sometime."

Sam swallows. "Okay?"

"Cool," says Jared. He sticks half an ice cream sandwich in his mouth and waves as he goes.

*

When he gets back to Jensen's, he's finished both sandwiches and feels better about his life.

"So what's it like reporting overseas?" Jay is asking Danneel eagerly as he pushes the door open.

"Depends on where you're reporting. I got to got to Italy once, that was sweet."

"Italy? Really? I always wanted to go to Italy."

"Hey, kid," says Jared, sitting down next to her.

"You're late," says Jensen, plonking a mug in front of him. "I nearly gave your seat away."

"I can see there's a lot of demand for it," says Jared, looking around the deserted diner. Four-thirty is not rush hour.

"Drink your coffee, I can see the withdrawl already settling in," Jensen says.

"I talked to your boyfriend," Jared tells Jay, taking a sip of and watching Jay's face.

"Wait, what? When? Why?"

"Just now. Ran into him at Morgan's. He nearly fainted."

"Dad! How could you? God, I have to go tell him you're an idiot." She grabs her bag and is nearly out the door before she turns back and says, "Really nice to meet you, Danneel!"

"You too," says Danneel, smiling. She turns to Jared. "Sweet kid."

"Yeah, she's a real winner," he agrees.

There's silence for a minute, and it feels more awkward than it has any right to.

"I actually better get going too," says Danneel, fairly gracefully. "Thanks for the burger, Jensen."

"Say bye before you skip town," says Jensen. She salutes, and Jared pretends not to notice, looking resolutely into his coffee. He and Jensen the only ones in the diner now, and it feels intimate and strange.

"So, girlfriend."

"Ex," says Jensen. "You have exes, right?"

"Yeah, but I didn't know you did."

Jensen snorts. "Why wouldn't I?"

"You're just--you're always here," says Jared.

"Yeah," says Jensen. "I have entire relationships right in this very diner. I've even got a couple kids in the back."

"You kind of do, though," says Jared. "With me."

"I have kids with you?"

"Our entire relationship is here."

"I see you other places."

"Yeah, but--you're pretty much my best friend after Sophia, you know that? I come here every day because--I want to see you."

Jensen shifts, looking uncomfortable. "I guess I--Hey!"

Jared looks around wildly, spots Jay's friend Polly with a flyer.

"You can't put that up here," says Jensen. "No flyers."

"Come on, Jensen," Polly weedles. "Just one."

"No. I give you one, and then next time some kid comes in to advertize their band, I've got a precident."

Polly pouts, but takes off.

"All you need is a cane and you'll have the whole damn-kids-get-off-my-lawn look down," Jared remarks.

"Shut up, Padalecki." He looks at Jared askance, is quiet for a long, awkward moment. Jared doesn't know what he's supposed to say. He feels like he already said too much. "You're actually my best friend," Jensen finally says.

Jared swallows. "Yeah?"

"You thought I had no friends. Who were you thinking your competition was?"

"How come we never dated?"

"Why would we have dated?"

"You like guys. I like guys."

"I like girls and Mrs. Kripke likes guys, that doesn't mean we should hook up."

"She's married."

"Jared."

"Jay asked me that for years when she was little. I like Jensen, why don't you date Jensen?" he says, pitching his voice high.

"She was a kid. Kids don't get it."

Jared quirks his lips. "She asked last week."

Jensen pours him more coffee. "Why are you asking?"

"I wanted to punch Danneel in the face. I saw in here with you and Jay and I was jealous. That's not normal, right?"

"Given she's your daughter, definitely not."

"Sophia says you're in love with me."

"Sophia's dating your sketchy produce guy. She doesn't have the best judgment."

"Jay wants you to come live at our house and make us coffee every morning."

Jensen doesn't look at him. "You've given me pretty much every single person's opinion on this except yours. Which seems like the important one."

Jared leans back. The stool doesn't have a back, so he has to work to keep from overbalancing, but it feels vital to look at the ceiling right now. Jared never claimed to make sense.

"I don't really like a lot of people," says Jared.

"You love people," says Jensen. "I'm the angry grouch with the cane, you're the people-person."

"I like meeting new people, talking to them a little. But I don't have friends. I don't hang out on a Friday night."

"You have a kid," says Jensen.

"I'm saying," says Jared, "if I don't come in here every day, I miss you. When I don't want to see anyone but Jay, I still want to see you. Even when you just make fun of me and tell me I drink too much coffee and am too perky and judgmental and imbalanced. When I want to strangle everyone else in the world, I still want to come in and bicker with you."

"So you're saying you hate me less than other people. Or like hating me more," says Jensen.

"I'm saying," says Jared. He pauses. "Actually, I'm pretty much saying that, yeah."

"If you're trying to ask me out, you suck at it."

"I'll buy you a coffee," says Jared. "I know this place that makes great coffee."

"Jared--"

"I'm kind of slow," says Jared. "But, you know. I could make my own coffee. It'd be cheaper. I could get food without verbal abuse."

"You can't cook."

"There are other places in Stars Hollow. Without verbal abuse. I choose verbal abuse, every day."

Jensen puts his washcloth down on his shoulder. It's such a familiar motion, huffy and a little annoyed, and Jared has to smile, almost hopefully.

"So get back here and get me a coffee," says Jensen. "If this is a date, I'm not getting my own."

Jared slides off his stool and comes back, grabbing a mug. He's not entirely surprised when Jensen pins him up against the sink and kisses him.

Jared closes his eyes and grins into Jensen's mouth, pulling him closer, trying to make Jensen understand that this is the best idea he's ever had, and that it should absolutely happen every day. Maybe for the rest of their lives.

"You still have to buy me that coffee," says Jensen. "Maybe a burger."

"What are you getting me?"

Jensen kisses him. "Two more dinners and I put out."

"Like you've ever waited for the third date."

"When I mean it," says Jensen, and Jared's surprised by the sudden honesty.

"Am I interrupting something?" asks Katie, poking her head in.

"We're closed," says Jensen. "For a private party."

Katie raises her eyebrows. "I wouldn't have the private party in the front room. Too many windows."

"Thanks for the tip," says Jensen. "Get the hell out."

"I was hoping you were gonna be less cranky when you two finally hooked up," Katie grumbles, but she shoots Jensen a grin as she goes.

"Did everyone really know you were in love with me?" asks Jared, kind of amazed.

"Shut up," says Jensen, without much heat.

*

Two dates later, Jared drinks coffee at his own house in the morning, sitting at his own table while Jensen makes pancakes.

"You know this is a learnable skill," says Jensen. "You could do this."

"Why would I learn when I've got you?" asks Jared, grinning.

Jensen laughs into the pan, looking happier than Jared has ever seen him. "Guess you're set," says Jensen.

"Definitely," Jared agrees.